The Best Laid Plans: Expect the Unexpected
by OddCoupler222
Summary: Not in med school anymore, Callie and Arizona are still learning that life and love both come with some twisting, turning surprises. Just as some plans go awry, certain expectations weren't meant to be, and that just might work out for the best. AU
1. The Conference

For the first time in almost a week, Arizona Robbins went to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

As soon as elevator doors closed behind them, pale hands lifted to an expensive buttoned up shirt, toying with top two buttons – subsequently popping them open – grinning against the lips that were pressed against hers only to be left with a pout as those lips pulled away from hers and panted hot, heavy breaths against her ear, "Arizona, wait. Stop. We – we're still in the elevator!"

She wasted no time dipping her head and latching her lips onto the skin presented to her on the long column of that smooth neck, her hunger for the taller woman not even close to being sated. In fact, it had barely been unleashed at all. Nipping her teeth in once more, she flicked her tongue out, "So? Pretty sure we've gotten started in a lot more public places."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the elevator doors opened, and she hardly managed to hold in her groan as she realized that they weren't on the right floor, and a man joined them. He kept his eyes averted from them, because even though they weren't in any sort of compromising position at the moment, Arizona was positive that their panting was a dead giveaway.

She couldn't really bring herself to care, and she waited impatiently for the elevator doors to open on her floor, squeezing her legs together and reaching down to tangle their hands together, preparing to pull her off the elevator as soon as the doors opened. Out of the corner of blue eyes she could see a blush work up on the other woman's cheeks and the hand that wasn't clasped in Arizona's lifted to pull together the top of her shirt, fingers brushing over the nametag she was still wearing from the conference they'd just left.

The Lauren Boswell nametag that glinted in the dim light of the elevator, and Arizona stared at it, counting down the seconds until she would be able to rip that and the shirt it was pinned on to, off.

Finally, they came to a stop on her floor of the hotel, and as soon as they were out of the elevator with the doors closed, she turned to pin her girlfriend to them. Only to be pushed back with a low laugh coming from her throat, followed by a breathless whisper, "Where's your room?"

Reaching down to take that hand in hers again, she pulled harder than she meant to, causing the woman to stumble a bit behind her trying to keep up. Her hands were already shaking in anticipation, making it difficult to accurately swipe her key card in the lock. Her girlfriend's eyes were lit up in laughter as she took the card from her, "You need to take a deep breath, and that's my medical opinion," she said, easily opening the door.

But instead of taking a deep breath, Arizona took her hands and pulled them into the room, slamming the door behind them as she quickly pressed her body against the long one that hers was craving, "I don't need a deep breath," she whispered, leaning up on her tip toes and nipping at a soft earlobe before pulling it into her mouth, then releasing it with a light pop, "I need to be inside of you."

Her girlfriend's thighs were already spread and Arizona wasted no time in thrusting one of hers in between, capturing the answering groan in her mouth, as she brought their lips together. It wasn't a slow, savoring kiss, but hard and harsh. Tongues slid against each other, fighting for control, until Arizona pulled back just a bit to nip at her bottom lip.

She could feel the heat through the dress pants the taller woman was wearing and through her jeans, and the rhythm she set with her leg was quickly building as the taller woman thrust her hips was increasing in tempo. As her head fell back to hit the door, Arizona took advantage, lowering her head to suck at the skin there, the back of her mind telling her to be careful not to leave a mark, but the urge to mark her as _hers_ was too strong.

Her hands lifted to undo the rest of those buttons on that shirt until it split enough for her to palm breasts, her thumbs brushing over already hardened tips, her own arousal skyrocketing at the feeling. As she rolled a nipple between her thumb and forefinger, she thrust her leg up higher, making her girlfriend grunt and release her breath on a whimper, "Ar-Arizona, fuck. If you want to be inside of me, then _be inside of me_. Please," her voice broke on a desperate whimper, her hips thrusting up.

Grinning against her collarbone, she slid her hand down, popping open the button and the delicate zipper in a hurry, she wasted no time slipping her hand inside the waist of her underwear, the grin vanishing from her features, as she dropped her forehead to read on a strong shoulder, "Fuck, you're wet."

A chin brushed the side of her head as her girlfriend nodded quickly, "Yeah, yes, god, I am. Touch me, please. I – it's not going to take much," she gasped out.

Arizona could tell. Running her fingers down, she gathered her wetness on her hand, then slid it up, rubbing over a hard clit. Hips jumped out at her at the contact and she moved her fingers lightly over the nub, enjoying the way hands clawed into her hair and pushed her face down, so she could take a nipple between her lips. Her tongue moved over it lightly, the same way her fingertips barely touched, despite the insistent movement of hips.

"Please," the plea ripped through the room, and giving in for just a second, she dipped her fingers back down and thrust two in, rubbing her thumb in hard strokes, for just a few moments, feeling walls already clench around her.

But she'd been wanting this for days, and she didn't want it to be over yet, and despite how much her own body wanted her to continue, she pulled her hand out, prepared to meet confused, lustful eyes. The need she saw in them made her clench her own legs tighter together, and she took her girlfriend by the hips, walking her backwards, tearing off her shirt and dropping it to the floor as they went.

Pants were only at her knees before Arizona decided it really didn't matter if they were all the way off, and pushed by the shoulders, making her fall onto her back and climbing on top of her, her mouth quickly reclaiming her girlfriend's before her hand went back to slip under lacy underwear.

A strong hand held hers in place, stopping her feather light touch as she panted against her lips, "Arizona, n-no teasing. Please."

It was that please that broke her. She knew they would have more time later, anyway, and she quickly slipped her fingers back inside, pumping quickly, rubbing her palm over her distended clit in time her thrusts. It hardly took any time with a consistent rhythm before those hips bucked up roughly, mouths parting as a series of amazing moans filled the room.

And all too soon, it was over, and that tall body melted onto the mattress, and Arizona slowly drew her hand out before resting her body on top of her girlfriend's, lifting her other hand to stroke at soft hair until her breathing returned to normal, ignoring the throbbing between her own legs.

Lifting her head from where she had it rested on her chest, she smiled down at her, "This has been a really long week."

As a hand trailed up a smooth back, blue eyes were met with a satisfied smile, "You're telling me."

Arizona lowered her head, pressing a light kiss against those full ones briefly before pushing herself up onto her knees and crawling over to the corner of the bed, reaching down to retrieve the shirt she'd all but ripped off minutes ago. Pulling it into her hands, she unclipped the nametag and ran her finger over it, fixing her girlfriend with a raised eyebrow, "Lauren Boswell?"

Her girlfriend answered with a lazy, "Hmm?"

Giggling, she dropped it back to the floor where it fell with a thump and she crawled back up, trailing her hand up a tan stomach, between her breasts before resting it over a still fast beating heart, "Calliope, where did you even get that nametag?"

A bright smile flashed and Callie found the energy to push herself so she was sitting up, "I was just going to walk in and surprise you, but the women at the table outside of the doors stopped me." Full lips pressed against the side of a pale neck as a long-fingered hand slipped under the back of Arizona's shirt, running her hand up her spine, eliciting goose bumps, "I saw that this nametag was still left on the table, so I picked it up and apologized for being late."

Still giggling a little bit, she turned her head, purposefully gaping her mouth, "Calliope Torres, you _stole_ entrance into the fellowship conference! What if this Lauren Boswell really was running late, and when she got to the front doors to get in, she's just locked out?"

Callie's low chuckle in her ear made her shiver, and she watched as her girlfriend kicked her pants the rest of the way off before she slid behind Arizona, her legs coming to rest on the outside of the blonde's, her hands coming up to unbutton her shirt, slowly, as she pressed another kiss to the spot right below Arizona's ear, shivers arising on the skin, as she knew they would, "Well, you see, I thought about that," she whispered, loving how Arizona's head fell back to rest on her shoulder.

Blue eyes, already darkened with desire, looked up at her, "You thought about it?"

Sliding her hands down, she ran them over the smooth skin of Arizona's stomach, tugging the tucked in shirt out of her pants, "Mhmm. And for a second, I told myself that maybe I didn't have to surprise you, and that I shouldn't steal her only entrance into the rest of the conference… but then I remembered that she was the woman who hit on you – what, was it two years ago? – when she came to Boston, and then I decided that I really didn't feel bad."

Her hands came back up, fingertips slipping into the blonde's bra, fingertips just grazing her nipple. Arizona gasped, her warm breath hitting Callie's jaw, "I don't feel bad, either."

Smiling, she brought her head down to rest against her girlfriend's forehead, while one hand held that perfectly sized boob, tweaking the nipple with her fingers and walking her other hand along the skin right above the dark jeans, "I don't think we should keep talking about –" in a quick movement, she undid the snap and the zipper and slid her hand down over Arizona's underwear, cupping her through the wet fabric, "– Lauren Boswell."

She didn't really even remember who she was, and especially not now, as her girlfriends hand moved over her, clouding her mind that much more, "Yeah," she breathed out, seeking a firmer touch.

Arizona couldn't control the way her hips jumped up into the touch, her lips seeking out Callie's in a quick kiss before she dropped her head back down to a strong, tan shoulder, need quickly rising inside of her. As those fingers moved over her boy shorts, she dug her hands into the smooth thighs that surrounded hers, groaning, "Calliope."

That low voice in her ear made her impossibly more turned on, "What? Do you want me to really touch you?"

Quickly nodding, she arched into the hand that suddenly twisted her nipple, "Shit – god, yes. Touch."

A strangled scream made its way out of her throat as Callie's hand finally dipped inside, and lightly ran over her, fingers not actually making contact where she wanted them to. Her breath was already starting to come faster, and her heart skipped a beat just as her girlfriend's palm brushed over her throbbing clit. The touch was brief and it left her aching for more.

One hand lifted of its own accord, digging into that dark hair, her toes already clenching in preparation as Callie's face came down, nudging hers to turn so that plump lips could seek out her earlobe before she whispered, "You teased me, against the door."

"Barely," she managed to get out as that mouth worked wonders on her ear. Callie knew her and her body too well, so that when she tried to wiggle her hips in a way that could make those fingers brush over her, her hand skillfully evaded. Turning her head and opening her eyes so she could see those dark brown ones, she was so not above pleading, "Please –"

And that was all she managed to get out before two fingers slid inside of her, moving quickly as her thumb came up to brush her aching clit. Her heart felt like it was jump started and she slammed her head back on Callie's shoulder, "God! Yes!"

Those long fingers curled upwards inside of her, finding _that_ spot, making her buck up into the touch. Long, caramel legs hooked around hers, stilling anymore movements from her as those fingers continued to thrust in and out at such a fast pace she wasn't entirely sure how Callie was managing to keep them sitting up in their position. And then her thumb pressed down against the side of her bundle of nerves, moving quickly back and forth as her hand stilled and the fingers inside of her mimicked the motion and she didn't think at all anymore.

Callie connected their mouths again, and Arizona could feel her lips move as she spoke and the way she spoke the words into her mouth, "Happy sex-iversary, baby."

Her orgasm tore through her, like being hit with a freight train and despite her girlfriend's hold over her legs, she couldn't stop the way Arizona's hips jerked as pleasure coursed through her veins. Aftershocks moved through her as those long fingers continued to rub against her, knowing exactly when the pale, slim body has had enough, and just as the last shudder passed through her, she breathed back, "Happy sex-iversary." Her entire body relaxed into Callie's as her hand reached up and played with the ends of that gorgeous dark hair, "I love you."

Hot breath washed over her hear, as the Latina murmured into it, "I love you, too." Now those lips pressed against her cheek then her forehead as her arms slid up, wrapping around Arizona's waist and scooting them both backwards, so that Arizona's back was cushioned against her girlfriend's soft, warm, naked body.

By the time Arizona found her strength, she realized she was lying there with a smile on her face, her head pillowed against Callie's shoulder and hands resting against the strong forearms wrapped around her waist. With a happy sigh, she pushed herself up onto her knees so she could turn around, taking off her own shirt and bra that were both just hanging onto her arms at this point and tossing them off the edge of the bed.

Raking her eyes up that body, she scooted closer, running her hands up her legs until they reached her girlfriend's hands and she locked onto them, "How is it possible that you look even better now than you did six years ago?"

A perfect eyebrow quirked up, "It's not. You're just blinded by love."

Blue eyes fell down to take in her breasts, "Um, nope. Believe me, as a completely impartial judge, your body looks even better now than it did in med school."

The hands that hers were being held in tugged down, sending her toppling back on top of that body that really _did_ look even better. Sometimes she thought Callie looked even more beautiful every time she saw her. Looking up, dark eyes were staring down at her, amused, "An impartial judge? I'm pretty sure you'd still be with me if I became hideously deformed, that's how non-impartial you are."

She shrugged, then used Callie's own strength to push herself up and plant a kiss on her lips, "Calliope Torres, you could never be hideously deformed." Then she giggled, and pressed their lips together again, sighing at the feeling before another laugh bubbled up, "I guess by my own admission, I give up objectivity. But that doesn't mean it's not true."

One of those hands pulled away from her and came to rest on her hip, right above the jeans she was still wearing unbuttoned, "I don't think you're more gorgeous now than you were that night at Joe's; it's just not possible. You stopped my heart then and you still stop it now. It's a consistent factor that I love about you." That hand slid against her skin, her thumb stroking around her belly button, "I hope you realize how much I miss having my heart stopped around the hospital."

Arizona leaned back, straddling her lap, "Well, it's not like our in-hospital sex life is truly suffering," she replied, thinking of the way they've managed to arrange their schedules in the last two months.

Callie brought both of her hands up now, stroking down her sides, "I know. Thank god for lunch breaks."

In the last few months, Arizona had finished her residency at Mass Gen and proceeded to start her fellowship at Boston Children's Hospital, while Callie was still there to finish her residency. The hospitals were less than a ten minute drive apart and were even closer to their apartment, so it wasn't as if they were hurting to see each other most days. Plus, as Callie said, most of their days they managed to get lunch together, as long as they didn't have a surgery planned. And lunch could consist of actual lunch, but more often than not, if they had more than twenty minutes, it consisted of lunch, plus some on-call room time.

This was their fifth official sex-iversary, and in the last few years, they had even sometimes had to celebrate it in said on-call rooms at the hospital. But for this one, Arizona was attending her first fellowship conference, in New York. The conference had already been going on for five days, and was scheduled to continue for two more. She'd been sitting in the last session of the day when the voice she'd been dying to hear and had been counting down the hours until their skype date spoke low in her ear from behind her, "Dr. Robbins, what a surprise."

Arizona had turned around and she knew that shock was evident on her face, "Dr." _Torres_ was about to drop from her lips, but then she saw the stolen nametag and she smirked, "Boswell. It truly is a surprise. I didn't expect to see you here."

In fact, Callie had had a surgery scheduled, but her girlfriend had leaned down, her breath hot on Arizona's ear, "My surgery got moved to an emergency last night. I'm officially off for the next two days, and I thought: what better way to spend it than in a hotel with my girlfriend?" Brown eyes had looked around them to make sure no one was paying attention before she nipped her teeth into her earlobe, then blew cool air on it before pulling back, "So… this session… is it mandatory?"

It had been, yes. But the lecture was already over, and they were just taking a break before starting the follow-up questions portion. And the lecture had been tedious, and Arizona couldn't imagine it would get any better with the questions part. Her hand had already sought out Callie's and started pulling her toward the exit, throwing her a look over her shoulder, "Not anymore."

Her girlfriend's smile shined brightly at her, "Thank god."

Reaching up, Arizona combed her fingers through her girlfriend's hair, the dark locks curling slightly around her fingers before she looked at the clock with a sigh, "I just want to lie in bed with you for the rest of the day."

Back home, they were still living in the same apartment that they had first moved in to together, back when Callie was still in med school. It felt so strange to even look back on those days, the days where their relationship had been anything but completely stable. Thinking back to when she'd refused to spend the night with Callie by her own free will, and now when they had nights apart she had trouble sleeping.

It was just such a weird thing to think about. And it made her laugh.

Regardless, they hadn't had the chance to just spend the day in bed together in what felt like months, even though she knew it was only just a few weeks ago. Either way, they hadn't had a full day off together in weeks and especially considering she'd been in New York for almost a week…

Dropping her forehead back down to Callie's, she sighed as she felt her breath against her lips as the Latina responded, "So let's do it."

Blue eyes rolled, thinking of the detailed itinerary that she had received upon arrival to the conference and subsequently memorized, "Because there's a social dinner mixer that's mandatory attendance."

The same groan that mirrored the way she was feeling fell from those luscious lips, "What time?"

Looking at the clock, she wiggled her hips against Callie in frustration, "Ten minutes."

Then her eyes wandered back down to her very naked girlfriend's very naked chest… and stayed, heart starting to race again and her mouth went a little dry, "Uh, I don't think it's really all that important to go."

Callie reached to the pillow on the apace next to them and rested it over herself, her grin devious, "Arizona Robbins, I refuse to be the reason you ruin your nearly perfect attendance record to everything work and school related. Besides, we have to be there in ten minutes and I need to find my bra."

Poking out her bottom lip, she let out an overdramatic sigh and lifted her leg, flopping onto her back on the bed as Callie scooted to the edge and found her recently kicked off pants and underwear, then pulling them up her legs before looking around the room before her words registered in Arizona's brain, "Wait, we? Babe, this is for fellows! They know who's supposed to be there and who isn't."

Callie turned around, that same smile still on her face as she reached down and picked up the magnetic nametag, "I know."

Shaking her head, unable to stop herself from smiling, she pushed herself up and reached for where her own shirt and bra were discarded near the foot of the bed before redoing up her jeans. Then she scooted to the side of the bed where her girlfriend was sitting, after she had just slipped the straps of her bra up and over her shoulders.

Arizona's hands reached out and nimble fingers re-clasped the bra she'd hurriedly thrown off not nearly long enough ago, scraping her teeth lightly against the back of Callie's neck just for one more little taste before they had to go, "I hope you know that to the few people I've already talked to in the last few days about my personal life, I've already bragged about my gorgeous, talented fifth-year resident girlfriend. This might throw some people off."

The taller woman turned her head to the side, her smile shifting from her mischievous one to a sweet one that was reserved mostly for the blonde, "Good, then I'll take off this imposter nametag as soon as we get in, then. I don't want to ruin your image as the nation's most impressive pediatric fellow with a hot resident girlfriend."

Pushing herself to stand and waiting for her girlfriend to re-button up her shirt, she offered out her hand, linking their fingers together as they started to head out the door, "On the contrary, walking in with you can only boost my already awesome reputation."

And, she wasn't going to lie, this conference had been good for one thing: it had proven that the horror show she had turned in to in the last few years of working in the hospital had paid off. With the batch of other surgeons in their own fellowship programs here this week, she was the best. As she was studying under Dr. Krasner, one of the most respected pediatric surgeons in the _world_, even assisting him on his grant funding in the last month, people were already starting to know the name Dr. Arizona Robbins.

Callie sighed, "I love having such a talented girlfriend."

"You're going to love it even more after dinner," she promised.

* * *

As Callie's light snores filled the room, making it sound like home, and buried her face into the crook of her neck with that smile as she closed her eyes. It was the first time she'd actually gone to bed feeling tired and worn out in the fucking best possible way, only slightly comparative to the exhaustion after a long, fulfilling surgery, in a week.

Snuggling as close as she could into caramel skin, she sighed, having missed the weight of her girlfriend's arm draped over her hip in the last few days. Sleep came easier than it had in what felt like far too long.

And as the loud ringing of her cell phone ripped her out of that sleep nearly two hours later, she sat up quickly, for a second forgetting where she was and thinking it was her hospital pager calling her in to work. Shaking her head, she ran a hand through her hair to push it away from her face, and groaned. Lifting Callie's arm, her girlfriend moved her leg to hook it over Arizona's waist, her heavy tired voice muffled as her face was smashed against the pillow, "Don't go."

She didn't want to move. But she wiggled around to scoot out from under her leg, "I don't know who's calling me, but it's probably for good reason if it's after midnight."

Callie sighed into the bedding, after having been woken more by her girlfriend sitting up so abruptly rather than the ringing of the phone. Lifting her hand, she rubbed at her eyes, which she was forcing to stay half open, curious as to who was calling her girlfriend at this time of night, when everyone who knew her, knew that she would have been sleeping by now.

Arizona slid to the edge of the bed, her feet landing on the floor softly as she bent to pick up her pants that Callie had pulled off when the two of them had come back from dinner and dropped next to the bed, where her cell phone remained in the pocket.

Her eyes were starting to close of their own volition, but they opened in curiosity as Arizona answered the call, "Dad? What are you…"

She trailed off and Callie watched as that mussed blonde hair shook as Arizona's voice raised just a notch, and then took on what Callie had come to realize was her commanding resident tone, "Dad. You're mumbling, I can't – what?"

It was the way that her shoulders dropped and her voice started to panic that caused Callie's own heart to jump up in her throat and she pushed herself up, sliding to the edge of the bed next to Arizona, whose head was shaking back and forth, vigorously, "No. No, that's not… no."

The last word was whispered and the phone fell from her hand, bouncing on the bed before dropping to the ground.

* * *

**Please let me know your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you're ready to tackle the future with BLP Callie and Arizona, because we're back! Just to clarify for any possible questions: Arizona has now finished her residency at at Mass Gen and is now in the beginning of her peds fellowship at Boston Children's Hospital. Callie is in her last year of residency at Mass Gen, so it's been six years since they've known each other and four years since the very end of the last story. **


	2. A Surreal Nightmare

Callie had never felt more useless in her entire life. Gripping the edge of the kitchen counter in front of her, she bowed her head and took a deep breath. God, everything in the last few days didn't even feel real to her.

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she reached up to wipe them away, because the last time she'd been right here, in the Robbins home kitchen was a few months ago, when she and Arizona had spent a few days of their vacation here, during the spring. She had slept in, and both Daniel and Barbara were working, while Arizona had gone out for a run. While she made herself some late breakfast, Tim had come strolling in through the back kitchen door.

He sat across from her on a stool, wearing his large, dimpled smile, "Hey Cal…"

Her eyes flickered up to him, recognizing that grin so well after having knowing him for years, "Hey Tim…"

"I see you're making some really great looking pancakes, there. And if my calculations are correct, there might be enough for two," he winked and even as she rolled her eyes, she started to smile back.

Reaching for another plate in the cabinet, she split the food she'd been making, "You're just lucky I'm used to cooking for Arizona, too. And that she's not here because otherwise she'd be fighting you for those."

Tim used his fork to cut the pancake in half, stuffing nearly a whole half in his mouth as he answered, "She'd lose. Besides, didn't she already eat this morning?"

A sly smile slid across her face, thinking about a few hours ago, as Arizona had woken her up with a hand over her mouth, a wicked grin on her face as bright blue eyes looked up from between her legs. In the last six years, they had gotten _really_ good at the quiet game, "Indeed, she did."

The fork that had been on the way to his mouth clanked onto the plate, "Really? You had to go there? A guy can't enjoy pancakes when you tell him his sister is – was –" he cut himself off, shaking his head.

Shrugging, still grinning, she stuck her fork out and cut off a piece of his remaining pancake for herself, "You said it first."

He narrowed his eyes at her, shaking his head, "You know what I meant. You're just a cruel, cruel lady."

As she started to clean up, she sent him a raised eyebrow, "Because you didn't assume that your hot sister doesn't have a healthy sex life with me, her hot girlfriend?"

Tim's head just shook in response, "No, no, no. My _baby_ sister doesn't have a healthy sex life. And I certainly don't want to hear about it."

"Your baby sister is thirty-two!" she laughed as he continued to shake his head, and she turned away from the sink, "All right, enough about me and Arizona's sex life. Where were _you_ last night? And this morning, for that matter."

Now he simply looked back up at her, a wolfish grin taking over, "I was doing a little eating out of my own."

"And I'm the inappropriate one here," she mock-huffed, then leaned forward onto the counter, bracing herself on her elbows and in for some gossip. "Who is she? She's not thrown off by the fact that you're a thirty-four year old man who still lives with his parents?"

Blue eyes narrowed at her, "Hey now, don't be rude." But they both knew she was teasing, as this was a conversation they had had many times in the last handful of years. And she knew that it was for logical reasons that obviously, he wasn't going to find a place of his own when he was deployed for at least half of the year anyway. "And her name is Taylor."

The name rolled around a bit in her mind, before it clicked, "Didn't you and someone named Taylor have a thing before your last deployment?"

The blush that came into his cheeks and just a bit on the lobes of his ears looked adorably like the one that Arizona sometimes got, and she was reminded – once again, as she was many times – of the similarities between the siblings, "I… uh, yeah. Same Taylor. We never really stopped."

Reaching both hands out, she started to poke him in the shoulder with her index fingers, "Timmy and Taylor, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g–"

He cut her off, "There's a lot more than k-i-s-s-i-n-g going on up in that tree," he said with a wink, and she dropped her hands, her mouth falling open.

"Wait. You've been dating a woman for…" doing the math in her head, she counted back, "Almost eight months and you haven't brought her home? Arizona is going to kill you when she finds out you've been holding out on her. But her wrath won't be near as much as your moms."

His head dropped into his hands with a groan, "I know, I know. I'm bringing her home soon. I just didn't want to jinx it, and we weren't really all that serious when I got deployed… but she kept writing to me and things just escalated. I didn't plan on it."

Arizona had hit him in the shoulder – hard – later that night when Callie had told her about Taylor. In the next month that Tim still had before getting deployed, he'd told them that he was going to see what he could do about making this his last deployment and seeing if he could possibly get some sort of a job like their father's. After dedicating sixteen years of his life, deploying all over the world, he thought that he might want to try something new.

Without even realizing it, Callie had leaned over the counter in the same way that she had that morning during the conversation with Tim, a choked, weird combination of a laughing sob working out of her mouth. He was finally ready to try to settle down, and he died. He fucking died.

Tim died and now the Robbins house felt different. There were flowers all over the dining room from what felt like every single person the Robbins knew, and Daniel had been out of the house practically day and night, and Barbara was just crying all of the time, and Arizona wasn't even talking to her. Or anyone. At all.

And she felt like she was fucking useless. So, she'd been making meals and delivering them around the house to whoever was home, only for them to be picked at; she couldn't do more than pick at it herself. She'd been cleaning the already clean home, organizing the floral arrangements and everything else that was being sent. And then, when she couldn't find something to do, she cried.

Because it was just so freaking awful. No one she was close to had ever died before, beyond her grandparents, and all of their deaths had happened when she was too young to really remember it. And now Tim was dead and everything just felt so strange.

"Callie, you don't have to keep cooking for us," Barbara's voice came from behind her, making her jump and she tried to wipe away her tears as fast as possible.

Clearing her throat, she tried to sniffle quietly before turning to face her. Since she'd met Arizona's parents, their relationship hadn't been anything but amazing. Her relationship with her own mother was still… nonexistent and Barbara was like the mother she wanted and kind of had. And she wanted to _do_ something for her, but there was really nothing she could do.

"I just feel like I need to be useful," her voice gave her away with how hoarse it sounded, but it was the truth.

The older woman crossed the room and stood next to her, her hand reaching up and offering Callie a tissue even as her own eyes watered, "You can cry. I don't know how you've been holding everything together so well."

Never before, not after her very first visit, had she felt like a stranger here; it was a home. But since she and Arizona had arrived, she felt like the odd one out. Leaning backwards against the counter, she tilted her head up toward the ceiling as if that would make it so her tears wouldn't come anymore, and she admitted quietly, "I, um. I feel like I don't have the right to cry, not here. He wasn't _my _brother. He wasn't _my_ son. He…" taking a deep breath, she bit the inside of her lip because it seemed to help keep her crying at bay.

Then Barbara's hands took hers, and she looked down at blue eyes that had never seemed anything but youthful and now they looked so _old_, "Honey, you're a part of the family. Tim… he loved you." Her breath caught in her throat and her hands lifted, wiping a tissue over her eyes again. "I, god, I spent so many years imagining and preparing for this to be Daniel. Not Tim. But now, I don't…" she trailed off, closing her eyes.

Leaning down, she wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, who hugged her back tightly while her body shook just a bit. Minutes later, Barbara took in a deep, shaky breath and leaned back, trying to smile, "Now, what did you make for us?"

Callie looked over her shoulder, "Just some scrambled eggs and toast." Not that Daniel was even home, as he had been up and out for hours at this point, and Arizona was barely eating a bite of food even though Callie had tried at every meal to make her.

Barbara wasn't really even eating more than a few bites, but she continued to try to smile at her, then looked toward the fridge, "Aria sent an Edible Arrangement yesterday. And your father sent flowers. I should call them," her voice was quiet, pensive.

"I-it's all right. They don't expect you to, not right now, not…" not days before you were going to be burying your son, she mentally added, but swallowed the lump in her throat instead, and just repeated quietly, "…now."

Barbara reached behind her and pulled a plate toward them, "Has Arizona been eating?"

And now that completely useless feeling came back, taking up all of the breathing room in her chest, "Not really."

Knowing eyes looked at her, "Has she been talking?"

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes and just pictured how her girlfriend was lying on her bed upstairs, eyes open and staring at the wall in front of her, "Not really."

And she really hadn't done any talking or eating or sleeping in days. Not since the middle of the night phone call. After Arizona's phone had slid out of her hand as she lost all strength to hold it up, Callie had bent to pick it up, and heard the tail end of Daniel's low, trembling voice, saying, "Bug? Are you there?"

There was already a sinking feeling in her chest as she wrapped an arm around Arizona's waist, pulling her closer and feeling her body shaking as their skin met, and she spoke into the receiver, "It's Callie."

"Oh," he sounded distant, frighteningly so, because she'd never heard him be anything but intense. "It's – it's Tim. His body has been identified and –"

And that was when Arizona's head had fallen to her shoulder, landing hard as her forehead pressed in and she shook her head violently back and forth, but Callie could barely feel it because she felt like her own world started to go numb. Tim's _body_.

Hours later, just as the sun started to peek in through the windows, she looked at Arizona, and through her own sadness, she was just plain worried for her girlfriend, who had just been lying down, her eyes closed, since the call. As quietly as she could, she zipped up both of their suitcases, and sat on the edge of the mattress, her hand lightly coming up to cup that soft, pale skin.

God, she knew that her own chest felt like it was imploding and she'd hardly been able to stop crying in the last few hours; she could even imagine when Arizona was feeling. But, after the phone call had ended, when Arizona had curled up and closed her eyes, Callie climbed in behind her and held her before she realized all of the stuff that had to be done. She'd figured her girlfriend was sleeping and slid out of bed.

And she still didn't want to wake her up, she'd thought, her thumb stroking over the skin right under her eyes. She didn't want Arizona to have to wake up and just _hurt_, but… it was out of her control. When blue eyes simply opened at her, staring, she realized that her girlfriend hadn't been sleeping at all.

Her voice was already gravelly, and the fact that she was whispering made it even more so, as she continued to gently rub, "Hey sweetie. I got us a flight down to Virginia for this afternoon. And I already called the director of the conference and Dr. Krasner at Children's, and Tamas at Mass Gen, for me. We're all set to go."

To go see Arizona's parents who were grieving for her dead brother. To go to Arizona's dead brother's funeral. To go down to Virginia because her brother who was also the closest person to her girlfriend throughout her entire life was _dead_. Callie felt like she wanted to vomit, just on her girlfriend's behalf, let alone on her own.

And then Arizona just shook her head, and pushed herself to sit up, her voice raspy, "No. No, we're not flying down to Virginia, because Tim isn't dead."

She said it with such a quiet conviction that it startled Callie – and confused her, "Arizona –"

"Calliope. He's not because – because I would have known. I would have _known_; I would have felt… something. He can't be," her arms wrapped around the knees that she pulled up to her chest, effectively managing to block Callie out from being able to wrap her arms around her.

But Callie had spoken to Daniel last night. She and Arizona both knew that Daniel had gotten word of Tim's death – via an exploded bomb – days ago, and he had acted very much like Arizona was. He refused to believe that it was his son, because the… the remains were unrecognizable, and he didn't believe it until the autopsy and tests had already been done, identifying Tim.

Tim's remains. The words echoed in her head and she shook it, trying to clear the thoughts as she tried again, "Arizona –"

"No!" the blonde had snapped at her, the force of that one word making Callie's eyes open wide until she continued, "I _just_ talked to him."

As lightly as possible, she reached her hand up to touch it to her girlfriend's pairs that were clasped tightly together around her shins, "Arizona, you talked to him a week ago – we both talked to him. A week ago."

Skype times with Tim had become a regular aspect to both of their lives. It was one of the best times in her week. And thinking about it now, about their last Skype talk – and how it was really the _last_ Skype talk, the last talk, the last time… the last – made her want to cry again.

That blonde head shook, rejecting her words even as Callie could see in those eyes that she knew it was the truth. She didn't think she'd ever seen more pain from anyone, ever and the fact that those feelings were in Arizona's eyes, her Arizona, just made her heart hurt even more. Then the eyes closed and the blonde got up and walked to the bathroom, the door shutting behind her loudly.

But she still came to Virginia without any more protests because Callie knew that her girlfriend _knew_. And she didn't know how to help her.

Barbara's eyes sympathized with her, "Arizona, she pulls away from people and into herself, whenever she's hurt. She – she's like Daniel like that," her voice was thick with tears that spilled over again, and she made herself keep talking, "But you know that. And you need to know that she needs you, Callie. She really needs you right now."

Arizona's mom slid that plate even closer to Callie, and she knew she was giving her the sign that she needed to take the food up to her girlfriend. The sign that Barbara needed to be alone. So she took it, and the food, and made her way up the stairs, pausing briefly in front of Arizona's bedroom door before lightly opening it.

Her girlfriend was lying in the same place as she was when Callie got up an hour ago – on her side, with her arms wrapped around herself. It felt so strange – much like everything else had in the last few days – to be with Arizona. Because they had been together for six years and they'd been through the ups and downs of getting together and staying together despite the different obstacles that had come their way.

She knew how to tell when Arizona had a particularly hard case at the hospital, and how to coax out her girlfriend's emotions from that, and comfort her. She knew when she was angry at someone, and how to make her feel better. She knew how to tell when she had a stomach or headache or was just plain stressed, and needed a massage to soothe her body. She knew all of those things, but she didn't _know_ how to give Arizona what she needed in this case.

And that made her feel dumb and inadequate. So she did things like cook. Clearing her throat, she looked down at the plate in her hands even though Arizona's back was to her, "I made some breakfast."

Much like she knew her girlfriend would say – as she'd been saying for every meal – her voice low and muffled as she spoke not facing Callie but the wall, "I'm not hungry."

But different than her usual tactics for every meal, in which she would make Arizona eat at least a little bit, she just put the plate on the dresser, then made her way to the bed. Climbing onto the covers, crawling from the side of the bed she initially sat on so that she could come right up behind her girlfriend, sitting up so she could see her face as her hands reached down.

Because she might not know exactly what the blonde needed right now, but she knew what she needed. Reaching out, she gently pulled the hair elastic out of the curly blonde locks that hadn't been brushed since Arizona's shower yesterday, and she spread them over the pillow, running her fingers through, gently untangling when they reached snarls.

Gradually, she worked all of the knots out until her fingers combed through smoothly, and she continued the motion for a few minutes. Then she shifted, resting her body so it was lying down, her head propped up on her hand behind Arizona. She wasn't crying… somehow, Callie thought this stoic silence filled with so much pain might be worse.

Watching Arizona hurt like this hurt her own heart even more that it was already aching. Scooping the blonde hair to the side, she bent her head down and softly pressed her lips to the nape of that ivory neck, needing to feel the connection, "I know you don't want to hear anything right now," she whispered, "But I need to know if there is _anything_ I can do for you. I need to do something for you," she practically begged.

Before she could register what had happened, Arizona turned so she was facing Callie and not the wall for the first time in days. She took a hold of Callie's arm and wrapped it around her waist, then slid in so their bodies touched, leaving not an inch of space separating them. When she was as close as humanly possible, she dropped her head to the spot between the brunette's neck and shoulder, where Arizona had said several times over the years that she felt like was made for her to snuggle in to.

Callie didn't disagree.

The blonde's fingers dug into her back, as she whispered, "Hold on to me. Don't let go," and the words were so hushed, Callie felt like they must have burned coming out as she tightened her arm around Arizona's waist, even though they couldn't be any closer.

She lowered her lips to press against Arizona's temple, "I'm not. Not ever."

Her girlfriend's voice was so small, "Promise?"

And Callie was sure her heart was going to break, "I promise."

She could feel Arizona nod against her and hear her swallow a few times before saying, "Because I know I've been – I haven't been… the last few days, I've –" she cut herself off, hiccuping.

Callie smoothed her hand down Arizona's back, then slipping underneath her shirt, pressing against her soft lower back, "Shh. Arizona, your brother died. You're allowed to react whichever way feels like the way you need to react."

The blonde head pulled away, looking up at her face, eyebrows drawing together tightly and those ocean eyes digging right into her, as she whispered with a broken voice, "Tim died. Tim's dead."

Even though her eyes filled with tears the spilled over quickly, because hearing those words still didn't seem natural even though she'd been repeating them in her mind, she kept eye contact and nodded, "Yeah, baby. Tim's dead."

One of Arizona's hands slid up her back, to her face, her thumb moving back and forth, collecting her tears on it, "I can't. I can't cry. I feel like if I start, I'll never stop," she confessed.

She lowered her head back down so her cheek rested on the top of that blonde hair, "I can't stop. I'm, um… I really loved Tim." He really felt like Felix to her; like the brother that she hadn't been born with but who she loved like one anyway. In the last six years, she felt like she'd become a part of Arizona's family, and she was the only person who'd ever gotten close enough to be invited into Arizona and Tim's close friendship, and she loved it, and now it was gone.

Arizona's sharp exhale was warm against her chest, "I still love him so much, Callie," she whispered like it was a secret, "And I hate that he's past tense. It just doesn't sound right to me, because he was alive just last week. And now he's not. And…" she trailed off, pushing her face against a tan neck, muffling her voice, "And I can't remember if I told him that I loved him at the end of our conversation. I don't remember if I remembered to tell him."

Callie couldn't remember, either. She knew that her girlfriend probably did, because it was her customary way of saying goodbye, she didn't know for sure. Lowering her other hand, she slipped that under the hem of her shirt as well, sprawling them against Arizona's skin, "He knew that."

Seconds went by before Arizona said, her voice strangely empty, "My dad is going to meet Tim – his – _his body_," she forced the words out, "At the airport hangar this afternoon."

Nodding, she felt Arizona take in a deep, shuddering breath under her hands, "Yeah, I heard. Do you… want to go?"

The blonde lifted her head once more, her eyes searching Callie's face, "Will you come?"

"Of course. I'll do whatever you want me to do, Arizona," she promised.

Then they fell into silence, and Callie realized after nearly a half hour, as her girlfriend's breath had evened out against her neck, her arms slack in their hold around Callie's waist, though her hands still held tight fistfuls of her shirt, that she had fallen asleep. It might have been the first time she'd really slept since they got the phone call, and she kept shock still, not wanting to wake her up from her dreams so that she had to live in her nightmare.

* * *

**Please let me know your thoughts! I can't believe the response to last chapter, I'm so glad so many people are excited for the sequel; this is awesome! Thank you for reading!**


	3. The Voicemail

"Callie left yesterday morning. She, uh, she had to go back to work," her voice was hoarse and her throat felt raw as she looked down at the headstone that had been placed just two days ago. Blue eyes scanned the name as she flashed her flashlight over it: Timothy D. Robbins. Then they squeezed closed and she turned her head sideways, unable to keep looking at the words.

Then she huffed out, "This is stupid."

But she couldn't help herself and she shined the light over them again, dropping to her knees and letting the box of doughnuts slip from her grasp and onto the ground on front of her. Drawing her knees up in front of her, she took out one of the chocolate ones and bit into it, resting her forehead on her knees.

The cemetery was silent save for crickets chirping in the darkness. It was well past the time she would normally be in bed, but lying there felt… wrong. It felt empty. Sleeping in her old twin sized bed should feel full and complete with just herself in it, but it didn't. Callie not being there last night or tonight made her feel more alone than she had felt for the last week.

And then she felt even worse because she didn't answer her girlfriend's phone call from yesterday or from a few hours ago. She couldn't even say why she didn't answer, because she _wanted_ to hear Callie's voice. But while she had stared at her phone and at Callie's picture as she had called, her hands just sat in her lap.

Then she had texted her earlier tonight, _Hey sweetie, you might be sleeping, which would be good. You should get some sleep. I just wanted you to know that our bed misses you and we're waiting for you to come home when you're ready. I love you._

With a deep breath, she pulled out her phone and looked at the message and opened to the picture of Tim that was saved as his contact photo. Seeing his smile flash out at her, with his arm around Callie's shoulders just made her heart pound hard, then sink while feeling like it was wrapped in a vice grip.

Then she moved her thumb to hit the call button, and stared with wide eyes at the grave, closing her eyes as she heard it ring. She hoped this would feel slightly less stupid, and she remembered when Callie had suggested it.

* * *

It all felt so definite now, Arizona thought, as she stood in the hallway staring at the closed door to Tim's room. His _old_ room, she corrected herself, that feeling like she had just been punched in the stomach intensifying, making the back of her throat burn with the feeling like she was going to cry or vomit, much like it had all week.

But no tears came. Her eyes were bone dry. _She_ felt dried up and empty. Hollowed out, except not because if she was hollowed out, she wouldn't hurt this much, right? And it was a weird kind of pain, because she simultaneously felt numb and hollow but at the same time like someone was continuously, excruciatingly gripping her heart and holding tight.

For the last week, there had been this small window, this teeny tiny nugget of hope inside of her that somehow, someway, this wasn't real. That it couldn't be real, because her brother had been on so many tours of duty, gone onto foreign soil and fought for their country so often, that after sixteen years, there was no way this could have happened.

She lied in her bed for the last few nights just waiting for morning, when she would hear Tim's footsteps coming up the front walkway, and see his hair – a bit unkempt just like it usually was – and his smile – just the slightest bit crooked – and his eyes and dimples – exactly the way she saw her own in the mirror – and he could tell them that some sort of mistake had been made.

That he hadn't been the hero who ran in after two Private First Class Officers when he had realized that the building they were going in to was rigged to explode. That he hadn't been shot back from the blast right in front of their company's eyes, so singed and charred that he was unrecognizable.

But this morning, it from the desperate maybe – maybe that body she'd gone with her parents and Callie to pick up at the airport wasn't her brother, after all – to the cold hard truth that Tim really was dead.

Because they had buried him this morning, in the cemetery, right next to their grandfather's grave – the first Timothy Robbins who had died serving their country. Her brother, her alive, lively brother with his smile and his bright eyes, was dead.

She didn't understand people who said that funerals and deaths of their loved ones were blurry. She didn't understand because she felt like every little bit and piece of this morning was burned into her brain, permanently – she could feel Callie's hand holding onto hers and she knew that the way she squeezed it might have left bruises. She could hear the bugle playing Taps. She could feel her mother on the other side of her, shaking as she tried to hold in her sobs. She could see the way the uniformed marines carried the coffin containing her brother's _body_ to where it would be lowered into the ground.

She counted the twelve steps in her head as they folded the flag, seeing each crease before it happened. The flag folding was something that had always mesmerized her at the many funerals she had seen and attended over the years. Maybe because it was so precise and methodical.

Maybe because of how the gloved hands of the uniformed marine delivered it to the next of kin, and those trembling hands would hold on to it, fingers clutching as tightly as they could even as they shook. Arizona didn't even have to look at the expression on their face to see the devastation; all she had to do was look at the hands.

That was burned into her brain, too. The way her mother's hands had reached out, trembling, as she accepted the flag as the deep voice of the man spoke to her, "On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's service to Country and Corps."

Arizona had heard the words, the recital of them what seemed like hundreds of times. She knew them by heart, but today they seemed to strike her right through the heart. And god, they hurt, so much.

She watched her mom's hands. Her fingers as they clutched at the fabric. Her arms didn't even have enough strength to hold on, and she'd turned and before Arizona could see it coming, the flag was pushed into her arms. And then she had looked down at the flag in her hands, recognizing the way her fingers held on tightly the same way so many others had in the past. Now she could see her own devastation in her own hands.

As she walked away from the procession, she remembered the first time she and Tim had witnessed the funeral of a marine.

Tim was seven and she had been five. Their dad was deployed, and their mom had told them to go no farther than the backyard while she cleaned the house. But when they heard that the man who lived down the street was having his funeral on post, and they could see over the fence in their yard as people started to go, they followed.

They were both silent during the ceremony, and she didn't really understand what was going on exactly. All she knew was that in the box that was draped in a flag she'd been taught to respect since she had been born, was her neighbor. When she had finally put together all the pieces and thought about it, let the idea of the funeral play in her mind long enough for questions to form, it was past her and Tim's bedtime.

At this point in her life, her dad wasn't a Colonel, but a Captain, still waiting on a promotion to Major, and their house on base wasn't as big as the one it was when he got that promotion. As such, she and Tim shared a bedroom, and while they had lied in their bunk beds that night, she stared at the bottom of the top bunk mattress, her eyebrows furrowed in thought while she held tightly to the baby blanket she still had, keeping it bundled underneath her chin, and her tongue pressed against the gap where her two front teeth should be, but she'd lost them a week before.

Finally, she'd spoken, "Tim?" When she didn't get a response, she kicked her feet up, making sure to push herself up enough to make solid contact, "Are you awake?"

The groan that answered her was one she was familiar with, and soon her brother's head appeared, upside down, his hair glinting slightly in the light of the nightlight they had plugged in to the opposite wall, "What's up, Bug?"

Still staring at the bottom of the mattress, she asked, "How come they folded the flag and gave it to that lady?"

"'Cause she's Officer Silas' mom and it's her honor to get the flag after he died," he said to her, words sounding like they were coming from someone much older than his seven years, and they were, because he had read it in one of the many books he had checked out from the school library about rules in the military. He didn't always understand the books, but he really liked to read them as best he could.

Running her teeth around that gap, she rolled over a bit so she could look right up at him, "How come Officer Silas got dead?" the slight lisp that was caused by the absence of the front teeth sounded as she got to that "s" sound.

Tim rolled his eyes at her, "He didn't get dead, he died. 'Cause he was fighting in war and he got shot, fighting bad guys. He died a _hero_."

Even then, she didn't miss the pride in his voice as he said the words, but they made her scared, "Does that mean daddy's gonna die while he's away fighting the bad guys, too?"

Now he gave her a smile that only he could give her, "Nah; dad's too good for that. He's like a superhero!" he said the words with an embellishment that made them both giggle, thinking of the way their dad would pick them up and fly them around the house when he was home.

They both muffled their laughs as their mom walked by their door and lightly tapped it, reminding them that after she tucked them in, it meant bedtime. He rolled onto his back and out of her sight once more, and sighed into the air after a few more seconds past, "Can I tell you something, Arizona?"

The seriousness of his words made her giggling subside completely, especially when he called her Arizona. Letting go of her blanket, and pushing down the comforter that her mom had just tucked her into less than twenty minutes ago, she stood on the railing that ran next to her mattress, so that now her head popped up next to his bed.

"What?" she asked, poking him hard in the shoulder on his Batman pajamas, forcing him to open his eyes at her.

"When I'm older, I want to be a superhero, too," he whispered, making the secret implicit between them. The last time he had expressed interest in following in their father's footsteps was at the dinner table a few months ago, and both of their parents stopped eating and stared at him.

He had a way of saying extremely serious sentences, with determined conviction, almost to a frightening extent for someone so small. And even though there had been many discussions, debates and arguments over the years about him joining the marines, he had still done it in the way he wanted to do it.

Their mom had made it no secret when Tim had told her at age seventeen that he planned on enlisting when he graduated that she was against it. She was proud of her husband and to have known so many people who had served, but she already worried enough about their dad to, had too many scares, to encourage Tim. Of course, when he had joined, she supported it, but she hadn't wanted it to happen.

Their dad had been supportive, to a point. He'd worked with Tim on his application and the essays and to get the many recommendations required for him to go to the United States Naval Academy, just as he had done. He wanted Tim to become an officer, just like he was.

But Tim didn't want to go to four years of school before; he wanted to enlist right away, and he knew he could work his way up right from the ground. And he did. His fucking next promotion was right around the corner. It was all but a formality. Damn it.

The last time they'd spoken, he had told her that in a few months he wanted to look at his own apartments. Get a place of his own for the first time, he'd joked, without the paint that their mom had painted on the walls of the bedroom his belongings were still in at home.

And that room was right here, and the door was closed as it had been since the call about Tim had come through to them. She was supposed to be going back to her room, but she couldn't control her own hands, and they reached out for the doorknob, turning it in her hand and it seemed like the world froze as the door swung open, revealing…

Revealing the plain blue comforter on the bed and everything organized the same way it was the last time she'd been home. Everything Tim-related might have changed, but his room here was still the same. This… this was unchanged. It was the same way it was when he was alive, and that was what drew her in, as if in a trance, over the doorstep and into the room.

The flag was still in her arms, and her hands held the sides of it, holding… because if she let go, it was like really dropping Tim. Just letting him go. As she walked to the edge of his bed, her feet feeling as heavy as lead weights, she slowly lowered the flag to rest on top of his pillows, her hands itching to reach for it again as soon as it wasn't touching anymore.

She just let go. She just let the flag go. The thought started racing through her head, and her heart started to thump in her chest, and it felt like she couldn't breathe. All of the sudden she couldn't breathe, because Tim was dead and buried in the ground, and she had just returned from his funeral and she was still wearing the clothes from his funeral.

And they felt so restricting, so tight, that her hands, shaking reached up, and started uncoordinatedly tugging at the neck of her sweater. Off. It needed to be off, god, she _could not breathe_.

"Arizona?" Callie's voice came from only feet away but it sounded so much farther away, and she didn't answer, her hands finally clawing at the bottom of the shirt and pulling it over her head.

Then, as she whipped the shirt over her head, throwing it at the ground, feeling just _dirty_ with the material touching her skin, her girlfriend's face was in front of her, and she could see the concern written all over her features.

Her hands started tugging at the zipper on her hands, but she was shaking so much she couldn't concentrate, and she was gasping so much she didn't feel like she was getting enough air, "I can't breathe. God, I can't breathe in these clothes, Calliope, he-help. I need them off."

Even though she could see the trepidation in those dark eyes, she felt her girlfriend's fingers swat hers away, and she let them fall to her sides, as tan ones undid her pants and pushed them down, the material sliding down her legs, and when they were low enough she kicked them off, finally pulling in deep breaths.

Her girlfriend's hands then went to her hips, holding against her, "Are you… can you breathe now?"

Then she closed her eyes, nodding, "Yes. Yes. I… marry me. I want you to marry me."

The words flew out of her mouth before she even knew what she was saying, and her eyes opened again, staring into Callie's, whose mouth seemed to be stuck gaping open, while she stared at her.

And then her heart started pounding again, and that not being able to breathe sensation came back and – god – she didn't even feel bad about saying the words. This fear wasn't from the words themselves, and that thought alone made her start to shake.

"Arizona –" Callie cut herself off, and Arizona felt her hands move so that they cupped her jaw, and thumbs stroked over her skin as they maintained eye contact and those deep eyes stared right into her, "You – you're really… upset and –"

Finally managing to take in a deep breath, she reached up and grabbed Callie's hands in hers, holding onto them, hard, "No. That's not why. I – I want you with me forever, officially. I want a wedding, where everyone knows that you're mine and I'm yours and – and – and I want to be your next of kin. I'm the one who gets your flag."

Her girlfriend's eyebrows drew together clearly in confusion, and she pulled both of their hands down, leaning her face in close so Arizona could feel her warm breath on her face, "I'm not going anywhere, okay? We don't need to get married for you to know that."

Words blew up in her mind, in her chest, but she couldn't get any more of them out and she tore away from Callie, turning to grab that flag again, holding it tightly against her stomach as Callie pulled her forward, into her. And it was as if all of the strength that had been holding her up just disappeared and her body melted into her girlfriend's, who accepted her weight.

She didn't know how long they stood there, as she felt this strange weightlessness except for the flag in her arms between their bodies, weighing her down. Then she just felt… she felt like she needed to stand up on her own without Callie holding her up, and she pulled back just a bit, but her girlfriend's arms around her held her close, and she whispered, "Not yet. Just let me hold you a little bit longer."

Arizona nodded, her head dropping against her shoulder. She didn't know how to say what she was feeling or the way to describe what was in her heart, all she knew was that nothing felt right anymore.

Callie started to talk again, while her hands rubbed circles over Arizona's back, the movement grounding her more than Arizona would have thought possible, "I talked to Dr. Tamas; I have to be back at the hospital tomorrow night. I, um, I haven't booked my flight yet. I don't know if you want to come back with me or…?"

Her throat felt dry and she felt like speaking was effort as she thought about her girlfriend's words. Callie had been gone from the hospital for a week; she had to go back. Arizona still had more time off. And she didn't know what she wanted to do with the time, but she knew, as she held the flag against her impossibly tighter, that she wasn't ready to just go. Making the words come out, she shook her head lightly, "I'm staying for a little while longer."

Callie's hands took to moving in light motions up and down her spine, "That's fine. Okay." And Arizona could hear in her voice that she didn't want to leave, didn't want to be at their home without Arizona. But she couldn't say anything more. Her voice spoke again, still low, in a way that she knew could soothe the blonde's nerves, "Do you want to talk?"

Her head shook, rubbing her nose against Callie's collarbone, "I just… want to talk to Tim."

"Maybe you could go to the… the cemetery," Callie's words were rough as she said them and Arizona could tell they were painful for her to say, too.

But Arizona shook her head again, "What's the point? He's not there." She knew Callie was religious. She knew her girlfriend believed… in something. But she just didn't. She didn't believe that her brother was there. Only whatever was left of his body was there. She was a doctor; she knew dead bodies. She knew the way light left the dead person's eyes, and that they just weren't _there_ anymore.

"Maybe… you could call his phone?" Callie suggested, while her hand rubbed circles on her lower back.

But Arizona pushed herself away, whispering, "Why? He's never going to answer it."

A tan hand reached up, cupping the back of her head and pressing Arizona's face back down to her shoulder, "Just… I don't know. To feel like you're talking to him."

* * *

The sound of Tim's voice made her eyes snap open wide, her heart jump, before sinking again, as the warm voice spoke, "You've reached First Sergeant Timothy Robbins. I'm currently deployed right now, and will be back in November. You should know that if you're calling my cell phone." His voice was so light, as he laughed, and he always found it amusing that their mom paid his phone bill while he was gone even though he wasn't using it.

His voice shocked her into silence for a few seconds before she found her own again to start speaking after the beep.

"And things… things with me and Callie are different. I don't know how to describe it to you, but I feel different. I feel different about me, not about her… I still," she shook her head, letting out a shuddering breath, "I still love her – am in love with her, so much that it amazes me. Sometimes I watch her sleep and I just think about how much I love her and how I can't wait for another six years to go by to see how much I love her then. I know you're rolling your eyes at me right now, but – um. You _would be_ rolling your eyes at me. If. You know," _you were alive_ the words slithered through her mind, but she pushed them out.

"The other day I asked her to marry me. How ridiculous was that? I know, I know, you don't think it's ridiculous, and you really wanted us to get married just to show off your dancing skills," and for some reason, an image that had never before occurred to her popped up in her mind, of she and Callie in wedding dresses, just… just laughing as Tim stole the dance floor in his horribly amazing way.

And then she felt tears start to pool in her eyes, even as she started blinking and she wondered why the hell it was _that_ out of all of the things in the last week that made these stupid tears start. Then she didn't question them at all because they were coming too fast and too fierce to stop and she didn't even bother to try to wipe them away.

"It just… I feel different now. I feel… I don't even know. I want to be here, with mom and dad because I need to still feel like you're here. But right now, they aren't mom and dad, because you left them," she tried to pull in air, but instead, she was just gasping, "You left them and now how are they supposed to be back to normal again? How am _I_ supposed to go back to life the way it was before?"

She was yelling now, and she could lower her voice even as the words scorched the back of her throat as they came out, "You promised me you would be safe! You fucking _promised_ me you would come home safe and now you're dead and I can't even talk to you. There is no way for you to answer me, for you to tell me about what to do, because you died and you left me and I'm so – so mad at you! Damn it, Tim," she whispered the last part, sniffling loudly.

Then she jumped as her phone beeped loudly in her ear, and the automated voice message spoke in her ear, "You have filled the time length for this message. If this is the message you would like to send, press one. If you would like to re-record-" she cut the voice off and dropped her phone to the ground, next to the doughnuts, grabbing another one and shoving a big bite of it into her mouth.

Her phone ringing startled her and her hands quickly clawed into the ground, her mouth still full as if, somehow, it could be Tim calling her back. Trying to gasp in more air, she shook as she turned over her phone and all of her breath left her in a sharp exhale when she saw that it was Callie.

This time, she hit the accept call button, and she put the phone to her ear but no words formed in her throat that felt much too tight to even let out oxygen, let alone speak.

Callie's voice was low in her ear, and Arizona could tell she was speaking to someone else, "No, he doesn't need another CT, that's not –" then she realized that the phone had stopped ringing, "Arizona? Are you there?"

"Yeah," she managed to get out, even though the word scratched her throat. And then she realized that between the doughnut she was still eating and the hoarseness of her voice, Callie wouldn't have been able to hear her. Clearing her throat, she tried again, "I'm here."

And Callie's voice spoke over her shoulder to someone again, "Fine, go do another CT, don't page me unless he's coding," before she came back to Arizona, "Are you… I didn't think you would be up, but I just wanted to…" she trailed off.

Suddenly Arizona knew why she called. She knew why Callie had suggested she call Tim – because of the times where she called Arizona's phone to hear her voicemail when times went by where she didn't hear her voice. God, she felt like a terrible person for not answering before, but she just couldn't, before. "I, um, I talked to Tim." The way the words sounded out loud made her stomach clench tightly, "I mean – I called his phone. And I left a message. And… and…" and it was awful and she wanted to actually _talk to her brother_.

"I'm sorry," her girlfriend's voice was low and for some reason, it finally worked to calm her, just a bit, "I wish I was there."

"I wish you were, too. And I'm sorry I haven't been answering and that when you were here, I…" she what? She didn't accept her comfort? Arizona didn't even know how to explain her thoughts, and she gulped in air. When she reopened her eyes, they fixated on Tim's name on the headstone again, and she was just hit with the thought, "What if you die before me?"

Callie was silent for a few seconds before she asked, "What?"

And her heart started to pound again, while a new panic washed over her, "Oh my god, I have to die first. I can't feel like this, ever again. If you die before me, if I have to live in the world without you in it… I don't think I could." That feeling was back, that terrible feeling, "I can't breathe, Calliope, I can't… I can't –"

"Arizona," her girlfriend's voice was firm in her ear, "Listen to me, okay? I am _not_ dying any time soon, and neither are you. We are going to be together, for a long, long time and be old, together." She got softer, "You'll get through this; we'll get through this."

Wrapping her arm around her legs again, holding on as tightly as possible, she clasped the phone to her ear as if holding it there was like holding Callie there. And her eyes just stayed glued to the name engraved on the headstone, and she didn't know why, but for the first time, she finally felt like she would get through it.

Taking in a deep breath, she whispered, "I think I'm going to come home soon."

Callie's breath left her in a rush, "I'm glad," she admitted.

Arizona was, too. She knew things were different now, but she knew that she wasn't going to find out how to keep going here. Tim saw and dealt with death all of the time and kept going. He wouldn't want her to be here; he would expect her to be back home, working, and being with Callie. It was where she belonged.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! Arizona is going to be back in Boston again next chapter, finally. Thank you for reading!**


	4. A Good Day

"Torres, get in my office. Now," Dr. Tamas, who was still the Chief of Surgery at Massachusetts General Hospital, practically growled at her.

Instead of feeling anxious or worried, she felt really, really irritated. Because she knew what this was about, and as soon as she had the doors closed behind her, she was fully prepared for what her boss was going to say.

Arms crossed, the older woman stared her down, "You promised a patient whose legs were crushed that he would walk. Why in the world would you make that promise?"

She and Tamas had butted heads since she first started working here, over three years ago. Because she had gotten denied entry to the program for no reason other than Tamas' personal bias of her family history and she hadn't forgotten that, and neither had the Chief. When Arizona had been working here, it was almost comical to see how differently Tamas viewed the two surgeons.

"Because I can do it!" she crossed her own arms, and they were in a faceoff. She wasn't backing down on this, and it was her fifth year. She'd done great work earlier in her residency, and she wasn't shy about admitting that. She was awesome. But how much more awesome was she going to be when she figured out how to _make_ someone else's bones?

She just had to figure out how she was going to do it.

The older woman rubbed her forehead, "Dr. Torres… you shouldn't be making promises like this to patients; do you understand how disappointed he's going to be when you're going to have to break it to him –"

Clenching her hands tightly into fists and digging them into her arms, she shook her head, "I can do this," she repeated, this time quietly. Determined. She could.

They kept eye contact for a few long moments, while Callie could feel her heart pounding in her chest and she briefly wondered what if she couldn't, before the Chief shook her head, "His abdominal surgery is planned for the day after tomorrow. If you can come up with a plan to operate with within that time, then you can do it. But if not, it's on you."

Clearing her throat, she nodded, "I understand," and her mind was already racing with possibilities. She awkwardly nodded, and started to turn to leave, only to be stopped by her bosses voice again.

"And you're not going to stay in the hospital tonight. You've been here for almost two days; go home," this order wasn't as harsh as her other words had been said.

The walk up to her apartment wasn't a good one. It wasn't what she had grown accustomed to feeling after the last three years after leaving the hospital and coming home. Sometimes she would feel accomplished, sometimes disappointed, sometimes… any number of things, but there had always been an underlying feeling of contentment she found in coming back to she and Arizona's home.

Even in the times where she and Arizona might have been in a fight or disagreement, home was always a place that she inherently wanted to be. But in the last month, since Arizona had come home from Virginia, coming home wasn't the same.

She knew Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' five stages of grief that people were supposed to go through after a personal loss. She saw patients and parents in every stage in the last five years while working. But Arizona, she had found, went through her own stages. There was the stoic stage, that had happened before Tim's funeral.

Then there was the anger/crying stage, that her girlfriend had been in when she had come home, and she had been in it for the following few days. Callie, in her mind, also called this the doughnut stage, because she was sure Arizona had eaten her weight in them. Then again, they were pretty much all her girlfriend would eat without Callie pushing them on her, so she had served as the doughnut supplier.

This was also when Arizona had actually spoken to her, telling her of the anger she felt at Tim, and how she felt guilty for being mad at him. Because she shouldn't be mad at her dead brother, for dying. Even though she knew he didn't want to die, she couldn't stop herself from just feeling so _angry_.

These were also the few nights where Arizona had woken up in the middle of the night, her heart beating so hard Callie had been able to feel it when she tugged the blonde back down into her arms. Her girlfriend had turned into her, hands pulling Callie tightly against her, while those blue eyes that she loved so much glassed over in tears, as she just ran them over Callie's face, then closed them tightly, even though that didn't stop her tears from rolling out, down her cheeks. Neither of them had fallen back to sleep.

And then, the last stage was the burying yourself so deeply in work you could barely see out of all of the work you had lined up for you stage. Which Arizona was still in right now. When her girlfriend had gone back to work, two weeks after they had gotten the call, she had charts and surgeries galore to start working on. Taking two weeks off during her fellowship at one of the best children's hospitals in the nation, no matter what the reason, was bound to do that.

And, as she knew Arizona, she knew that her girlfriend wanted to bury herself in something that could take her away from what had been going on in her personal life. So, her girlfriend took that work in stride, and had since been at the hospital more than she had been at home.

So coming home usually meant to an empty apartment. Which was why, as she pushed her key into the lock, she was surprised to find that the door was already open. Eyebrows drawing together, she walked in, closing the door behind her, "Arizona?"

"I'm in the kitchen!" came her answer, and she followed her girlfriend's voice, putting down her purse as she went.

In said kitchen, she found a sight that was not one that she would have expected, even before the last month. Blonde hair was piled into a messy bun, and flour was on both of her cheeks as well as on the front of her shirt, and there was a wine glass on the counter with, what Callie could see was an almost empty bottle of wine, behind it.

As simple as that, that feeling she had been missing, that feeling that here was where she wanted to be, came rushing back, and she felt a smile tug at her lips, "What are you doing?"

"I'm making you dinner. And drinking," Arizona answered candidly, stepping sideways and gesturing at what she had been standing in front of. A frown came up onto her face, "I was trying to make pizza. Because we both love pizza, and we haven't had dinner together in a while. I should have just ordered, but the last time you made it homemade it looked so easy!"

That trademark pout that Callie had fallen in love with took up residence on her face and she felt her grin widen. She hadn't really been worried about _them_ in the last month, but she had been worried about Arizona. And for some reason, this assured her that both her girlfriend and their relationship was going to be okay.

Walking forward, she came to stand behind the blonde, resting her hands on slim hips, and looked over her shoulder at how her girlfriend had been trying to spread the dough over the pan, raising her eyebrows at all of the holes that Arizona had tried to patch up by ripping dough from other places, "You would think after six years together, you would have picked up on something," she teased.

"But why learn when I have you to provide for me?" she turned her head to ask, looking up.

Callie couldn't muster up a reply, as she lowered her head to capture Arizona's lips with her own, sighing when her mouth opened, tongues meeting. God, she really, really missed this. Missed coming home to Arizona, missed this closeness… just missed her. Her hands tightened on the blonde's hips groaning quietly as her girlfriend pulled back.

Her own tongue peeked out, running over her bottom lip, "You don't taste like you usually do. And it's not the wine." She knew the way Arizona tasted mixed with the wine she was drinking, as it was her alcoholic beverage of choice.

Arizona pointed her index finger towards a bottle that was shoved back a few feet. A bottle of Jack Daniels was against the wall, and she knew that her girlfriend must have gone out to buy it before coming home because it wasn't something they usually had here.

"Tim's drink of choice. I had two glasses of it, and I still don't get it. I didn't like it in my undergrad and I still don't," she made a face at the bottle as she spoke. "But Tim always bought a bottle on his first night back after a deployment."

That explained it, then. Moving her hands, and subsequently Arizona's hips, to the side, and stepping up to the counter to fix the mess of the dough, she nodded, unsure of where her girlfriend was going with that or what the drink meant, and all she asked as she reached over to the sink to wash her hands was, "I thought you were going to be spending tonight at the hospital?"

Well, that was what Arizona had told her via text message that afternoon, which was why, before Tamas ordered her home, she hadn't planned on coming.

As she rolled the dough back up into a ball, Arizona turned, leaning against the counter next to her, blue eyes tracking her movements, "I was there, until about two hours ago. And then I left."

Callie turned to look at her, her hands kneading the dough, and she leaned down, pressing her lips against Arizona's temple, pausing there for a moment to breathe her in, before whispering, "I'm just surprised to see you home, is all."

A frown came up on that face, and Arizona murmured, "I know. I've hardly… I haven't been me. I've been grouchy and distant and I think I've slept more at the hospital than at home. "

What she was saying was true; and she knew for a fact that out of the twenty-four days since Arizona had been home, based on their schedules, they should have had thirteen nights together; they'd slept in the same bed for three of them. And she had hated all of the other nights. But, "It's okay. I understand. You've been busy and it's only been a month since…" she trailed off because she still didn't like to say the words.

"Yeah," Arizona said quietly, her eyes focusing on that whiskey bottle for just a second before she shook it, "I was going to sleep there, again. But I wanted to come home tonight. I wanted to see you."

"Well, I'm glad. I wanted to see you, too," Callie could tell there was more to the story, but she let it go there as she quickly spread the sauce and cheese over the dough, sliding it into the oven before turning back to Arizona, who was looking into her wine glass, the crease on her forehead telling Callie that she was deep in thought.

Pouring herself a glass of wine, she walked back to Arizona, lifting her empty hand and swiping her thumb over her cheek, rubbing off the flour, before switching to the other one, "I've actually really wanted to see you."

A pale hand reached up and took hers, Arizona giggling slightly as she leaned forward on her tiptoes, nudging her nose against Callie's cheek, leaning back and smiling up at her, flour now right on the tip where she'd nuzzled into tan skin, "I think I got you earlier when we kissed."

Bringing their joined hands up, she rubbed them over Arizona's nose, the flour on their fingers as they fell back down, and then the blonde spoke again, her voice low, "I'm sorry I haven't been around, Calliope. It was just easier to stay at the hospital instead of here, where I always see the place in the hallway that we had to patch and repaint where Tim tripped and fell into it. And keeping myself there and busy, I didn't think about him so much –"

The brunette reached back, putting her glass of wine on the counter behind Arizona's back, then lacing their other hands together, "Sweetie, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

"But I want to – I just have to talk," Arizona said, taking a deep breath and looking up at her, "So, I worked. And it was easy, with catching up on everything. But then, when I went to nap in the on-call room, I couldn't sleep. And it wasn't because I kept thinking about Tim, the way I did before; it was because I really missed you. And I haven't just _slept_ with you in too long, and it's one of my favorite things."

Blue eyes flickered toward the whiskey again, before seeking hers out, "Then I realized that I didn't really think about him today, at all. Even when I had free time, I didn't think about him. Life just… goes on. And sometimes I feel like it doesn't make sense, how life goes on without such a big part of me here. But today felt like a normal day. I felt normal, again."

"So, you're toasting Tim, because life goes on?" she asked, trying to understand the route that Arizona's slightly intoxicated mind was taking.

The blonde nodded quickly, before she got that contemplative look on her face, "Am I making sense here?"

Feeling a chuckle come out of her throat, she bent down, pressing her lips against Arizona's, not moving back as she whispered, "Yes. Even if you're not, I know you. I know what you're talking about." Moving back just a breath, she leaned their foreheads together, "Losing Tim is always going to be here with you. And me. But there will be good days, and bad days. And today, you finally had a good day."

God, she was so freaking happy that Arizona finally had a good day. And the way those baby blue eyes lit up inches from her own, made her even happier.

"I finally had a good day," she whispered, closing her eyes briefly, before saying, "But because I wasn't constantly thinking about Tim, I thought a lot about you. And how we've barely seen each other. And how I missed your smile, because I can't see that through our phone conversations."

That smile broke out over her face, "I've missed yours, too." And she was so incredibly happy to see it again.

Arizona's breath washed over Callie's lips as she moved backwards, her eyes dropping to her lips before she licked her own, and her eyes came back to dark brown ones, a shade darker, "Do you know what else I've really missed?"

Callie's heart skipped a beat as a look she was so familiar with came across Arizona's face, and her voice was already lower of it's own accord, "I think I might be able to take a guess. But why don't you show me?"

"Mmm, why don't I?" Arizona breathed out before her hands tugged Callie forward, so quickly she didn't see it coming, and she moaned as the blonde's teeth bit into her bottom lip, then her tongue flicked out, running over where her teeth just were, and Callie instantly felt her body respond.

Her hands untangled from the blonde's quickly, slipping down and under the t-shirt Arizona was wearing. Her fingers stroked over the soft skin of her back, lightly, but only for a second, before she grasped the hem and started to pull up, "Yes, show me. Quickly."

Quickly, because the last time they had had sex was the night that they had gotten the phone call, and that was over a month ago. And it wasn't exactly like she could blame Arizona, because her world had gotten shaken up. But damn, she'd missed it; it was the longest they had gone without having sex in over three years. She _needed_ to feel Arizona against her, and with that in mind, she quickly slipped her hand underneath the waist of the yoga pants that adorned slim hips.

But before her hand could come into contact with the slick heat she craved to feel, Arizona's hand wrapped around her wrist and stopped her, both of them groaning and already breathing heavier, as the blonde shook her head, "Not here. I want – bed. I want to taste you."

Fuck, yes. As her core clenched tightly in response, she simply nodded. And then she paused, her eyes catching on the stove, "Pizza," she panted out, though she didn't really give a damn about the food; she just wanted that physical connection again.

Arizona's hand reached out, shutting off the oven, before slapping at the timer, which only had two minutes left, "Better cold," she whispered.

"Mhmm," she agreed, stepping forward again and reached her hands up to that hair, tugging out the bobby pins and elastic, then ran her fingers through the cool, soft hair, bringing their mouths back together, feeling an urgency inside of her that she hadn't felt before.

Pale hands dug into her hips, and she knew Arizona was feeling that same urgency, as she pulled her backwards. They stumbled toward their bedroom, one of Arizona's hands leaving Callie's waist as she threw open the door, coming back to tan hips to meet her other one and unzip and unbutton Callie's jeans, tugging them down.

Callie fell back onto the bed, kicking off her shoes as Arizona gave one final yank to her pants, pulling them off her feet and dropping them on the ground. Her own hands came down, pulling off her shirt, then her bra, falling back onto her elbows to watch as Arizona pushed down her own pants and underwear, and loving how just the sight of the blonde could make her even more aroused.

The blonde was on top of her in an instant, a thigh slipping between her legs, and Callie's hips rocked against it of their own accord, her wetness already coating the smooth skin, as Arizona's mouth latched onto her nipple, her tongue moving in circles, and then her teeth scraped against her, and Callie's head fell back, her hips working faster against Arizona's leg.

Even as the sensations her girlfriend was creating with her mouth and thigh hammered at her, making her mind grow blurry, she managed to slip her leg between the blonde's, thrusting upwards, and they both let out mirroring moans as she felt Arizona against her. Her girlfriend's forehead fell forward, onto her chest, while her hips rocked, creating a perfect rhythm with Callie's.

It had been a month, was all she could think. A full month since she had been against her girlfriend, felt her heat against her. She couldn't control the groans that were falling from her mouth, then a breathless grunt as Arizona pushed against her with even more pressure, her clit throbbing in response.

Trying desperately to try to speak, she rolled her hips and pushed her own leg against Arizona, whose tongue flicked out and over the tip of her breast again, "Yessss," she hissed out, then managed to pant, "I'm going – I – coming," she got out, the her hips starting to buck against her leg, her hands going down to grasp that toned butt.

But before she fell over the edge into the release her body was primed for, before her fingers could dig into that flesh she desperately wanted to feel, and then her groan was one of disappointment as Arizona shifted, her own breath coming in gasps, "I told you – I want to taste you."

Before she could say or do anything else, Arizona moved down her body, her lips pressing to Callie's inner thigh against the place that she always kissed right before, "Yes!" the word ripped from her again as her back bowed practically off the bed, those perfect, pink lips wrapping around her clit just briefly before leaving her, and then that tongue dipped down, collecting her wetness on her tongue.

Her hand slid into blonde hair, then fisted into it, while her thighs already started to quiver on either side of her girlfriend's head. Within minutes, that so, so talented mouth had her back on the edge of what she was sure to be the world's most powerful orgasm. Forcing her eyes open, her breath shuddering in an out, she watched as she could see Arizona's hips moving, her thighs squeezing together.

As her center started to tighten, she was so fucking close, and Arizona knew it, and Callie could feel her fingers come up, moving over her slit, and then Callie used whatever self-control she could muster to shift upward, away from Arizona's mouth and her impending release.

"I – you, up here," was all she could manage to get out as dark blue eyes looked up at her in confusion, her lips wet from her, and Arizona nodded, crawling up Callie's body, and as she bent her head down, connecting their lips, where Callie could taste herself, two slim fingers slid inside of her.

Hips jumping, pressing against the blondes, she lifted her hand, scratching it down Arizona's side, before slipping it between them. Her fingers slid into her girlfriend, and they started a frantic rhythm, hips pushing in tandem with fingers, and she felt herself about to crash over the edge quickly, "Come with me," she panted against Arizona's lips.

Her girlfriend whimpered, nodding, "Yes – I need –" she cut herself off with a moan as Callie beat her to it, sliding her thumb up and working it over her clit. Within moments, they jerked against each other, shuddering, and Callie felt her eyes roll back, as she felt Arizona's walls clench around her and her own pleasure rolled through her.

It was Arizona's voice that spoke out as she felt her giggle against her, "That was really, really great."

Callie's breath was still shallow, as that feeling of her body receiving the best satisfaction melted through her, "I would say that qualified as magnificent."

She brought her hand up, brushing through that blonde hair as Arizona rolled slightly, so she was half on Callie and half on the bed, her head resting on Callie's shoulder. Her hand came up and touched the ends of her hair as Callie played with it, "I need a haircut."

Her hand paused, fingers weaved through it, loving the feeling of the soft locks shifting between her fingers. Arizona's hair had gotten longer than the shoulder length style her girlfriend kept it at since… forever – or as long as she had known her, seeing as how she hadn't gone to get it's normal trim in the last month. Callie moved her head back a little bit, taking in the way her hair fell now, brushing down over the tops of her breasts, "I like it."

Arizona raised an eyebrow, "You do? I've been too preoccupied so I haven't gotten it done… but you like it long?"

Now continuing to move her hand through, she shrugged, "Yeah, I like it longer. I liked it shoulder length, but the change is good, too."

Arizona was quiet for a few moments, and she bit her lip, telling Callie that something was on her mind, even though she could tell even more when her girlfriend whispered, "Sometimes change is good."

She hummed in agreement, bringing her other hand up to rest between her girlfriend's breasts, closing her eyes for a moment, thinking about taking a small nap before getting up to get the pizza and possibly brainstorming the leg patient out loud with Arizona.

But her girlfriend's quiet words made her eyes flip open again, "I proposed. Kind of. I mean, I said I wanted to marry you," Arizona spoke softly, her breath warm against Callie's shoulder.

Turning her head, she met those bright eyes as her heart stuttered in her chest. Of course she could vividly remember the day of Tim's funeral – not only the funeral procession, but what had happened afterwards in his room, too. But she hadn't really taken Arizona's on the spot proposal any sort of seriously. She didn't even think her girlfriend was going to bring it up again, because… she had assumed it had been done in a time of sheer panic. Arizona had been ripping her clothes off while hugging the flag to her chest, trying to breathe. She definitely didn't think anything was going to come of it.

"I, uh…" she didn't know what to say, so she just nodding like an idiot, "You did say that." Then she thought that this was Arizona trying to clear the air. After all, she knew that marriage was something Callie had wanted. Bending her fingers, she lightly scratched them against Arizona's chest, "It's okay. I know that was like the worst day, ever, and you were panicked."

But Arizona didn't look relieved. Instead, her eyebrows drew together, "No – well, yes, when I said it I wasn't in the best state of mind. But I think…" she swallowed hard, "I really do think it's something we should do."

The last time they'd discussed this was two years ago, at Callie's cousin's wedding. She and Arizona had flown to Miami, and even though Callie had expressly said anything to her girlfriend, she had been practically eaten alive with the want to have the ceremony and the reception, only for herself and Arizona. But she didn't have to say anything, because Arizona read her like a book, and they'd gotten into another of their many conversations about the topic.

At that point in time, it was their fourth time talking about it. And it still wasn't something Arizona wanted. Callie hadn't brought it up again afterwards because Arizona had been thirty, then. If she didn't want it by then, she wasn't going to keep pushing for it. Not when she'd slowly let it go over the years. By now, she'd just resolved that it wasn't something that was meant for them.

And talking about it right now brought back those feelings, those wants, despite telling herself not to feel like that. She shook her head, "Arizona… I –"

The blonde but her off, propping herself up on her elbow to look down at her, "I know you think this is because of Tim, but it's really not. Well, in a way, it is. But I just… him dying made me…" she licked her lips, bringing her hand up to Callie's jaw, "Sometimes, now, I get this fear. That when you don't answer your phone or when you go out that you're – that something happened to you. And if something did happen, Callie, how would I know? If you got brought to the hospital, for any reason, and you couldn't call me, I wouldn't know. I don't have any _legal_ rights to you or information about you, and –" this time she cut herself off, taking a deep breath through her nose to calm herself.

And Callie took that as her opportunity to talk, lifting her own hand up to take Arizona's, pressing a kiss to the palm lightly, before speaking, "Should we just get married because of that, though? Arizona, when I used to dream of getting married, of course, all of those bonuses went into it. But… I don't… that's not why I want it to happen. I want you to want to get married for the reason that you simply want to be married to me. And if I did get brought to the hospital, I would be brought to either Mass Gen or Brigham and Women's, and we know people at both places. You would know," she promised.

Arizona's eyes narrowed at her, "Calliope, you've wanted to get married for years, and now that I want to talk about it, you don't want it? Who cares about the reason why? Which, by the way, mine is completely legitimate."

Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against Arizona's quickly before turning and rolling off the bed, "I'm going to get the pizza. And I told you, Arizona. It's like you've told me, several times before – we're going to be spending our lives together either way. And just like I've told you before – I do want to get married to you, but because you want it, too. Only because you want the wedding and marriage because of the wedding and the marriage."

Grabbing her robe off the back of the door, she could feel Arizona glaring at her as she escaped into the kitchen, and she knew that the look on her face was saying that they weren't done talking about this.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and opinions so far. And we've circled back to the marriage discussion... hmm. Thank you for reading!**


	5. The Proposal

_Now _

Arizona was on a mission. And it currently wasn't going so well.

"Crap," Arizona wheezed out, seeing that the apartment door was slightly ajar, meaning that Callie as already inside. She was gasping for breath as she continued running down the hallway, heading for the door. The elevator had been stopped on the eighth floor when she'd entered the building, and after only waiting for five seconds to determine whether or not she had enough time, she chose to take the stairs because she just didn't have enough time to spare.

She was positive she had never run up the stairs faster, but she had to beat Callie to their apartment. For the last few weeks she had been on a mission, and it was all culminating into tonight. And now her girlfriend was going to ruin it, because she was already inside.

Slamming the front door behind her, she called out, "Call-" breathe, "Iope!" be continued down the hall.

Her girlfriend was standing with her hand on the doorknob to their bedroom, and she gave her a wide eyed look of confusion, "What are you doing here? I thought I was supposed to meet you guys out?"

Leaning over slightly, she braced her hands on her knees, panting in and out, "You – were." Damn, she needed to take the stairs more. A few seconds later, when she thought she had finally managed to catch her breath, she stood up straighter, "You were supposed to meet us at the bar but instead, Alex said you were coming home. Why are you at home?"

She relaxed slightly when her girlfriend's hand dropped off the doorknob, as Callie answered her, both of her eyebrows drawn down in confusion, "I wanted to change. Alex already made it to the bar? That was quick."

Arizona shook her head, the blonde curls she'd carefully done to perfection in preparation for tonight bouncing on her shoulders. Damn it, she realized they'd gotten messed up on her run back to the apartment, "He texted me."

Now Callie's eyes roamed over her body, as if the way Arizona's hands had just touched her curls drew her attention, "You look really nice for a night out at the bar."

Her hand fell down to her side, tugging lightly at the smooth fabric of her red dress. She knew that Callie loved this dress, and she also knew that it highlighted her ass, which was her girlfriend's favorite feature. And there was a reason she was wearing it tonight, and that reason wasn't because they were going to simply be spending the night at the bar.

The heels she'd been wearing were also a pair of Callie's favorites, as her girlfriend said they made her feet look sexy, when she'd first worn them almost a year ago. Feet didn't even look sexy, in Arizona's opinion, but her girlfriend had determined that hers did, and when she scraped her teeth over the inside of Arizona's ankle, she'd been willing to give in to whatever Callie was saying. The heels in question were in her hands now, as she'd run up the stairs barefoot.

Then the appreciative look that had lit up those dark eyes disappeared as Callie looked up at her face, and Arizona could read the suspicion, "Why do you look so nice for a night out at the bar?"

Keeping the hope alive in her chest that she could salvage what she'd had planned for the rest of the night, she tried to smile, "No reason. I just felt like dressing up. Now, why don't we head back out, together?"

She could feel herself blushing. _Why_ was she the world's worst liar? It made moments like this really difficult. People that she hardly knew were able to tell when she was lying; Callie could see it in an instant.

But the brunette didn't push her, instead she just raised her eyebrow, like she was telling Arizona that she knew something was up, and she pushed the door open to the bedroom, "Well, I'll just change real quick and then we can –"

Before she could take another step, Arizona dropped her heels to the ground and jumped forward, reaching her hands out in an attempt to stop Callie from taking another step, "Calliope, stop right there!"

It was the tone of her voice that made Callie freeze, then turn to look at her incredulously, "Should I put my hands up, too?"

"Yes!" she squeaked, running and reaching out, slamming the door to their bedroom closed, hopefully before Callie saw what was inside, squeezing herself between her girlfriend and the closed door, and planting herself there.

Now the taller woman lowered her eyebrows and narrowed her eyes, "Arizona Leigh Robbins, are you kidding me? What is going on?"

She felt her bottom lip poke out in a pout, and let her head drop in disappointment. It was too late to save what she had had planned for the night, and she just stepped to the side, feeling Callie's arm brush past her as she reached for the doorknob.

Her girlfriend flicked on the light then took in a sharp breath, "Arizona, what the…" she trailed off, her mouth opening and closing several times before she blindly reached to the side, her hand seeking out Arizona's, then clasping tightly, pulling her closer so the blonde was also pulled into the doorway as she just gestured at the room.

Blue eyes lifted as she squeezed Callie's hand with hers. Her mission to sweep Callie off of her feet with her proposal tonight: failure.

It had taken her weeks – twenty days, to be exact – to have all of this fall into place. And in one fell swoop of the bedroom door opening because of one little thing that she hadn't planned on, the last twenty days of planning fell apart right in front of her face.

It was twenty days ago, that she and Callie reconnected. Twenty days since she felt normal again – or what she thought was the new normal. Twenty days since she had expressed her serious interest in getting married only for her girlfriend to disagree with her.

_Twenty days ago_

Callie was absolutely correct about the look that Arizona gave her that night as she left the bedroom; they were not done talking about the topic of marriage. In fact, as Arizona's eyes bore into her girlfriend's back as she left their room to get their dinner, she was completely certain that they were far from done with the topic.

As she heard Callie moving around in the kitchen, Arizona let her arms collapse under her, blonde head hitting the pillow as she stared up at the ceiling. This had been on her mind since the words had first slipped out, a month ago. But she hadn't been in the right place to bring it up again, not since then.

And now that she did, she was completely baffled at Callie's response. She _knew_ her girlfriend wanted to get married, even though they'd sort of brushed the topic under the rug for the last few years. A part of her – in fact, a really, really large part – thought that Callie would have been excited.

Even though she hadn't planned on bringing it up right at that moment, it was the first time in a month that she had felt completely at peace. There, in their bed, with Callie's arm around her, her hand playing with her hair. Their bodies still just faintly sweaty from sex – super sex, that satisfied the connection that she'd been missing – and all that dark hair still up in a messy ponytail that she had meant to pull out, but her hands had been busy elsewhere.

Her heart didn't feel heavy, and she watched her girlfriend's deep brown eyes close slowly, and she just felt like it was the right time to bring it up again.

And the reaction she'd gotten was far less than pleasing, which she just couldn't wrap her mind around. Bringing up her hands, she ran them over her face before rolling out of bed and grabbing the thin robe that had been hanging next to Callie's on the back of the door. Slipping it on, she made her way out into the kitchen, crossing her arms as she watched strong forearms quickly move over the pizza with the cutter.

Her movement caught Callie's eye, and her girlfriend turned to face her with a small smile, "Hey, I was going to bring the pizza in to you."

Blue eyes narrowed, "I don't want pizza!" Callie lifted her eyebrow at her just as her stomach rumbled a bit, and she ran her hand down, cursing her own body, "Okay, I do want pizza, but I also wanted to keep talking about, you know, marriage."

Callie sighed, resting both hands on the counter, dropping her head a little bit, that messy dark hair falling almost mesmerizingly slow over her shoulders, "Arizona… it's not only that. A wedding proposal shouldn't be just a logical next step. Or at least, I don't want mine to be. It should be… foot sweeping," she said, making Arizona stare at her.

"Foot sweeping?" she asked in confusion. What in the world did that even mean?

"Like, sweeping someone off their feet. Foot sweeping," the Latina elaborated with a shrug, then let a few moments go by in silence, "And I need to know that it's something _you want_. Not just an offshoot or a reaction to everything that's happened. I can't –" she cut herself off with a deep breath, closing her eyes.

A few seconds went by, as Arizona waited for Callie to continue, even though she wanted to talk, herself.

Finally, her girlfriend went on, "I want to get married to you, Arizona. I do and I always have. I would love to make what we have official. But if I just agreed to it, right here and now, and you regretted it somewhere along the line, if you woke up and realized it wasn't what you really wanted, but was coming from just your fear of losing me, then what?"

Her mouth opened to answer, but Callie beat her to it, "Then you would go through with the wedding, for me. Because I know you, and after you already proposed to me, then you wouldn't take it back because you would know how much it meant to me. You love me that much."

Her heart felt like it had deflated, because she could just _feel_ that she wasn't going to regret proposing to Callie. And, of course, the brunette was right, and even if she did, she would get married anyway. But the point was, the idea of marriage didn't frighten her. When she thought about it, whenever she'd thought about it in the last month, it didn't give her a feeling of nervousness.

It made her feel strangely happy, like it was right.

Callie stepped toward her, her hands coming out and brushing Arizona's hair, which had gotten mussed from Callie's hands earlier, behind her ears, her lips brushing softly over the blonde's, eliciting that feeling low in her stomach that she got whenever they kissed, whispering, "And I love you too much to agree to something that you might not really have thought through." Her teeth nipped into Arizona's bottom lip lightly before she pulled back, "Now, let's have this pizza."

She stared at her girlfriend's back, and set her jaw. This was something that she wanted, and this was _right_, for her and for them. She just had to find a way to do it in the foot sweeping way Callie deserved to prove it to her.

_Ten minutes ago_

"Arizona, you look gorgeous. I don't think Joe's has ever seen someone look so great," Addison said to her as they slid into their table.

"Thanks," she looked down at herself and her dress, then around the bar that was filled primarily with med students, "I've never felt so out of place here before."

The redhead nodded with a laugh, "Well, it's been a while since we've been here. For the record, I think it's a perfect idea."

She'd consulted Addison with her proposal plan for the last few weeks, and for what it was worth, she thought it was going to work out perfectly. Which did give Arizona confidence in her plan to sweep Callie off her feet.

Though she and Addison hadn't started out with the best start, and for the first two years of she and Callie's relationship, things were… tense between them, they'd become nearly as good of friends as Addison and Callie were, now. The base of their friendship had primarily been cemented the year that Callie went to Hopkins. Even though Alex had become a great friend to her, she had desperately missed her girlfriend. Addison also missed Arizona's girlfriend. And hanging out together, somehow, made them both feel like a different part of Callie was there during all the months that she wasn't.

Even as butterflies flew in her stomach, she felt herself smile. Foot sweeping good, that's what tonight was going to be. She stared at the phone in her hands, as Alex – who was still at Mass Gen to complete his residency in plastics – was going to be coming with Callie to Joe's and making sure she got there to kick start Arizona's plan.

As it buzzed with a new text from him, she expected to see something like, _We left the hospital, on our way_. Instead, she saw, _Mayday, mayday. Torres told me she has to go home and change and that she'd meet me at Joe's._

Her eyes widened, and it was enough for Addison to notice, as she redhead leaned forward, "What? What's going on?"

"Oh, god," she whispered, her heart starting to pound in her chest, "Callie's going to the apartment." Her head snapped up to Addison's, "She's going to see the bedroom!"

She snorted at first, "Of course, Karev can't do his part of the plan right." Then she realized what Callie was going to find in the bedroom, and her eyes also widened, her own voice sounding panicked, "Go! Stop her! I've got the drinks. Go, go!"

So, she went.

_Now_

"Arizona, I – what is all this?" Callie's voice was low, surprised, as she looked around the room that Arizona had painstakingly set up after her girlfriend had gone to her last shift.

Her shoes clanged to the floor, feeling frustrated with both herself and her girlfriend and just at the night in general – this wasn't how it was supposed to go. With a heaving sigh, she ran her hand through her hair, ruining it even more, "This wasn't what was supposed to happen tonight."

Those big, dark eyes stared at her, before sweeping over the room again, then came back to her, clearly still waiting for an explanation.

Biting her lip, blue eyes took the journey that Callie's just did, and she shook her head, "I wasn't going to…" a frustrated grunt worked out of her, "I had a whole plan. You and Alex were going to meet me and Addison at Joe's, and I was going to come with you to order drinks right in the exact spot where we first met. And then I was going to tell you that I wanted to go on a walk, and you were going to come with me."

"I was," Callie whispered faintly, her eyes following Arizona as she started to pace, slim hands tangling together in front of her.

"You were," she confirmed, "And I was going to walk down to Boston Commons, past the pond where I took you ice skating on our first date, and we were going to come out near the coffee shop, and then we were going to loop around, past the movie theater and Cheers, where you took me on our second date, and then on our way back home, we were going to go past my old place _and_ your old place, where we both first said I love you."

She saw it all in her head, the way she planned it all out, "And each place we walked by, I was going to give you a little envelope that has all different reasons of why I fell in love with you," she looked around, wondering if she could give them to her girlfriend now, then a frustrated groan worked it's way out of her throat again, because the envelopes were in her purse, which she just realized was still with Addison at Joe's.

Rolling her eyes at herself, she continued, "And while we were gone, Addison was going to come up here and light all of the candles and sprinkle the rose petals," she gestured around them to all of the unlit candle holders, and the large box on their dresser that was filled to the brim with rose petals, "I got rose petals, Calliope! Rose petals!"

Those brown eyes were so large, they were almost eating up her girlfriend's face as she repeated, "You got rose petals."

Looking up, she saw the look on Callie's face, her eyes wide, and just so full of this _love_ that she loved, "I want this, Calliope. I want _you_, forever, and I know that you know that. I'm so in love with you that just being in the same room with you makes me happier. Which is why I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm telling you, because there is no way I'm letting you walk out of here tonight without agreeing to marry me. You told me before that you dreamed of a beautiful wedding and marriage, because of what it means. That there would be someone who loved you no matter what. And I love you, no matter what."

Damn, she hadn't meant to just _tell_ her that they were going to get married; the words just slipped out. But now that they hung in the air between them, there was no way she could take them back. And regardless, they were true. Her heart pounded against her ribs as she waited for Callie to do or say… anything.

And then she started to, and Arizona could tell that she was searching for the words to say,  
But _your_ dream was to –"

Then she cut her off, shaking her head and stepping forward, holding up her hands, "My dream – beyond being a surgeon – wasn't even defined until I met you. You know how I was, after Joanne; I didn't think I was going to fall in love ever again, and I really didn't want to. But then I fell in love with you, and you changed everything. And no, marriage wasn't on my agenda, even after I fell in love with you, and I know you've been so resistant because –"

"Arizona –"

But she was on a roll now, and she couldn't stop. Reaching up, she placed two fingers lightly over those full lips, "No, let me explain. You've been so resistant, because you think it was just Tim's death that brought this all on, but it's not. Yes, it opened my eyes to all of the practical aspects and benefits, but that's not the only reason I want to be married to you. At the end of the day –"

"Arizona –" Callie's lips moved under her skin, sending shivers through her, even as she pressed them down more firmly.

"Calliope… at the end of the day, we've been together for six years, and I fall in love with you more every single day. You said you want your wedding to be about our relationship, and it would be. I don't believe in god but I do believe that we were made for each other. If that's not reason enough for us to get married, then I don't know what is," she paused to take a deep breath, because she didn't know exactly what she was going to say next, but she knew there was more.

"Arizona!" Callie's voice was loud, and her hand came up, taking pale fingers away from where they were pressed against her face, as her breathing was coming fast and heavy and they stared at each other, blue eyes desperately searching into dark brown.

She didn't think that she was going to be nervous. In fact, she hadn't thought nerves would be a problem at all, because even though most people regarded proposing as a nerve wracking thing, she wasn't most people. She and Callie weren't most couples. They were – they were them. They'd been together for years, their relationship survived insecurities, differing dreams, family problems – even deaths – job stressors, and a yearlong four hundred mile distance.

A proposal wasn't anything to be nervous about.

But as Callie stared at her, eyes wide and her breathing shallow, Arizona felt nervous. Her palms were sweating and she pulled her hand away from her girlfriend's, missing the warmth even as she rubbed them up and down the sides of her hips, her throat now feeling suddenly dry, "Callio-"

"Yes," Callie breathed out, her voice so low Arizona thought she might have been imagining it, even as her heart skipped a beat.

"Yes?" she repeated, her hands now starting to shake as a smile spread across her face. When Callie nodded, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, "Yes!" Now her heart started pounding in her chest, and she turned away, stumbling just a bit as she rushed to the dresser, where she had stashed the ring a few hours ago in preparation.

She pulled out the box, a finger running over the top lightly before she turned around, her stomach swarmed with a different kind of butterflies now, "I, um, I found this for you two weeks ago. But I had to get it resized."

Callie's voice was quiet and sounded a little choked, coming out in a whisper, "You got me a ring."

Now Arizona lowered her eyebrows as she walked back over to her girlfriend, "Of course I got you a ring, Calliope. When I told you I wanted to get married, before, I didn't do it right. But tonight, I was going to do it right."

She flipped open the box and when she got back to standing so close in front of Callie that she could feel her breath shudder out of her. Both sets of eyes were locked on the ring, a thin white gold band, centered with a princess cut diamond. She'd immediately thought of Callie when she saw the ring, and she knew that she was meant to get it for her. It was just calling to her.

Her eyes didn't leave it until the warm breath washing over her face hitched, and she snapped her gaze up to see Callie quickly bring her eyes up to wipe at her eyes, her voice raspy, "I – I'm not. I don't know why I'm crying."

Arizona didn't know why, either, but she felt like she wanted to, too, as Callie continued, "I just… I love you. I'm so in love with you, but I shouldn't be crying, because we were going to be spending our lives together a day ago, an hour ago. And now we still are, so I shouldn't…" her eyes trailed down and fell on the ring again, "I really, really love this ring."

As quickly as she could, laughing a little bit at herself as her hands shook slightly – because she could perform surgeries on the tiniest humans on the plant with rock steady hands, but as she pulled out the wedding ring to slip onto her girlfriend's finger – she took Callie's left hand, swiping her thumb over the soft tan skin on the back of it, before sliding it down.

And it looked really, really perfect. While one of her hands held up Callie's, her other came up to brush over the ring, "It loves you, too. And so do I."

Those dark eyes that she loved, so, so much, were glued to where their hands touched, "So, you're sure about this?"

She couldn't help but roll her eyes, "Yes, Calliope. Yes. I do want the practical stuff that marriage brings… but I also want to sweep you off your feet. And the fact that I can still do it after six years is probably a good sign, right?"

Her breath left her in a rush as Callie pulled her tightly to her body, both of those strong hands tunneling into the hair at the base of her neck, and she loved the feeling of the cool metal against her skin. Callie's breath tickled Arizona's lips, "Yes. It's an excellent sign. You're amazing."

Then those lips crashed against hers, and they let out duel moans. Her hands slid down to grasp Callie's waist, fingers digging in while her thumbs swiped against her skin. Just as Callie's hands slid down, her back, on their familiar path to her ass, she pulled back just a little bit, so she could say the words out loud, "We're getting married."

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! Thank you so much for your thoughts and opinions, and thank you for reading!**


	6. Worst Sister and Daughter Ever

Callie was struggling to wake up from a deep sleep. The kind of deep sleep that took nearly a train wreck to pull her out of it. The kind of sleep that was so deep, it felt dreamless and endless. The kind of sleep that could only be brought on after a night of long, luxurious, achingly good sex.

Arizona's hand rubbed over her back, scratching her nails down her spine, in a way that made her shudder and sigh in content, even as her eyelids remained closed. She wanted to go back to that sleepy place. Instead, when the blonde's hand reached the back of her neck, it didn't trail back down the way Callie hoped it would, but left her body, as her fiancée put her phone against her ear, "Calliope, Aria's been calling you for like ten minutes. Wake up."

Groaning, she kept her eyes closed, "Aria?"

"Callie! Fucking finally!" her sister practically screeched in her ear, now making her eyes snap open, her hand coming up and pulling the phone away from her face just a little bit.

Lifting her other hand, she rubbed at her eyes, yawning, blearily looking at the clock on the end table on the other side of Arizona, groaning again, "Aria, it's eight in the morning. On our day off. What the hell couldn't wait a few more hours?"

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds before her sister said slowly, "So… I'm going to take it that you and Arizona both forgot what day it is?"

"Uhh, Tuesday?" right? Yes. It was definitely Tuesday.

Aria hummed in the way like she was speaking to one of her kids, who were on the cusp of figuring something out, "Yep, but _what_ Tuesday?"

"Tuesday, the…" Her mind was working slowly, muddling through the leftover fogs of sleep, trudging through the important dates she had in her memory.

Pushing herself up onto her knees, she looked down at Arizona, who was lying on her back, her arm over her eyes to block out the incoming sun. Moving the receiver away from her mouth, she brought her hand down and stroked it over the exposed skin of her stomach as the sheet was kicked down, "Babe."

When that arm moved just a little and a blue eye peeked open at her, "Hmm?"

"What's today? What's important about today?" she whispered in hopes that Aria couldn't hear her, even though she already knew that her sister knew she was forgetting something important.

"It's… November twenty-fourth. I don't know, is it Gabby's birthday?" Arizona whispered back, now pushing herself up to sit against the pillows, her forehead crinkled in thought.

But Callie shook her head, "No, that's next week." She knew it wasn't her sister or brother-in-law's birthdays. Dani's birthday was in the summer, so was Julian's. Aria and Felix's third and youngest child, Gabrielle, was three and turning four on the thirtieth. And she knew it wasn't any sort of anniversary. And it wasn't a holiday.

Her eyes widened, "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. It's the Tuesday before Thanksgiving."

Both of Arizona's hands came up to push back her tousled hair, "So?"

Callie's attention was brought back to her sister when she heard Aria chuckling, "I'm glad you've finally remembered. Just so you know, we're all at the hotel. And luckily for you, we got in at the same time as Barbara and Daniel so we gave them a ride to the hotel, too. But I figured, since you weren't at the airport to get them, that you two might need a wakeup call to remind you that we're all supposed to be meeting for brunch in a few hours."

Her sister was absolutely right; neither she nor Arizona remembered that their families were flying in today for the long weekend. And they definitely weren't going to be up and out for brunch by the ten o'clock time they had made plans for almost a month ago.

Nonetheless, she forced herself to scoff, "We totally remembered. We just assumed you were all self-sufficient enough to get yourselves to the hotel."

Aria was still laughing, "I bet. We'll see you soon," she sang into the phone, "Don't fall back asleep or I'm coming over and bringing the kids, and they'll attack you."

Thinking of the eleven, seven, and three year old children, she rolled her eyes, "Sounds really scary, but I bet Arizona and I could take them."

She flinched as a pale hand reached out and hit her leg, "Calliope! Don't say things like that. The last time I tried wrestling against Dani and Julian when we went to visit them last year, they kicked my butt."

"Listen to your girlfriend. Trust me on this," Aria advised, then called something over her shoulder before returning to their conversation, "All right, so we'll see you guys at ten?"

Responding in kind, she ended the call and dropped the phone onto the sheets, "We forgot that we had seven people coming to have Thanksgiving with us." And even though she felt like an idiot, she couldn't help but laugh.

Arizona groaned and covered her face with her hands, "How could we forget that?"

The way the ring on the blonde's finger glinted as the sun hit it made Callie's smile melt into one that she was certain was sugary, sappy, gooey sweet. But she couldn't help it. Shifting so that she slung one knee over Arizona's waist, she bent down to press a kiss to the metal, "I think I know how we forgot."

_Last night_

All right, it was show time, Callie thought, as she heard the elevator doors slide open, and she stood up straighter against the front door she was leaning against, "Welcome home from work, beautiful."

The blonde head that had been bowed as Arizona had been digging into her purse, searching for her keys whipped up, and a confused smile played on her lips, "Why are you outside… did you lock yourself out again?"

Her own grin came up to her lips as she shook her head, "No…"

Those blue eyes narrowed playfully at her, "Oh, really? Because you often find yourself sitting outside of our apartment – also subjecting yourself to the peering eyes of McCreeperson – for fun?"

Callie rolled her eyes, "McCreeperson? I told you that makes us sound like we're thirteen. You need to start hanging out with an older crowd," she teased, her eyes falling on the apartment door across from theirs.

McCreeperson was the guy who lived there. He was maybe a few years younger than they were and had been a fairly average, friendly guy, for the first month that he lived here. Then he might've been leaving his apartment one night and had opened his door just as Callie and Arizona had entered their own apartment, already locked in a kiss that was leading them straight to their bedroom. Now all he did whenever he saw either of them was just… stare.

At her words, Arizona dropped her eyes back to her purse, her hand dipping in to pull out her keys, "An older crowd," she parroted in a mumble, her voice laced with fatigue.

Reaching out her hand, she took that pale hand in hers, and when her fiancée's eyes lifted back up, she could see the utter exhaustion in them. It wasn't just about the lack of sleep, but emotionally and mentally exhausted as well. In the last ten days since Arizona had proposed, their celebration had been very minimal.

Mostly because a trial that her fiancée was starting to work on with Dr. Krasner with an experimental procedure with children who had liver failure had really started picking up the day afterwards. And since then, Arizona had been at the hospital nearly constantly, running labs and doing workups. When she was home, there was a lot of research to be done. That, coupled with Callie's own work schedule, didn't leave for much extra time.

Except tonight. Callie was determined to make this a good night, with so much needed Callie and Arizona time. Not only because she'd missed her woman, but because there was a pressing matter for her to attend to.

Lightly, she plucked Arizona's keys from her hand, taking them into her own, "I'm not locked out," she said again, then opened the door.

Lacing their fingers together, she tugged lightly, urging the blonde to follow her inside the doorway, then smiled as she felt Arizona's pinky move up and down just a little bit, rubbing against her ring. God, she really loved this ring; taking it off for the surgeries she'd had scheduled since Arizona proposed nearly killed her, every time.

Then she dropped her hand to step behind Arizona, lifting her hands up to place them over blue eyes, whispering in her ear, "No peeking."

Even though she couldn't see Arizona's face, she _knew_ that killer pout was on her lips, "Calliope, I don't want any surprises."

Pressing a light kiss to the shell of her ear, she lightly flicked her tongue out, making her shiver, "Just keep your eyes closed until we get to the living room. Then you can open them."

A sigh left those pink lips as she acquiesced, "Fine."

And Callie peeked around to make sure those bright blue eyes were shut tight as she lowered her hands. When she was sure Arizona wasn't looking, she reached down and took her purse and set it down, before sliding off her jacket, saying as she went, "And I think you might like this surprise more than the one Addison was trying to set up. She wanted to throw us a party."

In fact, Callie wasn't entirely adverse to an engagement party. But she knew that Arizona definitely wasn't going to want to deal with a surprise party, nor a big gathering at all right now, especially with how draining the trial has been. She rested her hands on that slim waist, and leading them forward, chuckling as Arizona said, "Well at least I know it's not a surprise party."

When they came to stand in the living room archway, she took a moment to survey her handiwork, her stomach fluttering in excitement as she rubbed her thumbs against Arizona's lower back, noting the tension and the way she arched into the touch, "Open your eyes."

She reveled in the way the blonde's breath audibly caught, and Callie watched the way her fiancée took in what she'd set up. Her mouth hung open for just a few seconds before those eyes narrowed and she turned to look Callie in the eye, "Did you _steal_ my proposal plan?"

Laughing, she looked around the room, to see all of the candles she'd lit, along with all of the rose petals she'd scattered around the middle area of the room. On the walls, she had hung up various pictures and note cards, and she felt very self-satisfied, "I might have… All right, I was going to steal the whole idea because it was too good to let it go to waist, but then you called and –"

"And I was stuck at the hospital. So you did it here," Arizona put together, and started walking in the direction of where Callie had printed out a picture of Joe's and put it up, surrounded by a list of things that had happened there for them and it's significance.

Coming up behind her, she said, "I was going to give you envelopes with letters in them, too, but you're better with writing down words and making them sound good than I am." Trailing her fingers up her fiancée's sides, then back down again as Arizona started to take the tour of their relationship that she'd set up inside of their apartment, she followed just a foot behind.

But before she got too far, she reached out and pulled her to a stop, "Just because I don't have envelopes for you doesn't mean this is it."

She knew Arizona was going to try to turn and look at her, so she kept hers on the blonde's shoulders, rubbing at the tense muscles there as they stood in front of her representation of Joe's. Bending her head so her mouth was level with her ear, the blonde waves that escaped Arizona's ponytail brushing against her cheek, "It was right here that I first saw you and I knew right away that I loved the way you look. I knew that you were the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on, and in six years, I still haven't ever seen someone that can measure up. In sixty years, you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Have you never seen yourself?" Arizona asked, turning her head so that their lips were just a breath's distance away.

Unable to resist, she leaned in and nibbled over the bottom one, before leaning back and reaching one of her hands down to lightly swat over the firm butt covered by dark jeans, "Shush, this is about you."

"This was my original plan!" Arizona's mouth fell open, "I can say whatever I want."

"Well, I hijacked it. Come on, before we miss our first date," she used her hands to guide them along, so they were standing in front of where she had set up the pictures of the Boston Common skating rink, "I hated ice skating –"

Even as Arizona tipped her head back to rest on Callie's shoulder, she pointed out, "You still hate it."

"Listen, Sassy Pants, I'm trying to be romantic here. I did hate it and, yeah, I don't want to go as a first choice activity _but_ I would have gone anywhere with you that night; I waited five months for that ice skating, and it was totally, completely worth it," she rested her chin on top of Arizona's head, but her fiancée spoke again before they could move along.

A slim finger reached out, tapping against one of the pictures, "And this is right where you fell on your butt."

Callie reached her own hand up and took Arizona's down, "Were you going to point out that memory when _you_ were making your romantic speech? Stop sabotaging mine," she teased, then shrugged, "No, I can work with that. Because right after I fell, I remember that you were so concerned about me. And I loved that."

As she started to move them along, Arizona commented, "I still hate when you fall. Every time you hurt yourself it's like I'm having a mini-heart attack."

"When I rolled off the bed the other day you didn't seem too concerned," she dipped her head down to whisper, "But that was probably because I made you come so hard you barely even knew what was going on."

And she loved the slow smile that came up on those lips and the way Arizona breathed out, "Yeah. You were fine."

Standing outside of where she arranged the coffee shop/bakery they often still frequented in the winter, the tapped her finger against the center picture, where the table they had sat at was visible through the window, "And it was right there that you told me about why you kept your heart so guarded and even though I didn't tell you then, _I_ knew that I wasn't letting you or your heart get away from me."

Moving them slowly along, she stood in front of the collage of where she had the movie theater, Cheers, and a picture of her and Arizona in the blonde's old apartment put together in one area, "This was the first date that I had planned for us. I wanted you to see how much I knew you, even when you spent so long trying to hide yourself from me."

"I thought I did a pretty good job for a while," Arizona said playfully.

Shaking her head, she traced her fingers over the picture of them that she'd found to hang up; they were standing in a position where she was behind Arizona, her hands around her waist, very much like they were standing now, "Sweetie, please. You broke your rules the first weekend you met me."

The sigh that reached her ears seemed to dance over her skin, "Clearly, I've never had any self-control when it comes to you."

"Thank god for that. And it was on your uncomfortable, lumpy black couch that I first told you that I love you, because I didn't have enough self-control to keep it in. Even though I thought I was going to scare you away… I had to tell you that I loved you because it just felt too strong to hold it in," she skimmed her hands down and under Arizona's shirt to rest them on the smooth skin of her hips.

As that slim body relaxed against hers, she nodded, "You did scare me. A lot."

"Luckily," she said, turning them so they came to the second to last station she had set up, of pictures of them in her old apartment, "You weren't scared enough to run away. And you stayed, and then you told me that you loved me, and that you were in this – us – and that you weren't going anywhere. That I couldn't get rid of you."

Now she made them walk in the direction of the path that the rose petals were scattered in, into the bedroom, as Arizona walked with her, their legs moving perfectly in-synch and pressed against one another's from thigh to calf, "And you couldn't ever get rid of me, right? Stuck like glue. Super glue."

"Mhmm," she responded, looking at their feet to make sure she got their exact positions right from ten days ago, "From that night on, even when I ever had doubts, even when I thought breaking up might be the best answer, you never even entertained the idea. And, god, I am so happy you never gave up on us, because you were right. We were made for each other."

The soft smile with those blue eyes seeming even deeper than usual as they were bright from the candles, Arizona lifted her arms up, wrapping them around her neck, "You do know that I already proposed, right?"

"Believe me, I haven't forgotten for a second. Which is why this is the last stop on Callie and Arizona's relationship tour. Because this is the spot there you told me you want to get married, and I love you so much. I love wearing this engagement ring, and _knowing_ that there is a physical reminder to everyone that we're together and that I'm yours." Reaching her hand into her back pocket, she pulled out the ring box, biting her lip, "I didn't know if you wanted to wear a ring. I know you said before that you don't really like rings all that much, but –"

Arizona's hands came up to touch Callie's, her fingertips touching the velvet as she nodded quickly, her smile bright and wide, "I want _your_ ring on me. I want people to be able to look and tell that I'm yours." She bounced up and down on her feet a little bit, "Let's open the box!"

Laughing, she flipped it open, "I got you gold, because it matches your necklace, just like mine matches my necklace. And I know you wouldn't want anything flashy, so I just chose a simple, round cut," feeling just the slightest bit nervous, she shrugged, "If it isn't the one you want, we could pick one out together."

"Shut up, Calliope, and put the ring on my finger," Arizona looked up at her, grinning that super magic smile, and she felt a mirroring one come up on her face.

Reaching down, she pulled the ring out of it's setting in the box, and slipped it onto her finger, "Perfect fit."

"Just like us," the blonde sighed, then giggled, "Was that too cheesy?"

Smiling, she brought her hands up and cupped Arizona's jaw, "Nah, I think for us that was just cheesy enough." As their mouths met, she deliberately kept their lips light and brushing over one another's, smiling at her fiancée's groan as she pulled away just as Arizona started to deepen the kiss.

The blonde pouted up at her, "What is this shenanigan?"

Unable to control her chuckle, she shook her head, "Shenanigans?" Stroking her hands up Arizona's back, she gently tugged out the elastic that was holding it up, then combed her hand through it, "Honey, you are exhausted. Your feet were dragging when you were talking off the elevator."

"So?" her eyes slid down to fixate on Callie's chest, just as her hands slid upwards, under the hem of Callie's shirt, "You woke me up. And I want you." Her voice lowered a notch as her palms came up to cup her boobs through her bra, "I had a dream about you last night, where I made you come, screaming my name."

And there went her resolve, crumbling like a sand castle against an ocean wave. Bye, bye. Swallowing hard, she lifted her own hands up, circling them around Arizona's wrists and pulling her hands away from her breasts as much as her body was yelling against the move.

Dipping her head, she sucked her fiancée's bottom lip into her mouth, gently running over it with her tongue before releasing, "You got me. But first I'm going to make you scream _my_ name. Right now is about you. Now, you need to get undressed."

Arizona's breathing was already shallow as she nodded, her hands coming down to pull up her own shirt before Callie stopped her, "Nope. My job. Arms up," she instructed unnecessarily, as the shirt was already discarded almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

As she reached her hands behind Arizona's back, easily unclasping her bra and sliding it down her arms, she reattached their mouths. Just as her tongue skimmed against her fiancée's, her hands came up and lightly pressed circles around her already hard nipples, swallowing the whimper that came from Arizona's mouth. Keeping one hand on that perfect breast, the rolled the tip just as her other hand slid down to undo her pants.

Trailing her other hand lightly down to join the first one, she felt Arizona shiver at the near-ticklish touch, then hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her pants and underwear. She slid them down, sinking to her knees in front of the blonde, urging her to lift one leg, then the other, and sliding them away.

Finding her face merely inches away from Arizona's center, she leaned in, pressing a light kiss to her mound, hearing the hitch in her breathing just as a hand landed on the back of her head. Giving into the light pressure, she scooted herself forward, pressing another kiss against the trimmed hair, smiling slightly as she heard Arizona's, "God, Calliope."

And even though this wasn't exactly how she'd been planning on taking her fiancée, she thought it was as good a way of any, and brought her hands up to her lithe hips, urging Arizona to rest back against the dresser they were next to. Sliding her hand down those toned runner's legs she fucking loved, she came to rest on her ankle, taking it and urging it over her shoulder, she moved her face forward and brushed her tongue out, making contact with a hard clit.

The hand on the back of her head fisted in her hair, and she flicked her tongue out again before moving her hand down to bring Arizona's other leg over her opposite shoulder, only to have the hand in her hair pull her back, the blonde looking down at her, "Can you…?"

"Yes," she breathed out, accepting her weight onto her shoulders and before Arizona could question it again, she slid her fingers up, dipping into wet heat. Bringing her mouth back in as the grip in her hair pressed her back, she wrapped her lips around her clit, sucking gently, as she slipped in two fingers, moving at a slow pace.

Lapping at her clit with her tongue, she hummed softly, and the way it made those hands in her hair clench made her core clench in response. She could remember sex before Arizona, and then she wondered how in the world she considered herself satisfied. She could feel Arizona's walls tighten around her slowly pumping fingers, and by the way the hand on the back of her head grasped so tightly and the "Ca-Cal-I-" strangled attempts at her name, she knew her fiancée was going to come quickly.

In a move she didn't even know she was capable of, especially as her own need was rapidly building, she stood up. The legs that had been thrown over her shoulders now wrapped around her waist. Arizona blinked open sapphire deep eyes in confusion, panting, her chest moving rapidly up and down, "D-don't stop. Please."

"I'm not," she promised, her own breath coming in gasps, as her hands slid under that tight butt, and adjusting so that Arizona was sitting on their bureau, immediately sliding her hand back down, dipping into that heat again, fingertips slipping in so easily, as Arizona tipped her head forward onto her shoulder, and Callie could feel her hot breath on her skin, the way her hips shook…

"I want to feel you," she rasped out, the hand that wasn't teasing her fiancée's dripping center wrapping around her hand and pulling her forward.

Arizona nodded against her, her arms coming up and tugging on Callie's shirt, "Skin," she managed to get out as she pulled up, hard. The brunette's shirt was off in seconds, and Arizona looped her arms up, around her neck, pulling in tight so their torsos pressed completely against one another.

As soon as she felt the blonde's fingers lock against the back of her neck, she slid two fingers inside, first moving slowly as she had been before. But as much as she loved hearing those shuddering gasps, she very much wanted to her a scream, and with that in mind, she increased the pace.

Pumping in and out quickly now, Arizona threw her head back, "Fuck! Yes!" her hips jerking as best they could with the angle against Callie.

The dresser hit the wall with their movements, and she could feel Arizona getting closer. Adding a third finger, she nipped her teeth into her sweat slicked neck, right under her ear, "Come on, baby. Come for me."

Arizona's mouth hanging open as her head fell back, grunts falling from her lips, urged her to go even faster, and as soon as she moved her palm to brush over her clit, her name fell like a prayer from the blonde's mouth. And then as Arizona's center tightened around her, making it nearly impossible for her to move, her name burst forth on the scream she'd been waiting to hear, every muscle in her fiancée's body tightening.

She stroked her hand down Arizona's back, feeling her shudder, as she waited until the blonde went completely slack in her arms before withdrawing her fingers and lightly running her nails up and down her inner thighs.

When Arizona caught her breath, she moved her hands up with surprising force, bringing their lips together, in a frenzy of teeth and tongue, and as she let Callie's bottom lip pop out from between her teeth, her hand dipped into her bra, "I'm really, really not too exhausted to make you scream."

_Now_

Arizona sighed, a lazy smile coming up onto her lips, "Oh yeah. I think I remember how we forgot, too."

Before Callie saw what was coming, she was on her back, Arizona's body covering the length of hers. Just before those soft lips touched hers, she turned her head, her eyes flew open, hands digging into hips that were already starting to rock down onto her, "Oh, god."

Undeterred by Callie's turning her head, she simple scraped her teeth against a tan earlobe, her words muffled against it, "I haven't even gotten started yet."

"No, no, wait," she pushed up as Arizona immediately stopped, a confused look settling over her face.

"What? Did I do something? I thought we still had two hours," she asked, blue eyes wide and imploring.

But all she heard in her head at the moment was Aria's words, saying _listen to your girlfriend_. "Oh, god," she groaned again, letting her head fall forward into her hands.

Arizona's hands tugged hers away, concern written all over her face, "Baby, what is it? Are you okay?"

"Aria. I fucking forgot to tell my sister that we were engaged!" she shook her head, just imagining how _pissed_ she was going to be. Aria called her the _minute_ after Felix proposed to her… she and Arizona had been engaged for ten days, "I'm the worst sister, in the entire world." Snapping her head up, she felt herself start to panic, "Shit, I hope your parents didn't tell her. She didn't sound like she was going to scratch out my eyes when we were on the phone."

Then she watched as all of the color drained from Arizona's face, "My parents. My parents don't know either. I'm the worst daughter in the world!"

Well. Brunch was going to be fun.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! Thank you for all of your feedback so far; every review makes me more motivated to keep writing and I love to know what you liked (or didn't like). Thank you for reading!**


	7. The Long Weekend

_Sunday _

All of the lights were off in the apartment when she opened the front door, despite it being only just past eight at night. Not bothering to muffle her own yawn, Arizona couldn't be more grateful. The long weekend was finally over; and it had been a _long_ weekend. And to cap everything off with the night she'd had at the hospital…

Well. What a night.

As soon as she entered the bedroom, it took her seconds to pull off her clothes and throw them in the hamper, not bothering to change into pajamas before she pulled back the blankets and crawled into bed, inching into the middle until her back was pressed against Callie, whose arm came to wrap around her stomach almost immediately.

Bringing her hand down, she ran it up and down the forearm across her chest before turning to face her, seeing those dark eyes blink open before she whispered, "Did everyone get on their flights?"

Callie's groan made her laugh, "Yes, finally."

Hooking her ankle around Callie's, she came in closer, so that the soft fabric of Callie's sleep shirt pressed completely against her stomach and she dropped her head down to her shoulder, "Don't take this the wrong way, but as much as I love Aria… I'm so, so glad she's going to be in Florida while we plan the wedding."

Her fiancée's answering chuckle seemed to float right over her skin, "Believe me, I know. But we both know she'll still be calling left and right."

With a sigh, she closed her eyes, "Calling is fine. Super fine, she can call all she wants. I swear, though, she already has our wedding halfway planned." Arizona brought her arm up, draping it over her, "What possessed us to decide to host Thanksgiving?"

She could just feel Callie shaking her head, "Nooo clue. Apparently we must think that we're superwomen. Surgeons. Chefs. Hosts. Brides."

Giggling, she pressed her lips against that tan throat, "Um, babe, we _are_ superwomen. Clearly."

Callie sighed heavily, wrapping her arm around Arizona's waist and pulling her as she rolled onto her back, "Oh, clearly, then. Where the hell are my tights?"

Running her foot up and down a smooth, bare leg, she shook her head, "You don't wear them. And instead of capes, we wear lab coats. And our scalpels and stethoscopes give us our super powers."

Callie rolled her eyes at her, "All right, I think you've thought this out too much."

Laughing, she put her chin on her chest and looked up at her face, "I'm pretty sure I've had the superhero conversation several times over with my tiny humans. I could go on longer."

The hands Callie had put on her hips stroked up and down her sides, "No, I think I get the picture." With a deep breath, she leaned her head back onto the pillow and closed her eyes. Arizona turned her head, resting her ear on her chest, and was just about lulled into sleep by listening to her heart beat before Callie spoke again, "Oh. And our dresses are going to be here within the month."

Arizona really wasn't sure if she was going to laugh or groan. Tuesday had sparked the beginning of their jam-packed weekend.

_Tuesday_

Brunch didn't go exactly the way they had planned.

Hand in hand, they walked toward the table they'd been directed to by the maître d', where Arizona could already see their family. Her parents were sitting on one side of the table, her father in conversation with Felix and her mother sitting with Dani chatting animatedly with her, while Aria sat on the other side of the table next to Julian, with Gabby sitting in a booster seat at the end of the table, between her parents.

Arizona stopped short, tugging Callie to a stop as well before they were spotted, her stomach jumping nervously, "So, what are we telling them, again?"

As they'd gotten ready this morning, they decided what they were going to tell their families who were unaware of their engagement. Callie chuckled, running her thumb over her knuckles, "Calm down. We're just going to wait until the end of brunch and then mention that it happened really recently. They're not going to question anything and it won't require you to lie about anything."

She rolled her shoulders like she was preparing to walk into a boxing ring and not a brunch with her family, "I know." But truth be told, she didn't just "forget" to tell her parents that she had proposed to Callie; she spoke to her mom almost every day, and even as the words of her engagement had formed in her mouth, on her lips, they just didn't come out.

Under no circumstances was she regretting proposing or the prospect of marrying Callie. But… in the last couple of weeks, as she had adjusted to the idea of getting married in the future, she felt guilty. Just a little niggling of guilt, in the back of her mind and in the pit of her stomach, that her brother was dead and here she was, two months later, moving on with her life. And her parents were just getting back on their feet.

Before they could say another word, Dani turned in her chair and spotted them, lifting her arm in the air and waving, which drew everyone else's attention toward them. Despite the many sets of eyes on them, Callie turned to face her, and Arizona could tell by the look on her face that she knew something was on her mind, "What else is going on?"

But she didn't want to tell Callie about her uncertainty and her slight bit of guilt because she didn't want her to misinterpret it and think she was doubting them. So she just shook her head, "Nothing. Just, they are going to be so surprised."

Even though Callie's eyes told her that she didn't quite believe her, Arizona squeezed the hand she was holding and she could feel the engagement ring against her skin, which made a real smile come up on her face. As her fiancée opened her mouth to say something, the voice next to them cut her off, "Aunties, what is taking you so long?"

Callie turned with a smile, bringing her hand down to rest on Dani's head, which now came up to her shoulder, "We were having a conversation, kid." Then the stern look on her face broke off, and she looped her free arm over her nieces shoulder, pulling her in to plant a kiss on the top of that dark hair that was pulled into a ponytail.

As soon as Dani disengaged from her, she moved to Arizona, beaming up at her – braces on full display – with her hands clasped behind her back, "Guess what?"

Looking down at her, though not that far down because Dani was nearly five feet tall, she felt the smile that was on her face grow even bigger, "What?"

"I got on the basketball team! And I beat the boys; I'm the best one," she confided in a whisper.

"Yes! I knew you would be!" she exclaimed, holding up her hand for a high five. Even though she loved Julian and Gabby, Dani held a special place in her heart. She just… reminded her of Callie so much that it was even a little bit strange, considering that they didn't spend all that much time together. Regardless, the last time they'd talked on the phone, Dani had told Arizona the problems she was having at school because she wanted to be on the middle school basketball team that was primarily made of the boys.

However, it was that holding up her hand for a high five that turned out to be the mistake. Dark eyes widened as her hands both came up and grasped the hand Arizona was holding up for a high five, "You have a ring!" The girl started to bounce up and down on the balls of her feet, looking back and forth between Callie and Arizona, "Does this mean you're getting married?"

It was as though her voice was the shot heard around the world, and all of the adults that had been talking feet away, turned to look at them, Aria's voice being the first to ring out, "You're getting married?!"

Callie's hand tightened on hers as they walked over to the table, and didn't manage to sit down as they were encased in hugs for at least five minutes. And as soon as they _were_ sitting, the questions started ringing out, from every which way,

"Does this mean I can be a flower girl?"

"Have you chosen a date?"

"Who proposed to who?"

"Can we see the rings?"

"When did you propose?"

"Where is the ceremony going to be?"

Everything was capped off with Gabby clapping her hands together and squealing, "Happy Thanksgiving!"

Overwhelmed, Arizona clutched Callie's hand in hers even tighter, comforted by the way her thumb continued to rub circles against her hand. Happy Thanksgiving indeed.

_Wednesday_

"So, you're going to be my aunt _for real_ now?" Dani asked as she walked up on the short, foot tall wall of brick that rose above the sidewalk they were walking down.

The eleven-year-old had begged both her parents and Callie and Arizona to sleep over her aunts' apartment instead of in the hotel the night before, and subsequently spent the night in their guest room. The night also reinforced the fact that they really, really weren't used to being quiet in their own apartment, and Arizona could still feel the spot on her shoulder that Callie had bitten down on to keep herself muffled.

Thankfully, they also had put on clothes after the fact, as Dani had walked into their bedroom early this morning. Now, while Callie was at work and they were walking to Aria's hotel to meet her for their plans for the day. Dani, her hair up in a ponytail that Arizona had had to help her with and she wondered how Aria managed to get her to sit still to style her thick hair every day, held her arms out on either side of her as they walked to keep her balance, as she looked at Arizona for an answer.

Nodding, she gave her a smile, "Yep, officially."

Dani's face lit up in a wide smile, "Good. I mean, when guys on the team ask who taught me my jump shot and I say my Auntie Arizona now I can just say that you're my Auntie Callie's wife. It sounds better than girlfriend, anyway."

With a laugh, she agreed, "You're right, it does."

"Does this mean you're gonna be Arizona Torres now? Or is Auntie Callie gonna be Callie Robbins?" she lowered her voice to a whisper, "My mom thinks you should be a Torres but I like the name Robbins."

"Uh, I don't know. I think we might just keep our last names," but they hadn't talked about it yet. It took this visit for her to realize that they really hadn't talked about "Uh, I don't know. I think we might just keep our last names," but they hadn't talked about it yet. It took this visit for her to realize that they really hadn't talked about _anything_ yet.

Dani gave her a perplexed look, then shrugged, "Kayla, my friend from school, has two dads, and her last name is Li-Caulfield. You could always do that."

Robbins-Torres. Torres-Robbins. She honestly had no idea which one to go with, and instead of replying to that, she just chose to change the subject, "Enough about me. What about _you_? How's Colin?" she asked, her voice teasing.

A blush worked it's way furiously up to Dani's cheeks, "I don't have a crush on Colin! I told you that!"

"Mhmm. Sure," she winked at Dani as she hopped down from the wall, wrapping her arm around her shoulders, "I was so hoping you were going to like girls," she said with a heavy sigh.

Dani stuck her tongue out at her, then waved as they saw Aria, now that they were coming up to the hotel, "Hey mom!"

As Barbara walked out behind her, Arizona also waved, "Hey mom."

Oh, lord. The predatory look in Aria's eyes as she approached, Gabby trailing behind her, was frightening, "Arizona, what's on your agenda for the day?"

"I, uh, have a shift at the hospital… tonight…" her brain scrambled to find something else to say, but before she could, Aria grinned in triumph.

"That's perfect. Your mom and I set up an appointment to look at wedding dresses at a boutique we found."

Arizona's eyebrows shot up on her forehead, "Wedding dresses? We haven't even… I don't really think we're that close yet."

Aria shook her head as she scooped down to pick up her littlest daughter, "Nonsense, can't do it too soon, right Barb?"

Her mom shook her head, "Absolutely right. And the next time that our schedules will allow us all to be here at the same time will probably be with wedding, honey."

It wasn't that she didn't _want_ to look at wedding dresses… but the assumed that the first step would be scoping them out in magazines first. For a few months. Or so. Scratching at the back of her head, she bit into her bottom lip, "Doesn't it take more than a days' notice to set up an appointment at a bridal boutique? And, you know, I was kind of thinking that Callie should be here, for that."

Barbara looped their arms together and started walking in the direction of Aria's town car that was waiting at the curb, "Callie will be there when she gets out of her shift, we already talked to her."

As it turned out, trying on wedding dresses while being served coffee really didn't make for that terrible of a day. And it got much better once Callie was there. Even though Aria insisted they should change separately, because they didn't both want to see each other in potential dresses, Callie had waited until her sister was looking at Maid of Honor dresses before knocking on Arizona's dressing room door, "Pssst."

Grinning, she opened the door and peeked her head out, "Can I help you ma'am?"

Callie had smiled, putting her hand up on the wall and leaning in, "I was wondering if I could maybe come in for a visit. I've been going door to door trying to sell some housewares. And bibles. And girl scout cookies."

Running her eyes up and down her fiancée – who, given that she was standing in the circle of dressing rooms, was walking around in just her bra and underwear – "You don't look anything like any girl scout or bible salesperson I've ever seen."

As they started to hear Aria's voice coming back, talking to the saleswoman, Arizona reached her hand out to wrap around Callie's wrist and yanked her into her dressing room, quickly shutting the door behind them.

Callie's hands on her waist pulled her in close, as her mouth descended, pressing their lips together before muttering, "We're trying on wedding dresses and it's only been two weeks since we've gotten engaged." She pulled back slightly, her hands still holding the blonde close as she looked around at the dress designs that Arizona had lined up to try on, "I mean, you would clearly look gorgeous in all of them. But –"

Blue eyes widened and she nodded in agreement, "Yes! It's way too early to be planning… everything. I wanted to bask in the glow of just being engaged," she whispered as she could hear Aria's entrance into the area.

"Cal? You should really come out here to look at – where are you?" she asked, as she, Arizona assumed, saw Callie's dressing room door wide open.

"I'm talking to Arizona. Be out in a minute!" she called back, then dropped her voice to a whisper again, "Let's just get through what they have planned for us today, and then tomorrow I'll tell them that we're just not ready to be planning everything like this… or, well, having them plan everything."

They both jumped as Aria knocked on the door, saying in a staged whisper, "Are you two behaving inappropriately in a public area?"

Brown eyes rolled and Callie's hands reluctantly fell from her hips, making her miss the warmth, as her fiancée opened the door to see her sister grinning brightly at them, "I _wish_ we were behaving inappropriately. What do you want to show me?"

_Thursday_

Thanksgiving was one holiday that was not extremely busy for pediatric surgeons. And, being on-call for the next three hours before she could go home for the big dinner Callie and her mom were making, was just kind of torturous.

So, she leaned against the nurses' station, making light conversation with the ICU nurses who were also on today as she went through the pile of charts she had to keep her company. She liked the ICU nurses – they were intense and protective of the tiny humans in their unit, but she thought that they were all the better for it. And, they always had some sort of food that they would share with the doctors they liked.

Thankfully, as she picked at a piece of corn break, they liked her. She thought of the color scheme samples her mother and Callie's sister had been starting to pull out for her fiancée to start looking over and then wondered if Callie had told them that maybe they were pushing just a little too hard, a little too fast.

As if she psychically predicted it, her phone on the counter next to her started to ring and Callie's picture came up. Answering the call, she barely managed a greeting before Callie whispered into the receiver, "I can't tell them to slow down."

"What?" she asked, turning away from the nurses.

"I can't tell Barbara and Aria that they're moving too fast trying to plan our wedding. Your dad just told me how this is the most excited your mom has been in months and you know how we felt like Felix and Aria felt a little tense during brunch? Apparently, they've been in marriage counseling and I think she's trying to focus on putting together our wedding so she doesn't have to think about hers. I can't stop them now," the desperation in Callie's voice would have made her laugh, if it wasn't for what they were talking about.

Especially as she focused in on the part about her mom. Then she sighed, "Well, it's only for a few more days. How about we just… go along with it for the rest of the weekend? Then we can take the reins again when they leave."

She imagined that Callie was nodding, as she responded, still keeping her voice low, "Okay. But I'm telling you right now, these color schemes are god awful."

Chuckling, she clicked her pen and slid it into her lab coat pocket, "That's just because Aria and my mom have the same taste as I do. Where are you right now."

A few seconds ticked by before she answered, "I'm… sitting in our closet. Aria and your mom are in the kitchen, but I didn't want to take any chances," she defended as Arizona laughed.

Then sighed as her pager started going off, "Well, you just keep up with making an amazing dinner and picking through all the colors that you dislike, and I'll be home before you know it."

"I can't wait... but pink is not going to be part of our color scheme."

_Sunday_

Even just thinking about it all made her eyes close from exhaustion, "We've barely started wedding planning and there's already so much to think about."

Callie laughing from underneath her made her bounce, then start to laugh herself, "I know. But we don't have to rush anything; we might already have our dresses picked out and color scheme, thanks to our families, but beyond that… I'm really fine with waiting a little bit. If we're being logical, we would get the most time off together once I've finished my residency and you your fellowship, and that's not for almost seven more months."

Arizona bit her lip, just getting reminded of what Dr. Krasner had spent two hours talking to her about at the beginning of her shift, and she nodded slightly, "Yeah."

Hours ago, Dr. Krasner sat down Arizona as well as the two other people completing their surgical fellowship, "I understand that it's the start of the holiday season, but as you all know by now, the life of a surgeon is never relaxed. So, pediatric fellows of mine, I'm presenting you with your biggest challenge yet," he finished, as he clapped his hands together, then sat in silence to build up the momentum.

Arizona felt herself sit up even higher in her seat, waiting for what he was going to say, as the two other surgery fellows did the same.

The Chief continued, "Starting on the New Year, you will each have the opportunity to run the surgical ward for a week. You all have different styles, and I know that no matter what you guys do, there will be something you can learn from each other. However, whomever puts together the best plan and implements it, will win their own grant to fund research and a trial proposal of their choice. So. Get planning."

There was so much planning to do, and she wanted to start it all. But the prospect of trying to tackle both kind of unnerved her.

Her fiancée's hand slid down her spine, "Does that mean, yeah you want to wait for about seven months until we're both done with residency and fellowship, or yeah you might want to plan for sooner?"

Resting her cheek against Callie's chest, she closed her eyes, "I don't know. I mean… this weekend wasn't terrible. And," she bit her lip for a second, and felt sort of hypocritical saying this, considering that she hadn't particularly enjoyed this weekend all that much, "I don't really want to wait that much longer, but I just – we both – have so much going on that there's really no time to go out and do everything. Especially with Mass Gen bringing in their new hires next month and with my putting together my presentation of what it'll be like for me to run my own ward –"

Callie scratched her hand up her back, making her shiver as she cut off her ramble, "Arizona, I understand. I don't really want to wait that much longer, either, but we really don't have that much time right now. It's okay; we can just figure things out… later on. In two months, we'll both have gotten over our current hurdles at work and we'll hopefully have more time to plan everything." Dropping her voice to a whisper, she added on, "And it'll be without our crazy families making all of our appointments for us."

Letting out a soft giggle, she nodded, letting her eyes close again, "Yeah. Two more months."

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! I apologize for missing a few updates, but I was having a little trouble getting this chapter out while focusing on bringing my other story to a close. I'm also just throwing out there that this story is going to be marginally shorter than BLP was and will most likely be done in a few weeks. I have so many other story ideas that are waiting to get started! Anyway, thank you for reading!**


	8. The Game

"What about waiting until our wedding night?" Arizona asked breathlessly, meaning for her tone to be teasing but she was so desperate for Callie to touch her that the teasing was lost in translation.

As the brunette threw open the door to the bathroom, the way she growled out, "Arizona… shut up," made shivers run up and down her spine.

Arizona's breath left her on a gasp as her back slammed against the door, both she and Callie stumbling as the door hadn't quite shut all of the way behind them. The sound it made echoed through the small, dirty bathroom as her hands tunneled into dark hair, fisting and directing her fiancée's mouth to hers, desire shooting through her almost painfully as those strong hands found her butt, gripping and lifting her, and she quickly wrapped her legs around those curvy hips.

She definitely hadn't foreseen being taken by Callie inside of a public bathroom, inside of a club, while their friends were outside dancing and drinking to celebrate their bachelorette party, two days before their wedding… but she wasn't complaining in the least.

* * *

Callie stood in the outfield, her hands braced on her hips as Arizona stepped up to the plate. She never really would have thought that sports uniforms would have gotten her going, but she can't deny that watching her fiancée bend at the knees and stick her butt out, wiggling just a little bit, as she hit the bat to the plate, made her throat run dry.

It was May, and it was the softball game between Mass General and Boston's Children's Hospital. It was also the last of their "work" duties that they would be completing before taking the next two weeks off for their wedding and subsequent honeymoon. Even though they had both wanted to plan earlier in the year, with their work schedules, wedding planning had to fit into the open spots in their schedules.

Which meant cake tasting in February, finding the perfect photographer in March, while finding a florist in April. It had been slow to come to fruition – especially with Barbara and Aria both wanting to follow along with their steps despite being in Florida and Virginia, respectively – but it was practically here.

Callie, personally, had been relatively opposed to participating in this softball game, because as the afternoon of their bachelorette party, she was positive they could be doing much, much better things today. But Tamas had insisted she be there, even after Callie had point-blank told her boss that despite the stereotype, she did not play softball well, at all.

And when the Chief had offered to throw in an extra day's vacation, that was when she'd given in. Besides, she thought, watching Arizona stick her tongue out of the corner of her mouth in concentration as she stared down Alex at the pitcher's mound, "Come on, Karev! Give me your best shot!"

She couldn't help but chuckle as the blonde yelled at Alex, then Tamas quickly turned from her position at second base to glare at her, "Torres!"

Dark eyes rolled in the older woman's direction, but before she could say anything, her Chief of Surgery was yelling at Arizona's Chief, "Krasner! Keep your team under control! The game's barely started yet!"

All the older man did in response was laugh, "If your team can't handle _that_ you should just forfeit now."

But Tamas refused to forfeit, and instead just turned her attention to Alex, "You were an athlete in college, right Karev?"

"Yeah, a wrestler; a _real_ sport. Not baseball," he grunted back, much to their bosses' exasperation.

She wouldn't deny that she was enjoying this, just a little bit. No, this wouldn't be her first choice activity, but she enjoyed seeing Tamas be out of her element. In the last few months, she'd been almost unbearable, as far as Callie was concerned. As her residency was coming to a close, she had started to apply to fellowship programs and had had several interviews all over the country.

Arizona had convinced her to branch out and interview in different states, because when her fellowship was complete, she would apply for attending positions for hospitals at or near where Callie's fellowship was. So she hadn't been held back in any way, but her number one choice was Mass Gen. She liked Boston, she liked the life they'd built here, and she knew that Dr. Krasner had already offered her fiancée a tentative position as an attending in general pediatric surgery, pending the completion of her fellowship.

The only thing stopping them from being able to move full steam ahead to the next step of their life here was Dr. Tamas. Callie knew for a fact that there were other fifth year residents that the Chief had already offered fellowship positions to. And she also knew for a fact that she was up against Mason Little, who was an ortho resident studying at Mayo and he'd already been working on a research trial about polio.

But damn it, she deserved the fellowship more than Mason Little; she was _better_. She was a woman working in a predominantly male specialty, and she was awesome. The fact that Tamas had heard her saying so, the day before her official interview… was not so awesome. And the Chief still had another week before she had to notify Callie whether or not the fellowship would be offered to her.

And it was so rare that Tamas got so riled up – in fact, she was positive this game and competition she had going with Kraser was the first time Callie had seen her boss lose her cool in the last four years – that… yeah, it caused her some amusement. All in all, that paired with those tight softball pants Arizona was wearing, didn't make this afternoon nearly as bad as it could have been.

All right, and having Addison sipping from her flask as she sat next to Teddy, who'd flown in for the weekend, on the bleachers as they both alternatively cheered and jeered didn't hurt, either.

Using her glove as a visor over her eyes, she looked just in time to see Arizona hit the ball Alex tossed her way, and as it flew overhead, she brought both hands around her mouth, "Woo! Good job, baby!"

The ball didn't travel very far laterally, but as it went high up in the air, her runner fiancée made it to second base, just in time for Tamas to turn to her again, her voice exasperated, "Torres! What team are you on?"

Grinning, as Arizona winked at her over Tamas' shoulder, she shrugged, "Sorry Chief, that's my woman. I have to show some support!"

Krasner's laugh from the dugout drew both of their attention, "Your own team isn't even rooting for you!"

Tamas glared at him and hissed in Callie's direction, "Keep your head in the game!"

As one of the surgeons from Children's, one she recalled that Arizona didn't care for, stepped up to bat, she fixed on a serious expression, giving her boss a thumbs up. Internally, she wondered whether her head had ever really been in the game at all. If she had been into the game, she was sure that she wouldn't have felt relief at the fact that Arizona's pop fly hadn't reached her. But was she really to blame for not wanting to be to blame for tagging out her super competitive fiancée on the afternoon of their bachelorette party?

She thought not.

By the time it was Mass Gen's turn at bat, Boston Children's had scored three runs. As she stood by the fence separating the bleachers from the dugout, Addison approached, flask in hand, "Listen Cal… I have to let you in on a secret. I really don't think you should ever pursue a career in softball."

Laughing, she reached her hand out for the flask, which her friend readily handed over, "Really? I thought I was doing pretty well. I did catch that one ball." The sheer strength of the alcohol the redhead was drinking made her eyes water, and she barely managed to choke back a cough, "What the hell are you drinking? Gasoline?"

Addison lifted her eyebrows, reaching back through and plucking her flask from Callie's hands, "Because of the game, our afternoon of getting ready to go out while drinking at your apartment was ruined. We have to make due somehow!"

"Mhmm. Give me back the flask before I go up to bat," she reached her hand through the links in the fence, as Addison laughed.

"I feel like I'm sneaking in alcohol to a deviant," she said, "We should be out drinking at a club. Not on a baseball field." She held her hand above her eyes to shield against the sun and looked out onto the diamond, "Arizona seems to be enjoying it, though."

Arizona was, indeed, enjoying this. Softball had never really been a sport she'd gotten into, followed, or played. But a game was a game and a competition was a competition. And she had it on pretty good authority that Dr. Krasner and Dr. Tamas had a personal rivalry that went back for nearly a decade.

The only "bad" thing was the way Callie's black jersey emblazoned with the white Massachusetts General Hospital on the back was tied off right under her breasts made them seem even more appealing than they usually were. And the form-fitting red shirt she wore underneath that hugged her hips…

Ugh, she was completely over the no-sex-before-the-wedding rule that Callie had imposed five days ago. She wanted her fiancée, and she wanted her now. Two more days, she told herself. Just two more days. And then Callie was going to be her _wife_ and she would have sex with her hot and sexy wife whenever she wanted. For fifteen glorious days that they were going to be spending in Spain.

Shaking her head slightly, she brought her focus back to the game. In the meantime, she could play some softball and then go out with her friends – despite Addison's insistence that Alex should not come as he was clearly not a bachelorette – and dance obscenely close with Callie, which would probably just serve to wind her up even more.

Blue eyes watched as Callie chatted with Addison and Teddy through the fence; she really was going to get married to the most heart-stoppingly beautiful woman on the face of the planet. And even though her instincts told her to be a little nervous as to the copious amounts of alcohol her friends had planned for them tonight – it had been… dare she say years, since she'd gotten _really_ drunk – she couldn't wait to have the night and tomorrow's day at the spa with them.

As Callie stepped up to bat, she shook her head out of her bride-to-be mindset as best she could, ducking down to rest her hands on bent knees, rocking back and forth from leg to leg. She didn't exactly expect her fiancée to hit the ball – the amount of interest she'd expressed in playing any sports in six years was minimal. Swimming and dancing, yes. Softball? She was certain that the most Callie had ever thought of the sport was scoping out the last Olympic team during breaks from the events she actually watched.

When Callie connected the bat to the ball, the clanging sound had Arizona lifting her eyebrows in both surprise and appreciation. Though the ball didn't go far, and one of the peds cardio surgeons who was pitching for them scrambled to get it, but by the time it was in her hands, Callie already had her foot securely on top of the base Arizona was standing behind.

Smiling up at her fiancée she lifted an eyebrow, "You know, you really should go running with me more often." Dipping her voice she whispered, "Your boobs look really, really great."

But Callie just narrowed her eyes in response, putting her hands on her hips, "It looked like you were really ready to get me out! Two days before our wedding, and you're going to get me out." She turned to face the game, watching as Alex walked up to the plate, "And after I cheered you on and everything."

Giggling, she put her hands on Callie's hips, resting her chin on her shoulder, "Of course I wasn't, baby. I just had to make it look that way; don't want my boss giving me crap the way Tamas is shoveling it at you."

As Alex tipped the ball with his bat and sent it into foul territory, Tamas and Krasner's voices immediately rang out in an argument as to whether or not it was fair, and she could literally _feel_ Callie lose her feigned interest in the game, smiling as Callie turned in her arms, then leaned her torso back to run her eyes up and down her body.

If she closed her eyes, it was like she could feel the look Callie gave her, eyes roving up and down her body. But she wasn't going to close her eyes, because then she would miss watching the way dark brown become nearly black. Those long fingered hands came to rest on her own hips and she could feel the heat of them through her clothes, "You know, even though your colors aren't as badass as ours, you look pretty fucking hot in your uniform."

Arousal shot through her – the look in Callie's eyes, the way her voice fell to that husky tone, and the fact that she hadn't experienced the her fiancée's mouth or fingers or thigh or _anything_ in almost a week, when they really haven't kept their hands off of each other longer than two days since Christmas, was almost too much.

Then she frowned, looking down at her own uniform top. Her top, like the other BCH team members, was comprised of bright, neon colors that zigzagged down the front and back. It was cheery; she liked it, "Well, I do work for a _children's_ hospital, Calliope. Not all of us can be so…" she trailed her fingers up, over the black fabric of her fiancée's shirt, fisting in the material, "Mopey. And depressing."

Callie's mouth fell open, "It is not mopey and depressing! It's hardcore and badass."

Laughing, she skimmed her eyes back down her body, biting her lip, "Depressing and mopey or hardcore and badass; it doesn't matter. What _does_ matter is that you look really _fucking_ hot yourself."

The amount of pleasure she took in the way those wide eyes closed and the small groan that fell from Callie's lips should have been ungodly; she knew Callie loved it when she swore. Smirking she leaned in, sliding her hands farther around, cupping them over that full ass, whispering, "If I recall, you were the one who thought it would be a good idea to go without sex for the week before the wedding."

Callie had brought up the idea after they'd fucked each other so hard Arizona swore she wasn't going to be walking normally for at least two days, and at the time, given how satisfied she'd felt, she had agreed to the craziness. Now that she _hadn't_ had that satisfaction, she really, really wanted it again.

And their freaking wedding was in less than forty-eight hours, and she just… wanted to feel that closeness. That easy intimacy in the aftermath.

With that in mind, she squeezed the flesh under her hands, "I have an idea; I think we should make a little bet. What do you say?"

As Callie pushed back and grinded into her hands, she dug her teeth into her bottom lip, "What would this bet entail?"

Pretending to think about it, she poked her bottom lip out, "Hmm. Let's see. If _my_ team wins, I get to take you. Before the wedding. Wherever, whenever I want."

The light whimper that left Callie's mouth at her words, turned her on beyond believe, "And if I win?"

Arizona licked her lips, "Then… you get to do… whatever you see fit for the next time we have sex." It pained her to add on, "Even if it means continuing to wait."

Callie's voice was hardly more than a whisper as she responded, "You're on." And as her head started to dip, Arizona's lips parted in anticipation… only for Callie to stop midway, "You don't really think my team is going to win, do you? You don't think I can beat you."

Her hands dug in sharply, a smile slowly sliding across her face, "Of course you can win, sweetie."

Apparently, while they'd been otherwise entertained, the game had resumed, as the softball softly bounced passed them. Their teams respective voices came rushing back, as Alex was bounding toward the base yelling for Callie to get to second, and Arizona's own team was screaming at her to get the ball.

Dropping her grip from Callie's butt, her fiancée shouted, "Game on, Robbins!" over her shoulder as she started to run.

As quickly as she could manage, fumbling her hands just a bit, she reached for the ball, tossing it to the second baseman only seconds later than Callie arrived at the base, and blue eyes narrowed in determination. Game on, indeed.

Nearly two hours later, it was the bottom of the ninth, and not only was Arizona slightly shocked that both of their teams had made it for the full game, but she was also really feeling the pressure. She was on third base, and there were already two outs, with Mass Gen up by one . And she kept making eye contact with Callie, who was now playing catcher, and those dark eyes were so, so determined. It both frightened and excited her.

The combination had her stomach knotting in the best way.

And she really, really didn't want to lose. It ran deeper than her need to not lose a competition; there was more on the line here than her basic need to come in first. There was that, along with the knowledge that if she could make it to home plate without being tagged out she would bump their game up to a tie , but also the knowledge that if she made this run, she was going to rip that fucking mask and that padding right off of her fiancée.

And make Addison and Teddy and Alex – their friends who were coming with them from softball to their apartment to get ready to go out tonight – wait, while she took Callie into the bathroom in the stadium, and have fast, hot, dirty, sexy sex with her.

There was a lot riding on the strength of the hit one of the other surgical fellows was about to make. She was already edging off base as soon as bat connected to ball, and then she took off, narrowing her eyes and pushing herself to go as fast as she could. She saw out of the corner of her eyes that the Mass Gen pitcher was throwing Callie the ball…

Before she knew what had happened, she'd increased her speed and Callie had turned to tag her out. And now she was on the ground, her breath completely gone from her lungs, her fiancée on top of her, and not in a good, hot, dirty, sexy way. In the way that they'd collided roughly at home plate and then had both gone falling down.

Callie's hand, the one that was holding the softball, dropped the ball next to her head and let it roll before bringing both hands to her face and lifting the mask away from her, throwing it to the side. She shifted a little bit, her knee falling between Arizona's legs, and with her hair all mussed from the mask and a sheen of sweat over her forehead… all right, maybe it was a little sexy. Even as those wide brown eyes ran up and down her face, concern evident, "Are you okay?"

Acutely aware of both of their teammates, she didn't wiggle her hips the way her body was telling her to, and instead asked, "Was I safe?" and her voice was unintentionally gruff.

Then it wasn't her hot fiancée in her vision, but instead Dr. Krasner. He was shaking his head, but he bent down to pat her shoulder, "It was a valiant effort, Robbins, but you were out. Centimeters, I'm telling you. Only centimeters away."

Groaning, she closed her eyes, hearing Dr. Tamas in the distance shouting, "That's what I'm talking about, Torres!"

But Callie ignored her, pushing herself up and off Arizona, before reaching down and taking both of the blonde's hands in hers and tugging upwards so she was standing in front of her, eyes still wide with worry, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Feeling the loss, both on the team game level and the sex life level, she wasn't sure if the expression on her face was a scowl or a pout, "No. I'm fine. Not used to being underneath you in that sort of way, but I guess I'm not going to be experiencing any other way in the next few days."

The glint in her fiancée's eyes was maddening as all of their teammates started heading in their direction. She could understand where Callie was coming from on this matter – on one hand, it was kind of exciting to know that the next time she would have her woman under her hands, she would be her wife. But really, no matter what, their wedding night sex would be incredible.

Sighing, she felt a begrudging smile come up on her lips, "Well, Dr. Torres, you certainly played a good game."

* * *

The music in the club they were in was still loudly echoing through the bathroom, as she felt Callie's fingers push into her, easily bypassing the black lacy thong she'd put on after the game, and she was positive that the moan that escaped her was louder than the bass.

The dress she was wearing was snug, which was why Teddy had helped her pick it out for the night, telling her that Callie wouldn't be able to resist her in it. And combined with the way they'd both been closely dancing with each other, grinding into one another, for nearly the last two hours…

Her own gasps and whimpers fell from her lips and into the room, the legs she had clamped around Callie's waist already quivering as her fiancée started thrusting in a near frantic rhythm. Full lips pressed into her throat, sucking but only very lightly, before that voice spoke into her ear, "You are so, so hot, Arizona. It's been six years and you still make me wet without even touching me."

"Yes," she groaned, then her own hands reached down, fumbling with the belt and then the snap on Callie's tight, dark jeans, needing to feel said wetness on her own fingers before giving into the orgasm that was already trying to barrel through her.

Quickly circling two fingers over her clit, she moved at a rhythm that matched pace and tempo with the one Callie was using on her. Using the hand that was still in that dark hair, she moved her head up, "Kiss – me – while –"

Her words broke with every inward thrust, and then she couldn't get any more of them out as those lips came up and pressed against hers, Callie's tongue entering her mouth and brushing her own, and that was all it took. She clamped down around her fiancée's fingers, pressing her own down harder until she swallowed Callie's moan of release.

Her heart was thundering in her ears, so blissed out she wasn't even able to lift her head from Callie's shoulder. As someone pounded on the other side of the door, making her bounce forward into Callie, demanding that there was a long line of people outside who needed to use the bathroom, she just wrapped her limbs tighter around her, closing her eyes and breathing in her scent.

Dark hairs tickled her cheeks, as she whispered, "We're getting married the day after tomorrow. We're getting married."

Strong hands slid from cupping her butt to wrap around her back, Callie's breath washing over her neck and Arizona could hear the smile in her voice and the love in her tone, "Yeah. We're getting married. Feet feeling cold?"

Shaking her head lightly, she dug her feet into Callie's butt underneath them, "Absolutely not. My feet have never been warmer."

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! Thank you for all of the feedback so far and for reading.**


	9. Late Night Conversations

It was two in the morning.

That meant that she was getting married _today_.

And she could not sleep for the life of her; she'd been trying to for nearly three hours.

There were currently two problems that were contributing to this problem.

The first was that she had said goodnight to Arizona hours ago – an extremely, as her niece Dani had said, sloppy cheesy goodnight. Wherein their phone call lasted throughout their entire getting ready for bed routine. Given their jobs, they definitely didn't always get to sleep together at night.

Which she wasn't a fan of, but that was just the life of being a doctor and they were used to it by now. Work was work. However, tonight neither of them was at work; tonight was wedding eve. In fact, right now it was wedding morning. It had been her decision to sleep in the Boston Harbor Hotel where her father was paying for all of their guests to stay for a couple of days, the night before the wedding.

She'd always had this as a part of the dream wedding plan she'd come up with from when she was too young to remember. This was part of the "traditional" type thing that people did the night before they got married.

In her mind, it was kind of romantic. In reality, going to sleep without her arms around a slim waist, without a leg hooked around her ankle, without feeling Arizona's body pressed against hers and that soft blonde hair brushing against her chin – all the while knowing that her fiancée was at home in their bed – well, as an Ivy League education doctor, she felt qualified to say that it sucked.

Her younger self who had thought this would be a great plan clearly never anticipated being in love the way she was in love with Arizona.

However, she thought she might be able to catch a little bit of sleep. If not for the second thing that was keeping her awake. Pulling a pillow over her face she groaned, "Aria –"

Her sister was pacing the floor in front of Callie's bed, as she'd been doing since she'd knocked on Callie's door two hours ago, but came to a sudden stop as soon as the older Torres sister said her name, "I know. I know, Cal, I'm sorry. I'll just go back to my own room."

Her voice took on a tone that it had had since childhood when she was sad, and the perfect word to describe it was simply glum. When they were children, that tone would always make Callie begrudgingly give in to whatever she wanted, even though Aria never used it manipulatively, and at age thirty-two, it still worked.

Sighing, Callie folded down her comforter and patted the bed next to her, sliding over. And, much like when they were children and Aria would come into her sister's room during things like thunderstorms, she sat in the bed, pulling up the blankets and leaning her head on Callie's shoulder, her voice quiet, "I don't mean to complain so much about it all. I just – I miss them. I miss my family."

As any older sister would, she brought her arm up over her shoulders, running her hand through the dark curls that spiraled wildly over Aria's shoulders, "I know you do. It doesn't… bother you that I invited Felix, right?"

There were seconds of silence before her sister shook her head, "No. I mean, you've known him all of your life, too. If he brought that… that tramp, then that would bother you. And there would be a smack down."

Aria had always been the happiest, most bubbly person in her life, and these last few months had really done a number on her. She and Felix had officially separated just before Christmas, and the strain that had been on them during the Thanksgiving weekend that they had come to Boston for, which Aria refused to share at the time, had been because he'd cheated on her with one of the other partners at his firm. Who was hereby known as the tramp.

And now, the entire Torres/Reyes clan was in Boston for her wedding, staying in the same hotel. Tonight was a night for all of their children to stay with Felix in his suite rather than in Aria's. For the most part, her sister had custody back in Miami; Callie knew her ex-brother-in-law got them every other weekend. She also knew that her sister was absolutely miserable every night her children were gone.

She had the biggest sneaking suspicion that she was also miserable without Felix, as much as she denied it, "I totally would have backed you in that smack down. But… have you given any more thought about trying to forgive him?" Before Aria could say or do anything, she gave her shoulder a comforting rub, "I know it would be hard. And I know it hurts. But Felix, he's…"

She'd always watched her sister with Felix, throughout their entire lives, and thought she'd seen soul mates. She couldn't even remember a time that her sister wasn't with him, which was why the news of his infidelity, which she'd only learned around fairly recently, shocked her so much.

However, her sister wasn't having it, "I can't, Callie. And now I'm a thirty-one year old divorcee with three young children. I have to date again – actually, I've never dated. How do people do it? I've gone on three. And they weren't stellar."

The bafflement in her voice was so genuine, that Callie had to laugh, "It's not easy or fun…" it was even kind of hard for her to remember, before six years ago. And she could think of a lot of dud dates she'd had. Then she thought of Arizona, and she looked down at her engagement ring, a smile forming on her lips, "And then, you find that person."

She could easily slip back in time and vividly remember the first night she'd met Arizona. She remembered ocean blue eyes and dimples, both of which mesmerized her that night in Joe's. She remembered that first night they'd met, and subsequently had sex. She remembered _everything_ about Arizona and the beginning of their relationship, even though it had been six years.

"You find that person who makes your heart hurt in this way that feels good, too. Who can send you one look – just one – and you get weak in the knees. Who will smile at you and you know that that smile is just for you, and then you feel like nothing else in the world can even compare. And like every minute you spend with them, even if you're doing nothing, is special. As long as you're doing it together," she finished, sighing as she brought her right hand up to fiddle with her ring.

Well. That just made her miss Arizona even more.

The mirroring sigh that her sister let out sounded much more like the hopeless romantic she knew Aria to be, "That was nice. You have that with Arizona?"

Closing her eyes, she could clearly picture that bright smile and the way sky blue eyes would shine with it, right up at her, and she nodded, "Every day."

"I used to have those feelings with Felix. But after Gabby was born, things just became… different," she shifted, so that she could look Callie in the eyes, "You know that I love you and Arizona, so, so much, even though I'm being such a stupid downer, right? I'm really glad you two are getting married. Finally," she tossed out a teasing smile.

Callie could only smile back, "It's strange. The plan was that I was going to be with Arizona no matter what. And I'd just kind of accepted that marriage just wasn't in it for us."

"And then Tim died," Aria continued, nodding.

She confirmed it, "And then Tim died." Playing with the corner of the blanket, she twisted it in her fingers, murmuring, "That changed her." It was in ways that she couldn't describe to her sister. Nearly a year had passed now, enough so that to other people, people who weren't as close to Arizona as she was, saw nearly the same person emerge. Those people weren't the people who held her fiancée three times in the last few months, because of the fact that Tim wouldn't be able to be at their wedding. They weren't the people who cried with her.

Clearing her throat, and wanting desperately to call Arizona now just to check in, she shook her head, "And now that our wedding is here, that it's happening… I always thought I would be scared? Maybe a little bit nervous the day before. A good nervous." She remembered that even her sister was when marrying Felix, just a little.

Aria lifted an eyebrow, "You're not a good nervous?"

With a little laugh, she shook her head, "I'm not nervous at all. I'm excited. Kind of really _thrilled_."

She was getting her dream wedding, to the perfect woman. Tomorrow – later today, she meant – she and Arizona were going to exchange vows of their love in front of everyone they loved, everyone they cared about. She was most nervous about that public speaking than anything else.

Aria's grin was tired as she yawned, putting her head back on Callie's shoulder, "I knew she was perfect for you the moment I saw you two together. I just, um. I'm sorry that mom's not going to be here to see it."

And there was the only aspect about this day that was bringing her down at all. In the last six years, her mother had refused to talk to her, and Callie accepted that as best she could. She had Arizona and she had her dad and sister, and that was what she held her head high and walked forward with.

But when they'd sent out invitations for the wedding, she'd sat with butterflies in her stomach and Arizona sitting next to her, holding onto her hand, as she called her mom. To invite her personally. And to tell her that despite the last few years, despite the fact that Callie didn't know if she could fully move on from them, she still wanted her mother at her wedding.

She'd had hope when her mom actually answered the phone. And then that hope was dashed when the phone went dead in her ear as soon as she mentioned the word wedding.

Closing her eyes, she shrugged, "I wasn't really expecting anything different, Aria." Hoping, yes. Expecting, no. "It is what it is."

"How philosophical of you; if mom had told me she was going to miss my wedding, I probably would have slapped her. And then cried. A lot. I guess that's why you're the older sister and I'm the baby," she joked.

Yawning, she leaned back into the pillows, "Well, I have had years to prepare myself. Shut off the light."

Aria obliged, then settled into the bed, "Callie? Thanks for always being the best big sister. I know it sounds corny, but… I'm so happy you have Arizona because you really do deserve the very best. And she is."

"I know. Now, come on. I have to get some beauty sleep before I marry said very best woman," she closed her eyes, only to reopen them as Aria, her voice slurred from sleep next to her said.

"It's a tradeoff, though, right? You don't have mom anymore. But you have Arizona. And if you did what mom wanted, then you wouldn't be here right now. I've been telling myself since Felix… since last fall, that things happen for a reason," she let out a short laugh at herself, "All right, I'm going to stop talking random thoughts at you. Goodnight, big sister. Sleep tight. And tomorrow – er, later this morning, one of the best days of your life will be here."

* * *

It was two in the morning.

That meant that she was getting married _today_.

And she could not sleep for the life of her; she'd been trying to for nearly three hours.

Her alarm was set to go off in five hours, to wake her up for the day that a thousand little girls dream about. Well, _she _had never dreamt about this, personally. Arizona could remember in flashes days of playing with other girls – whom she couldn't remember now, as the only friends she could vividly remember having as a child were Tim and Nick – and all the other girls wanted to spend time playing fake wedding.

She liked to play doctor.

In a move that had become a habit in the last few months, she brought her hands up to rest on her t-shirt clad stomach, the right over the left, her fingers spinning the ring Callie had slipped onto her finger five months ago. Somehow, it wasn't something she'd ever thought about, but in less than half a year, it was a part of her.

Whenever she had to take off the ring to go into surgery, during which time she would slip it onto the chain of the necklace Callie had given her, her hand felt strange. And it was right again when she had that gold band back on.

Everything felt right when she was with Callie, which was why she had no idea why she couldn't freaking fall asleep. This entire day had been spent being utterly pampered at one of the best spas in the city that Aria and Addison had booked. She, Callie, Aria, Addison, Teddy, and her mother had spent the day there, with a few bottles of expensive wine being shares, getting massages and facials.

The last thing they did together was get a couples massage. And, with their beds a foot apart, her fiancée's hand had slid off her bed, entwining with hers in that familiar, comforting way that was so natural. Even their masseuses commented on how sweet they were – not the way their friends and family had, calling them nauseating, by which she and Callie had responded by kissing in front of them, slowly, in a way that made her toes curl just thinking about it.

That massage was their very last activity together before Arizona would be seeing Callie tomor – later today, at their wedding.

Their wedding that she wanted to be well rested for but could still not sleep. There was going to be so much stuff to do, hours upon hours of wedding plans that were finally coming to fruition – the preparation, the actual walking down that aisle, the speeches, the dances, the… everything. And that didn't even touch on tomorrow night; the wedding night.

Where she planned on taking her time to make slow, luxurious love to her wife. She planned on taking hours. And to do that, she needed to freaking sleep.

If her wife-to-be was in bed with her right now, Arizona was certain she wouldn't have this problem. Because Callie, who never had trouble falling asleep, had this way of slowly wrapping her arms around Arizona's waist, with one of her hands sliding up underneath her shirt to splay across the soft skin of her back. Her long, skilled fingers would move, tracing light patterns and her voice would already be full of sleep as would whisper in Arizona's ear how much she loved her. And then when she closed her eyes, sleep would come easily.

That was how it always worked between them.

And tonight, the night before their wedding, a night that she very much wanted to be held by her woman, was one night that Callie wasn't here.

Kicking out her feet in frustration, her hand automatically reached for the bedside table where her phone was, then she let it fall as it was halfway there, thumping lightly back onto the mattress. As much as she wanted to call her, to hear her voice – which Arizona knew would be gravelly from sleep – she didn't want to wake Callie up.

Throwing off the covers and pushing herself out of bed, she made her way to the kitchen, as quietly as she could because her parents were in the guest room and both still woke up with the slightest of provocations. Then, just as she flicked on the lights, she jumped back, her hand coming up over her mouth to muffle her own scream of surprise, "Dad! Why are you sitting in the dark?" she asked, as her heart still beat frantically in her chest.

He moved his gaze from where it had been focused – albeit in the dark room – on the mug that looked so small nestled in his hands – which she knew was full of tea rather than coffee – up to look at her, his eyes squinting against the light, "Bug, I didn't expect you to be up."

She made quick work of pouring herself her own cup of tea before pulling out the chair across from him, "I can say the same about you. I don't think I've seen you up past midnight in…" ever. Because her dad fell asleep at night and rose in the morning like clockwork.

Her dad nodding, slowly leaning back in his chair, "I know. But it's not every day that a man is going to be walking his daughter down the aisle."

Trying to gauge his mood, she narrowed her eyes, "You're not… nervous, are you?"

"No, no… a little. Tomorrow's one of the biggest days of your life, Bug. A big day for you is a big day for me," his eyebrows drew together in consternation that she didn't understand.

Reaching across the table, she covered one of his hands with hers, "Dad, it's not that big of a day." That didn't sound the way she meant it to, "I mean, it is. But at the same time, it's not. I'm getting married, and that's a big deal. But… it's Callie. Tomorrow, you're going to walk me down the aisle, but the love of my life is going to be there waiting for me."

His hand, the one that she wasn't touching, patted hers, "I know. And you know that I love that girl; she takes good care of you. Not that you need it," he said, sending her a smile, "But a father wants someone who knows how to look after his daughter."

Lifting both of her eyebrows, she teased, "And it was you who didn't like her in the first place."

"I didn't know her," he defended, tweaking her nose, "I'm not nervous, Bug. Not… about that."

The way he looked back down at the table, that pensive look, Arizona recognized it from the last few months. Since Tim. And she took a guess that didn't feel like that much of a reach, "Do you think we got engaged too quickly after… after?"

He just looked back at her, his blue eyes just like hers, "Do you?"

His question caught her off guard, and she bit her lip, eyebrows coming together as she looked down at the table, slowly answering, "I… no. Proposing to Callie wasn't something I did lightly, dad. Tim might have made me realize some things, but I didn't propose because of him."

The corners of his mouth lifted in the gruff smile he gave, which seemed to be even more so in recent years, as his entire head of hair was nearly gray now. "Good. And truth be told, when you told your mother and I that you were engaged, we were relieved. We worried about you up here, but you're our Bug and you pulled through. You found a way to be happy."

"Well, Calliope helped," she grinned, her eyes flickering to the clock, taking in a deep breath, "And we're getting married at noon, and I can't sleep. My brain just won't shut off, I guess."

"Thinking about our father daughter dance, with both of us out there without your mother or Callie to lead? That's four left feet between us," Daniel joked, pushing himself to his feet, his matching pajama set somehow looking formal.

When he held out his hand, Arizona took it without question, and she giggled, placing her hand on one of his shoulders, and resting her head on the other, mumbling, "I think we can manage if we don't try to be overly ambitious. Callie and Carlos are going to blow us right out of the water."

She felt her father's chuckle against her cheek, while one of his hands ran over the top of her bed head, "They're nice enough to not overdue it and make us look better. Besides, no one can resist a Robbins charm, no matter what we're doing."

Laughing in response, she nodded, "You're right." As they swayed for a few more seconds, she lifted her head, "I'm getting married in a few hours."

"You are. Are you ready? Having a wife is a big responsibility. Her happiness, her wants, and needs; it'll be on you," her told her, his voice and eyes serious.

Her eyes glowed up at him, revealing a dimpled grin, "Yes, I know. They already were, anyway."

Because when Callie was hurting or unhappy, so was she. It was part of the reason she just knew she was the one she was meant to be with.

Daniel's smile back was full of affection, "I know. You take care of the people you love. That's who I raised you to be, and I love you for that." He heaved a heavy sigh, "The last time you were talking marriage with a girl, I'm not going to lie – it scared me."

The last… "Joanne?" She asked, stopping all movement, her forehead creased as she thought back to… god, it was nine years ago. The thought nearly have her laughing. Nine years ago, when she'd been cheated on by the woman who she'd thought was the love of a lifetime was the end of the world, it turned out it was really just opening her up for the real love of a lifetime.

He nodded, "Joanne," the word came out with a grimace as he continued, "Joanne was so wrong for you, Bug. I was scared you were going to propose to her and she would say yes, because she's _not_ the type of woman I would want for my daughter. And thankfully, that never happened."

She nearly shuddered, "You couldn't be more right."

He turned his head to look at the clock above the stove, "We should both be getting to bed. Especially you," he stooped just a bit to press a kiss to her forehead, which he hadn't done in years, "Get some sleep for the first official day of the rest of your life. We're welcoming another Robbins to the family."

Arizona rolled her eyes, stepping back from him, "Callie's keeping her last name, dad."

They'd agreed on that after several discussions. Officially, legally, as doctors, they were both keeping their own last names. Robbins-Torres or Torres-Robbins just made for an awkwardly long last name for their patients to say – especially hers, she thought with a smile, trying to imagine her tiny humans stumbling over the long name.

Privately, they'd both occasionally thrown out Callie Robbins and Arizona Torres, which they decided to use whenever they saw fit. She liked that. But it wasn't the name part she was looking forward to the most. As surprising as it was to even herself, she was most excited about the word wife.

"Hi, this is Callie Torres, my wife," she saw herself saying, and could see the reverse for Callie, and it made the most pleasant feeling swirl in her stomach.

Wife.

In a few hours, she was going to have a wife. In a few hours, she was going to be a wife.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! Thank you for being patient with me; I've had the worst writer's block for a few weeks and I'm just getting over it. **

**Just a quick note on where this story will be headed: this chapter let me get back into the minds of the characters and it helped me lead into an idea I've had since writing BLP - the next chapter will be somewhat of an If/Then a la season 8 chapter - what if Callie had listened to her parents when she first came out? What if Arizona had never broken up with Joanne? What would the Callie and Arizona of the Best Laid Plans be like then? And after that will be the wedding, and shortly after that, this story will come to an end.**

**As always thank you for reading!**


	10. What If

"Wake up, beautiful."

Arizona woke up to the smell of coffee in her nose and the feeling of fingers stroking the hair away from her temple, behind her ear. Her eyes opened just in time to see Joanne sit next to her, coffee cup from a cart downstairs in hand and a bright smile on her face as her hand continued to stroke through Arizona's hair.

When green eyes met blue, the redhead's smile grew even bigger, "Good morning." The signs of strain clearly showed around the corners of her grin, and the hand that was in blonde hair behind her ear momentarily paused, "You slept at the hospital again. I thought you said you were coming home last night?"

Arizona _had_ said that. She could recall her wife sidling up to her while she'd been filling out charts at the nurses' station last night, asking in a near-begging tone if she would sleep at home. And she remembered looking up into sad emerald eyes and sighing, saying that as long as no emergencies came up, she'd be coming home.

Lifting her fist, she rubbed at her eye, yawning as she sat up, the action resulting in Joanne's hand falling limply to the pillow under her head, "Sorry. Right near the end of my shift, an ambulance came in with a car crash; it was bad."

The irritation was still clear on the redhead's features, but she forced a smile, "And I guess as the trauma fellow, it was your duty to stay. How is everyone who came in?"

Accepting the coffee, she leaned back against the wall, "Mostly fine. The driver was the worst; his ribs were crushed, his femur –"

She broke off as a long, slim finger pressed against her lips, "I'm sure with you there, he's fine, now." She bit her lip, before scooting in closer, "So last night, I was hoping we could… and then you didn't come home, so I was thinking that because I have an hour before my shift starts…"

Arizona could read the look in the eyes she'd been looking into for seventeen years, since she was a teenager, like a book; she knew the glint in those emerald greens. It used to excite her, thrill her. In response, she would have wrapped her arms around that lean waist and roll them so that long, lean body was trapped under hers – after many years, knowing how to work in these small on-call room beds – planting kisses down the column of her pale neck, making sure to flick the freckles she knew by memory with her tongue.

What she actually did in response was shake her head, scooting to the edge of the bed to sit next to her wife, though feet apart, "Not now; I have surgery in less than…" she checked her watch,  
"forty-five minutes, and I want to check on the patient before I go," she mumbled, then rested the coffee on the ground to life her arms up in a stretch, feeling her vertebrae pop into place.

And because she sensed her wife's movement – she knew Joanne was going to reach out and touch her shoulder – she cut her stretching short and stood up, just out of reach, turning to face her just as those slim shoulder slumped, and a red eyebrow arched, "I thought we were going to try? To work on us?"

Frustrated, one hand came to rest on her hip while the other rubbed at her forehead, "What do you want me to say? There was a trauma last night; I'm the trauma fellow. I have a patient who needs surgery. I can't just blow that off because you want to have sex."

The words snapped from her mouth harshly, and Joanne's eyes widened at them, before narrowing, "You used to! We used to cut surgeries close and fool around in the hospital all of the time –"

"Before you cheated on me with your scrub nurse!" she couldn't even believe Joanne was giving her attitude about not having sex with her when she'd barely been able to look her in the eye for almost two months.

It had been six weeks since she'd walked in on her wife having sex with said nurse as she'd walked into an on-call room. Joanne had tearfully admitted that it had happened five other times in the last two months, with this same woman.

For the first three weeks, Arizona had been unable to go back to their house. She'd slept in the hospital for fifteen nights straight, lived in different pairs of scrubs, and on the coffee from the cart that she knew her wife disliked. She disliked it, too, but she'd rather have shitty coffee than have to see Joanne while she contemplated what their future would be.

And then her wife had sought her out, asking if they would be able to work it out. So she'd promised that she would try. But it wasn't nearly as easy as it was for her to move on as it apparently was for Joanne. Though, she would give her wife this much credit: she had been doing anything she could think of in order to make Arizona see that she was trying to make up for her infidelity.

Sighing, she crossed her arms, "I'm doing my best, Joanne."

Big green eyes looked up at her, the tension seeping out of her and her usually impeccable posture hunching forward, "I know. I'm sorry. Do you think you'll be coming home tonight?"

Arizona bit her lip, "Yes. But you know I'm going to be home a little late, because it's –"

Joanne pulled a face, one Arizona – like all of the redhead's other faces – was so familiar with. It was one if dislike mixed with mocking, "It's _her_ bachelorette party. I know. I've only been at the hospital for ten minutes and I've already heard at least ten women talking about how exciting it's going to be."

Blue eyes rolled, "It's been almost four years since Callie started her residency here, and I still have yet to hear a valid reason of why you don't like her. And if you've forgotten, you were invited to come out tonight, too."

"Because… because. She has an attitude and an ego, and she has ever since she started. And people drool over her like she's too gorgeous for words, and she's not as great as she thinks she is," Joanne huffed, crossing her arms.

As they stood in mirroring positions, Arizona was the first one to break, reaching up to pull her hair into a ponytail, snapping the elastic off of her wrist, "Fine; you can dislike whoever you want. But it's been a while since we went out together, and apparently the club they're going to is supposed to be awesome. Why don't we just go together?"

But Joanne wasn't giving in, "I just think it would be better for us if we stayed in together; how long has it been since we've done that? How is going out to a club with _Dr. Torres_ and all of the residents going to help us? How is that "working on our marriage"?"

They were in a stand-off, both staring at each other. Arizona wanted to point out to her wife – not for the first time – that it had been quite a while since they'd stayed in together because being there with her, alone, just the two of them, after the affair – was hard for her. She wanted to point out that it wasn't just residents who were going to be at the bachelorette party tonight, but many of the people they worked with at the hospital. Unlike traditional bachelorette parties, this was open for many more women than just the bride's close friends, as an entire club had been rented to throw a huge party. Arizona didn't know all of the details, but she thought it had something to do with the amount of money the groom's family had as well as the people who were planning it were big partiers. Or something along those lines.

Regardless, she didn't say those things. She'd had enough of fighting for a lifetime in the last six weeks, and after the beginning, it just got easier to do things like sleep in the hospital or stop talking to her when it became too much.

And to fight over whether or not to go to a bachelorette party was just nowhere near on the top of the list of things to stress about in their marriage. So Arizona just let out a deep breath, "You know what, fine. I won't go out tonight."

Joanne's eyebrows raised, "Really? Will – can I make you dinner? I mean, it might be a late dinner because I don't get off until nearly nine, but –"

She was interrupted by Arizona's pager, and blue eyes scanned it, "It's a 9-1-1 from the guy I have surgery on soon – I have to go." She took a few steps over to the bed and reached down next to Joanne to retrieve the now cooled cup, "Thanks for the coffee," she called over her shoulder, as she walked toward the door.

"Tonight!" her wife's voice called out from behind her, but the door was already swinging closed behind Arizona so she could easily pretend she didn't hear her.

Following the page, she ran to the scrub room, quickly washing her hands in the sink as she could see Callie already working inside of the room. This was the man whose ribs had been crushed and femur shattered, internal injuries galore; they'd worked for hours into the early morning just to stabilize him until the surgery they'd planned on doing. But apparently he hadn't been able to make it that long.

All in all, having a wake up argument with her wife, then having a patient code before surgery, and looking forward to going home to spend time with a woman that she didn't know how to spend time with right now… the day was shaping up to be one that would probably demand more than that one cup of coffee she'd had to chug and then toss in the garbage moments ago.

Entering the room, the dark eyes that belonged to the ortho resident flicked to her direction for a moment before back to what they were focusing on before. She got a quick debrief, before going to work on his chest as Callie worked on his leg.

Dr. Torres had come to Johns Hopkins during Arizona and Joanne's second year of residency; she was her wife's resident. And they hadn't gotten along right from the beginning. And while Arizona had no problem whatsoever with the younger woman, they didn't really interact all that much until a few months ago, when Callie had been able to officially declare a specialty. By now, they ran into each other fairly often given the amount of bone problems that came into the emergency room.

And despite Joanne's distaste for the brunette, Arizona found that Callie was easy to get along with. She wouldn't exactly call them _friends_ but she was an easy to talk to person to have on the other side of the operating table or an occasional lunch.

After she settled into the surgery, her hands taking over procedures she knew by heart, she thought of her conversation with Joanne. Her eyes narrowed at the cavity her hands were working in as she cleared her throat, "So, it looks like I'm not going to be able to make it tonight."

"Oh, come on, why? I thought I talked you into it last night!" Last night as they had spent hours very much in similar positions to where they were standing now, and Callie's husky voice had indeed convinced her to go.

She'd used the selling points of drinking and dancing, and even then, Arizona had hedged on the idea. Even though Callie was only a year younger than she was, she felt infinitely older. She hadn't been out drinking and dancing in years, sporadically in the beginning of her residency, but certainly not to the type of parties Callie was talking about since med school.

"Do I have to do it again? Because I will," Callie continued as her hands worked, going on before she even had the chance to say a word, "All right, here goes. Drinking. The alcohol is all free tonight and… all right, lately, you've really looked like you could use a drink. Or a whole bottle. Or three."

Arizona finally lifted her eyes, a chuckle coming out muffled by her surgical mask, "It's been a while since I've had more than just a glass of wine or two after leaving the hospital."

"There you go, then. And the dancing! Apparently, there's going to be a DJ who is really amazing," the Latina goaded, and Arizona just laughed some more.

"I haven't danced with anyone aside from my wife in…" she bit her lip, trying to think, "Eleven years?"

"If I wasn't holding a surgical instrument right now and if someone's life didn't depend on my continuing to hold it, it would be dropped. Eleven years? Dancing with one person? I mean, I guess if you love someone that much that you only _want_ to dance with them for the rest of your life –"

The laugh that came out of her mouth was loud and harsh and it happened before she could stop it, attracting looks from mostly everyone in the room, except for Callie, "No, it's… we just don't dance that much, either one of us. I don't really have that much rhythm, and, well, Joanne definitely isn't going tonight, so I don't want to have to unleash my horrible moves on the other guests."

Callie's returning laugh was low, "All right, how about this, Robbins; I'll dance with you to protect you. Some of my rhythm will rub off on you, I'm positive."

There were two aspects to those statements that made Arizona wish she could have been watching the Latina when she'd spoken. First, because Callie always gave her a smile with her eyes as she called her "Robbins" which was how she'd referred to her ever since they'd first met.

Even though it clearly said on her lab coat Dr. Robbins-Carr.

Then then sometimes she _swore_ that Callie flirting with her, but the moments were so few and far between that she let it go. But she also knew that Callie was straight. Also, some girls were just naturally flirty people, in general. Or really friendly. And Callie was really friendly.

But, either way, she was a married woman. She might not have been wearing her ring, but it was in her pocket. Regardless of what was going on in her marriage. Which just brought her back to the fact that she desperately needed to find some way to re-find steady ground in the marriage that she felt like she was flailing in.

And she first step to that would really be to go home tonight, even if the idea of having one or two of those free bottles of alcohol at a club tonight would be really nice.

So she shook her head, "No, I really can't. Joanne and I have plans. But speaking of dancing with one person for the rest of your life – I thought you were officially done and off-call until after your honeymoon when you left last night?"

Now, as she gently padded the area in the chest that she was working on with gauze, she took a peek at Callie's face, which was readily facing downwards, as she took a few moments to answer, "Uh, well, yeah. I was. But I was worried about this guy right here."

If Arizona believed that, she would have been a fool, but it was none of her business. Much like the way Callie hadn't commented on the gossip and drama surrounding her marriage, she wasn't going to start anything up with her. She supposed that was the line that came between them – they weren't real friends; people who would talk about the real problems they had going on. They were work friends. Friendly hi-how-are-you-doing friends.

So, instead of commenting on the fact that while Callie might be a remarkably talented fifth-year resident, they did have an ortho fellow and attending who worked here, she just nodded, "That's super sweet of you. But when we're finished here, I, as your elder, declare that you have to get out of here and get ready for the best day of your life."

* * *

As music pumped through the club, the bass making her feel like the stool she was sitting on was moving, she tossed back two shots, grimacing as the liquid felt like it burned all the way down. That was how tequila always felt for the first few shots, but she'd get used to it soon enough and then they would go down smoother than butter.

Robbins had told her to leave after they'd scrubbed out, and she really should have left because she'd already taken care of her cases for the next week and taken her time off. But her house was overrun with too much _wedding_.

She'd met Justin nearly three years ago when he had come into the ER while she was in her second year of residency. He was smart and attractive; he'd asked her out and she'd been unattached and _had_ been unattached for a while. And he was in business, and it turned out he knew her dad. Both of her parents, actually, and they both liked him.

And she liked that they liked him.

Their entire relationship had been smooth and easy. So, when he proposed to her a year ago, she'd accepted. Because she _wanted_ to get married and to start having kids, and those were things that he wanted, too. In theory, it should have been perfect. Because Justin was, in theory, perfect. He never even had problems with how much she had to work, and had come to adjust his own working hours to fit hers.

He was great. So she really had no fucking clue as to why she wasn't feeling great.

Just as she tossed back another shot, an arm that she recognized slid over her shoulders, her sister's voice questioning, "We get into this amazing club because you've been talking about how you just want a night to dance for months and instead you're sitting at the bar?"

Forcing a laugh, she turned her head, "Sorry, I just had a long couple of days at the hospital. Jose Cuervo is looking really inviting to me, right now."

Aria's hand rubbed up and down on her arm, her eyes searching Callie's, "You're not having any regrets, right? Because if you are –"

Lifting her hand, she covered her sister's, "No, no regrets."

She couldn't tell if Aria believed her or not, but her sister just leaned in to whisper, "I'm just saying… Justin is great. But his sisters are insane. You're going to have to be their sister, forever, after tomorrow."

Now her laugh was genuine. Justin was the middle child and only boy, with two younger sisters and two older, and his sisters all lived in the Baltimore area, so she saw them fairly often. The Thieriot family was large and close. And his sisters were a little crazy. But they were always super nice and welcoming to her.

She wondered if they still would be if they knew her secret. The Thieriot sisters were the kind of people who discreetly made comments like "why do they have to do that" when a gay couple walked by holding hands in public. The one time she'd said something about it, they immediately shook their heads, saying things like they were fine with _it_ just they preferred if _they_ would keep _it_ private.

These people who were "going to be her sisters" wouldn't be so nice to her if they knew that she had been one of _them_. Well, Callie supposed she still was. There were times that she looked at other women – just certain women who caught her eye – and hungered more for them than she would admit.

But whatever. She wasn't marrying Justin's sisters and she didn't act on those rare cases of woman-want. She didn't even tell anyone about them.

As her own gave her one last shoulder rub and promised they would talk later before walking back to the dance floor, Callie turned back to the bar, gesturing for more shots.

She had no _reason_ to feel like this. No real reason. She did love Justin, she knew that. So she just didn't understand why she didn't feel the way she always thought she would feel the night before her wedding. It wasn't nerves, it wasn't excitement, and it wasn't dread. It felt more like indifference.

Indifference wasn't the feeling she wanted to feel before she walked down the aisle. When she'd dreamed of this day, she had always thought she would be so in love… that the person who would be waiting for her would be undeniably the love of her life.

Was Justin the love of her life? Because… if she had to question it, he probably wasn't. Right?

And _why_ couldn't he be, if he wasn't? Then again, there probably was no such thing as the love of a life. That was what she had dreamed of as a child. Snapping her head, up, she felt like a light bulb just went off. Maybe what she was thinking and feeling was the way love and wedding feelings were in real life, and what she'd always thought she should be thinking and feeling was lies!

She took another shot, the haze over her brain starting to kick in big time when she saw someone's purse plop down on the bar next to her, before turned to see a flash of blonde hair sit down next to her.

A smile spread over her face, "Robbins! I thought you weren't coming."

The expression on the other woman's face was somewhere between a scowl and a frown – or maybe it was both, her intoxicated mind was having just a little bit of trouble deciphering the difference – as Arizona gestured at the bartender for a drink, her voice growling out, "Yeah, well, I decided you were right. I do need a bottle. Or two."

Callie leaned back to see that the blonde was wearing jeans and a black button up top – the clothes that she'd probably worn straight from work. But she did wear them so well.

That rare woman-want? Was here.

On the night before her wedding where she was wondering where that missing piece of _whatever was missing that she couldn't name_ was… of course Arizona came. She liked… boobs. And Arizona had them.

She, too, gestured at the bartender.

Callie tossed back a shot, and Arizona's eyes latched onto her throat as she swallowed, the smooth, tan skin moving just a bit with the action, before that dark head lowered again and her hand slammed the shot glass back down, her eyes glassy as she leaned in to whisper, "Robbins, can I tell you something?"

It was wrong, so, so wrong, that the warm, tequila laced breath hitting her face, made her feel more aroused for this resident than she had for her wife in weeks. But knowing that it was wrong didn't stop her stomach from clenching and she turned her head, eyes widening at the closeness of those dark eyes, "Like a secret?"

A smile spread across the brunette's face, "Yeah, a secret."

Her long fingers came up to cup Arizona's chin, firmly turning her head so that the blonde was facing forward at the bar instead of her, "I used to date a woman."

There was no reason, none whatsoever, for those words to make her heart speed up. But it was pounding in her chest as she kept her eyes wide, focused on the liquor bottles lined up a few feet away, "Really?"

The low, intoxicated chuckle that Arizona sore she felt somehow touch the shell of her ear – nope, those were Callie's lips, she realized, when the brunette answered, "Yep. Years ago. In med school. But don't tell anyone."

And then the soft brushing of her lips was gone and Arizona still had goose bumps up and down her neck and arms because her ear still felt warm from Callie's breath. And then the bone breaking caramel hand that had been cupping her chin was gone, too and she was able to take a breath without feeling surrounded by the hot resident who, now that she was thinking with a clear head, was just drunk. She was not hitting on her.

Which was good, because Arizona didn't want her to be, because she was married.

Except, it was awful because as much as her mind could lie to her, her body didn't lie. Her body's reaction to having Callie's mouth touching her body, even in a barely there intoxicated way of simply talking too close, was strong and instantaneous. Which made her feel awful because no matter what was going on between her and Joanne, _she_ was not a cheater.

Nope, that would be her wife's role in their marriage.

The bitter thought made her scoff, perfectly able to imagine the scene she'd walked into right before she'd left the hospital a half hour ago. She was just going to tell her wife that she was going to head home and ask if she wanted her to pick up anything at the grocery store for her to make them dinner when she got out.

And what she had seen was Joanne laughing with her scrub nurse. The nurse who her wife had fucked behind her back. No, they weren't in an on-call room this time. They weren't even touching.

But knowing that Joanne was still talking to her, laughing with her, after she'd sworn that she wasn't… forgoing the wine that she had been planning on, she decided to go more of Callie's route. She hadn't ever held tequila well, but it also got her drunk faster than anything else used to. And after not getting drunk in many moons, she was sure it wasn't going to take long.

The effects of the alcohol were setting in by her third shot, and she had to blink a few times because she wasn't sure if the blurriness in her vision was from tears or… the haze starting in her head. Looking at Callie, who seemed to handle tequila shots much better than she was, she narrowed her eyes.

The dark eyes that she was so used to smiling at her while in the OR or lighting up as she told her a small story were miserable, "I know why _I'm_ miserable. Why are _you_? This is supposed to be your fun night."

Callie's lips, lips that Arizona was sure made one lucky wom – man – very happy, were turned down in a frown, "You first, Robbins."

Blue eyes narrowed and she tilted her head, "Why do you call me Robbins?"

A smile, a devious one, slid over her face, "Because I know it pisses off your wife. Robbins-_Carr_. Now, you show me yours and I'll show you mine."

For a moment, those words sunk into both of them, and Callie blushed just a little bit but didn't rephrase. They made Arizona, for the first time since getting married, fantasize about another woman "showing hers."

Which was wrong, and she cringed, before lifting her shot glass and tipping it upside down, swirling it lightly in a circle, now just thinking about Joanne and her nurse, her throat feeling tight and clogged, "My wife's having an affair. Had an affair. I don't know which one is the truth."

And she hated that. She hated that she could see right through Joanne when it came to some things, but on this, this thing that mattered so much… she couldn't tell at all.

"I know. I mean, everyone kind of knows. I'm sorry, Robbins," Callie's voice seemed lower now than usual, and one of her hands reached out to rest over Arizona's. She couldn't remember them ever touching before, aside from just in passing, and now her gaze was just stuck on where that tan hand was resting on hers in what was supposed to be a comforting touch. Her hand squeezed lightly, and then… stayed, as she whispered, "Um, when I first started, when I was an intern… in my first week, Joanne hit on me."

Those words seemed to hit her like a ton of bricks, and she sharply sat up, pulling her hand away, even as Callie shook her head, "I didn't – I didn't hit back."

And it was just too easy – easier than it should be – to picture it, and she shook her head, letting out a sigh, "You know, I'd love to say I'm surprised. I really would. But I'm not. Let's just say it's obviously not the first time," she said with a humorless laugh, reaching to pour herself another shot – the bottle had been left with them several shots ago.

Callie's hand pounded on the bar, "Why do you put up with that? Robbins, you're gorgeous! You're smart and you're funny and you're better than getting cheated on by Joanne Carr. Whew. I've been wanting to say that for a long time."

"Robbins-Carr," she corrected quietly, looking down at her hand, "We've… I first met her when I was sixteen years old. That's seventeen years ago. She's the only woman I've been with, seriously been with, in my entire life. We've been married for nine years. That's not – I can't just give up on that when things get rough."

Callie's big, dark eyes stared at her, visibly confused, "But that doesn't make any sense. You deserve better. You should find someone who treats you better. Who makes you want to wake up in the morning just to see them smile."

Arizona rolled her eyes, "That's not real life, Callie. Real life relationships take work. Is that how Justin makes you feel? I told you my story, now you tell me yours. Why are you sitting at the bar with me and getting wasted on a night where you wanted to be out dancing?"

But Callie's eyebrows just drew together and she shook her head, "I – I don't… I don't know." She cleared her throat, "I have to go to the bathroom."

She wobbled just a little on her heels as she pushed herself away from the bar, and Arizona grabbed her purse with the intention of leaving, because… that's what she should do before she got any more drunk than she was feeling already. But instead, she found herself following the brunette into the bathroom.

Callie looked up, those brown eyes surprised as they met hers in the mirror while she washed her hands. Arizona shut the door behind her, holding up her finger, "You know, he obviously doesn't make you feel like that waking up in the morning to see him smile feeling."

The taller woman turned, and the way she leaned back with her hands braced on the edge of the sink made her breasts strain against the material of her shirt. Arizona hadn't taken notice of another woman's breasts in… very long. She certainly hadn't let herself ever look at Callie's in any lingering glance, but they were a very good pair to linger on, she was discovering.

Even as her mind blamed the alcohol, she had trouble looking away, "Maybe _you_ are the one who deserves someone different. And listen to me, Callie, because marriage is something that you're… in. There's no going back. There… there's only that one person from there on out."

With every word that she said, she shuffled in closer, her feet feeling like they had a mind of their own. But she stopped right in front of her, before they made contact, and she watched as Callie swallowed hard, and Arizona followed her line of vision to where it was looking down her shirt.

That look… those already dark eyes darkening even more, the way they stared hungrily at her, made her feel more aroused than she had because of her own wife in months. And all she could see in her head was Joanne, laughing with that nurse. She wondered about the other women that there might have – must have – been that she didn't know about. All she let herself feel was that glorious feeling of just… being _wanted_.

It was with that feeling that she reached up to brace her hands on Callie's shoulders and got up on her tiptoes, to brush her lips over Callie's full ones, lips that she wasn't used to. They weren't Joanne's, they weren't the only lips she'd kissed in years.

They were plumper, softer, and they opened on this strangled whimper and groan combination that shot right through her.

The how was blurry in her mind, but she knew there was stumbling and her back had been slammed against a wall, and Callie's hand streaked down her body, fumbling with the button of her jeans and instead of opening her mouth to stop her, what came out was a whispered, "Touch me."

And then with Callie's hands frantically circling her clit, Arizona pressed her hips tighter against her, and her head fell forward onto the Latina's strong shoulder, and Callie's voice whispered into her ear, "Arizona."

That was all it took for her to fall into a sharp and quick but undeniably powerful orgasm, that made her legs quake, and even as it came to an end, before she was done shaking with aftershocks, the guilt and the shame came sneaking in, "Oh my god. I – I have a wife."

Callie's voice sounded more mystified than anything else, "I'm getting married tomorrow."

And then she felt the panic coming, and she reached down, grasping Callie around the wrist because her hand was _still in her pants_. The Latina's hand, still wet from her, fell limply at her side as Arizona dropped it, stopping all contact between them, bringing both of her hands up to press against her heating cheeks, "God. _God_. I just – we just – you just. We're never going to talk about this again. We – we were drunk. Things happen when people are drunk and unhappy, and – I have to go."

Redoing up the zip on her pants, she bent to grab the purse that she didn't remember dropping before standing, looking at the shocked look on Callie's face and – she didn't have any words for her. She just had to go.

Now. Good god, she might be sick.

* * *

As the sun came in through the colored glass windows of the church, Callie peered out into the crowd of people who had amassed for the wedding, all sitting in the pews. She could see Justin standing, tall and broad-shouldered. He filled out his tuxedo so well, and the smile on his face was crooked and bright as he spoke animatedly with his best man.

And of their own accord, her eyes roamed the packed pews, searching for a different blonde. Not her fiancé, but the blonde that she had actually had sex with last night. Who was not here, though she'd been invited and had RSVP'd months ago.

The blonde _woman_ she had had sex with last night. Well, she didn't come – Arizona hadn't even touched her. Did it still count as sex for her? Yes. Because her hand could still feel Arizona's heat on it.

She was so confused as to how she let it happen. Yes, it had been quick and nearly mindless and she'd had more than her fair share of tequila, but it wasn't a drunk blur for her. She remembered it all. In vivid, slow motion.

Did Arizona tell Joanne about it? Was that why she wasn't here? Or maybe she wasn't here because she wasn't going to be able to look at Callie again. Because the way those blue eyes had looked last night as she'd fled the bathroom had not been a good look.

God. She wasn't feeling indifferent right now. Her stomach was knotted up so tight she felt like she wanted to vomit. But today was the day that, for better or for worse, Callie was supposed to become legally bound to someone else. Someone else who was a nice, handsome, intelligent man who wanted the same things that she wanted.

She shouldn't feel like this. These feelings, these feelings she couldn't quite name that she was feeling toward Justin, toward Arizona, and about herself were… they were just about enough to make her sick. Could she do this? Should she do this?

Then the organ started to play, and she jumped as she felt a hand lightly touch her back, and her dad's voice was behind her, "Calliope? Are you ready?"

It was biggest, best day of her life, right?

* * *

**This chapter was entirely too amusing for me to write. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!**


	11. Pre-Ceremony

Arizona's stomach churned so violently it woke her with a start, a gasping breath tearing out of her throat. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as the dream she'd just had still vividly replayed in her head.

Her hands came up to pat against her torso to make sure she was still there and real and whole, as if she just had a horrifying nightmare that had revolved around her dismemberment rather than what is actually had been about. Quickly, her hands then sought each other out and her right ran over her left, finding comfort in the ring that she found there. Just to be sure, her eyes squinted in the dark room that was just beginning to be brightened by the morning sun to seek out the ring.

Sure enough, it was the gold band that Callie had put on her and not the one she'd just dreamed was on her hand. When her dream-self had been married to _Joanne_. Jesus, it had felt so real.

And Callie had been getting married! She wasn't sure what was haunting her more; that she was married to someone who wasn't her fiancée or that Callie had been going to get married to someone who wasn't her. The dream was just so clear to her, which didn't make sense because it was very rare for her to remember her dreams at all, let alone in such clear detail.

Despite the fact that it was barely six in the morning – she couldn't believe she had only been asleep for less than four hours – she desperately wanted to reach for her phone and call Callie. Even more so now than she had earlier. That dream left her feeling shaken and she just wanted –

It was at that moment that an incredibly familiar light snore met her ears, and every weird, awful, shaky feeling that the dream had left behind melted away. Rolling onto her side, she was met with the most welcome sight she could imagine; Callie lying on her back, one arm flung out into the middle of the bed, her hand outstretched as if it had been reaching for Arizona, while the other one was curled over her abdomen.

Ridiculously relieved, she scooted over and curled herself into that curvy one that was under their comforter. She could feel soft fabric under her cheek as she rested it on Callie's shoulder, and she knew that adorning that body was one of her Harvard undergrad shirts that was now over a decade old. Peeking open a blue eye, she noted the slight tear near in the neckline and knew instantly which one it was.

It was the same shirt that Callie had given her to wear on the very first night they had ever spent together. And she knew that the Latina had chosen to wear that shirt the night before their wedding on purpose.

God, she loved her so much. Leaning her head forward, she pressed her lips against the warm flesh of Callie's throat, smiling as she heard and felt a moan rumble there. A sleepy, sexy moan, and she dragged her mouth up the side of that tan neck, biting down lightly on her earlobe before whispering, "Calliope, wake up."

"Mmm," was what met her ears, a telltale sign that the taller woman was slowly waking, as she felt that long arm curl up behind her to cup the back of her neck.

Shifting, she lifted her leg to throw it over her fiancée's hip, pushing herself up onto her elbow, so she could look down at her. A pale hand came up to stroke her finger down Callie's cheek and she followed it's path with her nose, nuzzling it in against her and inhaling, "Baby, get up. When did you get here? I thought you wanted us to be all… traditional and not see each other until we were going to be in full bridal mode?"

Those dark brown eyes opened and Arizona could feel her eyelashes flutter open and blink a few times against her forehead, her voice rough with sleep as her hand loosened in it's grip to slide down Arizona's spine, "I couldn't sleep at the hotel. It took me hours before I could even doze and I had the weirdest dream –"

Arizona pushed herself up, her mouth falling open, "You, too?" Because she knew it was impossible to actually share a dream with someone, but… shaking her head, she went back down to rest her head against Callie, "I just… had the strangest dream. Keep going."

A quiet chuckle made the body she was half on top of bounce, "Okay. Well, yes, I had the worst dream and I woke up from it sweating and feeling like I was going to throw up. That was about…" she lifted her head to see the clock that was on Arizona's side of the bed, "An hour ago. And even though I wanted to spend the night apart, I realized I was being an idiot. Why do we ever listen to my plans?"

Letting out a lofty sigh, she shrugged, "I like to let you feel important."

Callie nodded, "Right, that _must be it._ So there I am, in the hotel room, trying to go back to sleep, but I couldn' didn't smell like you or our bed and Aria was there snoring – how do you deal with me snoring every night?"

She laughed, tracing her hands in light patterns on Callie's chest that the t-shirt just barely revealed, "I like when you snore," she admitted, thinking about how the sound had long since become somewhat of a lullaby to her, "Being here _without_ you snoring makes it hard for me to fall asleep."

That big, smile that was kind of lopsided in Callie's morning waking stage slid over her face, "You're a weirdo."

Digging her fingertips on the hand that had been thrown over that shapely abdomen into Callie's side, she pouted up at her, "If I'm a weirdo, what does that make you?"

"It makes me the one who's in love with and marrying a weirdo. So I guess I'm even weirder?" she yawned, and Arizona nodded, lifting herself even more so that she could move her hand to slip under the hem of that sleep shirt and make contact with the skin underneath.

Leaning in again, she lightly nibbled on Callie's bottom lip, "And then I'm marrying you, who's even weirder, so that makes me even weirder, and then that makes you even weirder…" she trailed off, then sucked that plump lip into her mouth.

Callie dug her head back into the pillow to pull just inches away, "It's just a vicious circle." And then one of her hands tangle in messy blonde locks, pulling Arizona back down to meet her, Those sleepy eyes stared right into hers as a tongue traced over Arizona's top lip, and this time she was the one who groaned. That long fingered hand slid even lower on her back, and she knew what was coming even before Callie dipped under the waist of the underwear she'd been sleeping in.

Breaking their kiss, she lowered her head back down to her neck, sucking on the skin there while being extremely mindful about the fact that Callie, merely hours from now, would be in a strapless dress. But after having a dream like the one she'd just woken up from, in world where Callie wasn't hers, made her want to dig in her teeth just to reassure that she was hers and that she was there.

And those little whimpers and the way the brunette angled her head in the perfect way to give her more room wasn't helping that urge. To hold herself back, she trailed her open mouth down a little farther, flipping her tongue out and over the hollow at the bottom of her throat. Heat shot through her and landed in her center when Callie's hand slid up and flicked over her nipple at the same time that her nails dug into her ass.

Arching back, she pushed herself more firmly into the hand cupping her butt, moving her mouth away from Callie's neck, "Hmm, I thought that our secret spa sex yesterday was the last time before we were officially wife and wife?"

Because it definitely wasn't going to be if they kept this up.

The smile that Callie gave to her was devious, "I thought we both just agreed that anything that I do or say is not to be listened to? Besides, I think one last time before we're married, in our bed and not at the spa, is kind of mandatory."

Nodding, blue eyes sought out brown ones and she smiled before lowering her head once more, their lips meeting slowly, languorously, as if they were both in agreement. Callie's hands slid up, thumbs hooking in the sides of her underwear and starting to slide them down before pausing to sit them both up. Arizona seamlessly shifted with her, and they both worked to pull her panties off before Callie dropped them over the edge of the bed.

She moved her own hands down to that curvy waist, only to find that under that worn oversized shirt, there was nothing there. Lifting an eyebrow, she asked, "Did you sneak into our bed with the intention of getting lucky?"

Callie laughed, both of her hands coming up to push back Arizona's tumbled hair, before bringing her closer, "It's possible."

Running her hands to the bottom of that gray shirt, she caught her fingertips on the edges and pulled up, Callie lifting her arms to work with the removal. As soon as the shirt left her hands, she ran them up over that tan stomach until she reached those perfect boobs. The shuddering breath that left the brunette as she ran her fingertips over hardening tips, made them heave and Arizona's throat was dry.

"You too," Callie prompted, her hands tugging at Arizona's sleep shirt, and discarding it somewhere that Arizona didn't see nor care about. Her hands immediately came down to place light caresses down Arizona's thighs before sliding under them and lifting, adjusting them so that her legs were on either side of Callie's hips.

Their cores were so close but not touching and she could already feel the heat radiating off of Callie, making her eyes want to roll back inside of her head. Her hips jumped forward of their own accord, and the arms that Callie had banded around her tightened, as she took in a sharp breath, "God, Arizona."

Running her own hands up that long, caramel back, delighting in the feel of all of that soft skin beneath her hands, pleasure coursing through her as Callie started to roll her hips. She knew that it wasn't going to take long. Because they were getting _married_ today and she had never felt more connected to anyone before in her life and she never would.

One of those skillful hands scratched down her back, making her arch her chest against Callie's before it came around and reached down, finding her clit. Even with her eyes closed because shit, her fiancée was _so good_, her hands slid from where they had been resting tangled in that black hair, down so that her palms pressed against pebbled nipples.

The answering moan made her eyes roll back. Running her fingers down, she rolled and tugged the way she knew Callie liked best and in response, the hand rubbing between her legs went even faster. Her head fell back on a long groan, but her hand reached down to grab Callie's wrist, her fingers pausing.

Before the question forming on those full lips could be voiced, she pushed herself forward, their torsos melding together as Callie fell on her back and she fell on top of her. Working her hand down, she slipped two fingers into Callie, the slick heat gripping her and then the hand that was working at her own center mimicked her movements. They fell into an unhurried rhythm, the bedroom filling with their moans and whimpers as they both worked themselves closer and closer to their peaks.

Pressing her sweat slicked forehead against Callie's, she panted, "Ke – keep your eyes open," because she wanted to look into the pleasure blurred chocolate ones when she reached her release.

The fingers moving inside of her quickened just a bit, as her fiancée whimpered back, "Yes."

The hand that wasn't working magic on her, came up to cup the back of her neck, and she knew that Callie was close just by the way she was tightening around her fingers, "Don't come yet," the words left her on a whimper as she felt herself coming closer to the edge.

Callie's hips bucked up against her, "I can't wait – much – longer."

"I just need…" she broke off on a moan as Callie scissored her fingers deep inside of her, then pulled out and repeated it in a flurry of motions. Interlocking their hands tightly, she grunted, "Now. Come now."

The hand that Callie had gripping the hair at the back of her neck pulled hard and she gasped with the force of it, the sharp draw sparking her orgasm. Collapsing on top of her fiancée, her body continued to quake.

Forcing a deep breath into her lungs, she sighed, nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck, "God, I am so glad we got one last round of that in before we get married."

"I'm so glad we got another round of that in before we're both probably going to pass out after getting so few hours of sleep last night," Callie said, still catching her own breath.

Putting both of her hands on either side of Callie's head, she pushed herself up, so she could give her an incredulous look, "Um, Calliope, I hate to burst your bubble, but we'll both be staying up late tonight. And having lots and lots of sex before we get on our plane to Spain tomorrow morning."

Pearly white teeth dug into her bottom lip as Callie moved her head back and forth, "Well, excuse me. I guess if we're going to have to have sex tonight – Oh!" Her eyes widened and she drew her nails down Arizona's side, making her shiver, before giving her a light swat on the butt, "Roll over, I have something to show you."

Instead of rolling, she dropped her head back down to it's place on the body below, her limbs feeling deliciously heavy and slow, "I don't wanna move. You feel good," she shimmied her body a little bit, loving how their breasts pressed into one another's.

Callie rolled her eyes, "Like I can't move you?" and wrapped her legs around the backs of Arizona's thighs and rolled them so the blonde was on her back, planting a smacking kiss on her lips before disentangling herself and rolling to the edge of the bed, reaching down and moving some stuff aside as she tried to fish out something.

Curious, she scooted herself so that she could see over her shoulder, "What are you grabbing?"

With a small, "Aha!" Callie sat back up, leaning against the pillows and gesturing for Arizona to follow.

She did so without hesitation, settling back and lifting an eyebrow at the clearly old, worn hard covered book, "Is this a scrap book?"

A dark head nodded, "Mhmm," she flipped open the cover and pointed to the writing on the inside over, which read _Callie Torres' Dream Book_, "Aria and I both made these when we were sent to summer camp. She found mine in our parents' attic and surprised me with it last night."

"You went to summer camp? I guess after years there _are_ still things that I don't know about you," as the words left her mouth, her hands reached down and traced over the writing on the page, "But I have to say, I didn't imagine little rich girls going off to summer camp."

Callie barked out a laugh, "We went to a summer camp that was filled with other little rich girls. Instead of making beaded necklaces or whatever else people did at arts and crafts, we made scrap books."

There was a page marked off with ribbon and Callie reached up to turn it, explaining, "Aria bookmarked this to bring it tonight to show off to anyone who wants to see it."

She slid the book over to Arizona's lap, and she took it, smiling at the pictures that were there. There was little Callie, in a flower girl dress, that captioned about how that was the beginning of the wedding dream, "You look so freaking cute," she ran her thumb over the thing plastic covering on the page, over her Callie's cheek in the picture.

"That was my uncle's wedding. I was six, and everything just looked so beautiful. And you could just _feel_ the happiness and the love; I can still remember it," her tone was dreamy, and she lifted up her arm, draping it over Arizona's shoulders, and she turned her head to press her lips against the blonde's ear, "And now it's our beautiful day, where people will be able to feel _our_ happiness and love."

Her words made Arizona's heart skip a beat, and she turned her head as well, to meld them against Callie's. As she was wont to do, she brought her hand up off the book and trailed it up Callie's stomach, coming to cup her boob.

Just as she had maneuvered them so that Callie was on her back, their bedroom door opened and her mother's voice rang out, "Arizona, it's time –"

She cut herself off as Arizona and Callie separated and reached down to hastily pull some sort of blankets up over them. Burying her face into the pillow next to her fiancée's head, she could feel Callie smoothing the comforter over their bodies, and after a deep breath, she turned onto her back, lifting her eyebrows at the older woman, "Um, good morning."

Really, she just thanked god that it wasn't her dad. Because even though they were in her apartment and that it was her wedding day… she just couldn't handle that with the Colonel.

Her usually unflappable mom had averted her eyes to the floor and Arizona could see her flushed face from across the room as she asked, "Are you two… covered?"

Callie's hand was covering her face as she groaned, "Yes."

Barbara looked back up, "Well, that was surprising. I thought you were sleeping at the hotel last night?"

"I was going to; I did. I didn't come here until a few hours ago," she explained, her hand still firmly covering her embarrassed face.

Smoothing her hands down the top of the blanket, Arizona looked up at her mom, "Uh, you came in here for a reason?"

Which got her mom to nod, clapping her hands together, "Absolutely! We're supposed to be leaving to get your hair done at eight, and we were going to meet in the kitchen at seven for breakfast?"

"Yeah? So –" her eyes darted toward the clock then widened in surprise, "It's seven-twenty?"

She could feel with how close she was to Callie her heart quicken as she looked at the clock to confirm, "Shit! I'm supposed to get breakfast with my family in ten minutes. Aria didn't even know I left."

Her mom nodded, "Yes, she called me. I told her I didn't know where you were, but now… well, it makes sense now. I'll call her back for you while you two get dressed."

When the door shut behind her they both let out deep breaths, and Arizona couldn't help but giggle, "Thirty-three years old and my mom just walked in on me about to have sex." She giggled even harder, "On my wedding day."

Callie joined in her laughter before settling back onto the pillows for a few seconds, "I should get going; Aria is going to be pissed." She turned to look at Arizona, bringing up her hand to cup her face, thumb tracing a circle on her jaw, and the movement was just so sweet Arizona closed her eyes to take it in. Callie connected their lips once, just briefly, and she could feel the smile on them, "I'll see you in a few hours."

Before she could pull away, Arizona lifted her hands to tangle into that dark hair and pull her in for another kiss, "Mmm, I love you."

The Latina was dressed and sent her one of her blinding smiles less than a minute later, "Happy wedding day."

Grinning, she flopped onto her back against the pillows as Callie shut the door, and looked down at her ring again, as it now glinted slightly in the sun that was streaming in through the windows. She was getting married today. She was getting married today to the woman that she loved more than anything; the woman who made her want to get married.

But before the actual wedding ceremony there were hours of preparation to put in. And her mom was waiting for her to get started, not to mention that they were meeting Teddy soon, too. Sitting up, she started to scoot out of the bed, but stopped when something hard bumped into her hip.

Frowning, she pulled back the covers until she could pull out the Callie Torres Dream Book. Feeling a small smile play at her lips again, she flipped it open again to the ribboned off page, and the large lettering at the top drew her attention.

"Stage 2."

Curious, she flipped to the beginning, where Stage 1 was written. Becoming a surgeon. The pages there were detailed with pictures and writing about what exactly she wanted to do and why. The dreams of a young girl had come to fruition.

Stage 2 was marriage, and she felt a surge of incredible pride knowing that she was the one who was making this come true. Flipping the pages forward, she came to the beginning of Stage 3. And then she paused, her stomach sinking.

* * *

Callie stood in front of the mirror, her hands coming up to smooth down the perfect bodice that didn't need to be smoothed down. Smiling at herself, she bit her lip. This was happening. This was really happening.

Today was the day that she was going to marry Arizona Robbins.

Actually, it was going to happen in less than an hour. God, the warm, fuzzy feelings she was having in her stomach didn't even seem real. They seemed like something straight out of a fairy tale. Like real people didn't have these kinds of feelings.

But she did, and she was going to be able to have them, officially, forever.

Then there were those leaping frogs in her stomach at the fact that she was going to be reading her vows aloud in front of so many people. Closing her eyes, she tried to calm herself by picturing Arizona standing in front of her. Just Arizona.

And she repeated the words she'd written down and memorized by heart, "The first night I met you, I remember that I was mesmerized by your smile and how it showed your dimples, and now I know that your smile is made of magic. And if there's a day that goes by that I don't see it, it's a day wasted. So, here I am, making the world a better place by choosing you to be the one with whom I spend my life. To promise to make you smile, every single day –"

At the knock on the door to the room she was in, she opened her eyes, calling out, "Aria, I told you that you don't have to keep knocking before you come in."

As the door opened, it wasn't Aria's voice that she heard, but Arizona's, "It's, um, it's not Aria."

Even though it was her dumb idea to have them prepare separately, she was glad the blonde decided to break that rule. Much like every other idea she'd thought she'd wanted for a "traditional" type wedding. Grinning, she spun around.

She'd known what Arizona's dress looked like because they'd found their perfect dresses on the same day, and she'd seen it several times since then. But to see it, like it was tailor made to fit that slim body that she loved, cascading down… it was perfect. Her eyes slowly roamed up from the ground, taking in every inch of it.

Only to see the look on Arizona's face. And just by that look alone, she her heart leapt to her throat because she knew that something was really wrong. Nervous, she stepped forward, "Arizona, baby, what's wrong?"

The way Arizona's hands fiddled together was a definite sign that something was absolutely not right, and then when those clear blue eyes looked up into hers, she could feel her palms start to sweat, "Seriously, you need to tell me what's going on because I'm starting to freak out."

Arizona licked her lips, then had to clear her throat before she reached out for Callie's hands. She took them quickly because she needed to feel the connection they'd always had. And even though it was there, she could feel it, something was off.

Then she spoke, "What about kids, Calliope?"

Her eyebrows shot up on her forehead, "What do you mean?"

That seemed to be the wrong choice of words, and Arizona tugged on her hands, impatient, "We said a long time ago that we were going to talk about kids when you were thirty-five. But that's in three years and our wedding is – is _now_. How could we have not talked about this before now?"

Those wide cerulean eyes looked up into hers, imploring her for an answer that she didn't have. But the look in them was starting to make her panic, "I – we – I don't know, Arizona. Honestly, I just kind of gave up on the idea that I would ever have them."

It appeared that what she said was the wrong thing to say, because Arizona's baby blues filled with tears that tore right through her. Even as the blonde's hands flexed in the manner by which Callie knew she wanted to let go, but she held tight because the feeling in the pit of her stomach, the fear inside, was too unsettling for her to drop.

"You changed my life. You changed… me, in the best possible way I could have ever imagined. When we met, I didn't think it was possible for me to love anyone as much as I love you. I never thought that I would want this, want to be standing here, making vows. But I do want this, so much; you made this my dream as well as yours. And I want to spend my entire life making all of your dreams come true," Arizona spoke, and the words melted her before she continued, "Those are the vows I wrote for you. But… kids, Calliope. I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want them."

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out and she shook her head, "Arizona, please, just –"

Those tears spilled over, and now she let go of one of those pale hands so she could use her thumbs to wipe them away. She took comfort in the way she turned her head into the touch, but just a little, because the panicked feeling wouldn't leave her.

Especially when Arizona drew back, "You dream of having children. You always have. And I can't be the reason that you're not going to have all of your dreams. I _won't_."

Callie could feel her heart pounding in her chest and her own chest and throat clogged with tears, "You're not – Arizona, stop –"

"I love you, so much, Calliope. But I can't marry you."

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! I appreciate all of your feedback on the last chapter. I'm still unsure of whether or not I'll continue it or make it into it's own story, but who knows? **

**In other news, I now have a tumblr, and the URL is the same as my handle on here, so if you want to chat or ask me anything, then feel free!**


	12. One More Night

As soon as the words hung heavy in the air around them, Arizona wanted to take them back. She wanted to close her eyes and rewind the entire day, back to just when she woke up this morning, before she flipped through the many pages describing Callie's dream of being a mother, down to possible baby names that young Callie thought were impossibly beautiful.

But she couldn't, and she couldn't stop the way her tears kept coming out, like it wasn't _her_ fault, like she wasn't the one doing this. And she couldn't for the life of her stop looking at Callie's face, the radiant glow that had been on tan skin completely gone and replaced by a frightening pallor that she'd never seen before.

"Calliope –" she started, but the name that fell from her lips was unrecognizable with the way her throat felt like it was constricting.

And then Callie just shook her head, her eyes narrowing which made the tears that had been building in those big brown eyes spill down her cheeks. But her voice was surprisingly strong, "No. No, Arizona, no. The only way I'm letting you leave here today without being married to me is if you look me in the eyes and you tell me that you don't want to marry me. Not that you _can't_ for any reason, but that you don't want to."

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes and tried to draw in a deep breath, to make her heart stop pounding, "I… I can't say that. You know I can't say that." Because somehow, once upon a time, marriage wouldn't be what she wanted. But she now wanted nothing more than to continue on like this day was planned. To anxiously wait for Callie to walk down the aisle to her. To know that the jaw-droppingly beautiful woman in white, who was the best combination of funny, smart, and brilliant would be her wife.

But how could they do that when there was this huge, huge life altering, _defining_ thing that they'd left unspoken for so long?

Callie's grip, the one that she'd initially fought because she didn't know if she could say everything she had to say with those hands on her, tightened and the strong tone she'd just had was completely gone, and the roughness of her voice dug right into Arizona's stomach, "Tell me."

Now instead of pulling away because she just _couldn't_, she turned her hands to grasp Callie back, "I can't! I can't tell you that, Calliope, because I want to marry you. I want you, and you and me, forever. If this was just about that, about us, then there would be no question. No hesitation. And I would put that ring on your finger and I would take you to Spain every single year on our wedding anniversary. Or anywhere else you wanted to go." The words came out of her in a ramble, as she thought about the random conversations they'd had while lying in bed in the past few months, talking about what they would do every year on their wedding anniversary, "But that's not all this is."

"Yes it is!" her voice had that tone, the one that pleaded with her to understand where she was coming from, "A wedding is about two people. I am in love with you, I've been in love with you for over six years, and I_ know_ you're in love with me."

With a deep breath, she ran her hand through her hair that had been perfectly curled, "Of course I'm in love with you! If I didn't love you so much, then this wouldn't be an issue. But I need to think about you before I think about me," all she could hear – all she'd been able to hear all morning – was her dad's voice from last night, repeating _her happiness, her wants, and needs; it'll be on you._

It was on her. Swallowing hard, she flexed her hands in the caramel ones that she knew so well; that knew her so well, and her voice was ragged, "It's on me. Your dreams are on me. And if there was anything you wanted or needed, I would give it to you. But a child isn't just about you and being able to give you what you need."

Now it was Callie pulling her hands away as her breath trembled out and the broken sound of it made her feel like she was being stabbed in the heart, "Why are we doing this now? Why is this coming up right _now_?"

Both of their gazes fell to the other's dress, and she just felt so… words couldn't even describe it. Awful. Guilty… she was convinced that there were no words that would accurately capture the feeling that was in her chest and squeezing her heart so acutely, "After you left… I tried to imagine having a baby with you. And it would be so cute and so perfect because it would look like you. And I told myself that if that was what you wanted, the little chubby hands and messiness, then I could do it, for you. But that's not what a baby deserves. And I've been trying to call you all morning after that, to talk to you so that it wasn't –" she cut herself off, looking around the room, "So that we weren't here, but you haven't answered."

She'd called so much her mother and Teddy were both so exasperated they'd threatened the take the cell phone away from her and throw it away. Because she didn't want it to come to this. "And I didn't even think about it until this morning because… I don't think about them," she admitted.

"Well, what are we supposed to do then?" Callie's voice was raised, and unlike she'd ever heard it.

God, she thought she was going to be sick, "I don't –" she broke off, licking her lips and rolling her eyes to the ceiling, hoping that it would stop the crying that seemed to be getting stronger despite how hard she was trying to control it, "I didn't come into here planning on calling off the wedding, Calliope." She'd come in here to see her fiancée in her wedding dress. To simply hear and feel the reaffirmation that they wanted the same things and that they were meant to be together. But the way Callie had hesitated, and the way her confirmation hadn't been so sure… "I just… I need you to tell me what you're thinking. I need you to talk to me."

Because she'd laid all of her thoughts out on the table. And despite it all, despite the gut wrenching feeling inside of her that everything seemed like it was caving in, she still had this tiny hope. That Callie would tell her what she needed to hear. That Callie one day wouldn't need children to make her feel happy and whole. Children that Arizona didn't want right now, and, at thirty-three, didn't know if she would ever want.

And then the smooth tan shoulders that were usually so strong and perfectly postured slumped and Callie's face crumpled, "What is it that you want me to say, Arizona?" the desperation in her voice was so clear, "What is it? Do you need me to say that when I see a baby that looks remotely like you or me that I don't briefly imagine what having a baby with you would be like? Do you want me to say that when Dani calls specifically to talk to you on the phone, I don't think about how great of a mother you would make to a child that we had?" she finished, her tone near hysterics.

"Yes!" She yelled back, all of her breath leaving her in a rush, "Yes, I need to hear you say that! I need to hear that you really don't _need_ something to make you happy that I can't promise to give you."

The way Callie's mouth opened and closed once, then twice, releasing a shuddering breath, confirmed everything before she spoke again, "I can't say that. Because I _do_ think those thoughts. And I can't control them. I do have thoughts about children, because I do want them."

As soon as the words burst from those full lips, the perfect shade of red, silence filled the room, a greater presence that it should have been, and it was crushing. Callie looked surprised at her own words, and the only thing that either of them could hear was their breathing, and then they both jumped as the door behind them opened with a flourish.

Aria walked in, a huge smile on her face, "My dear bride to be sister, only a half hour until –" as soon as she got a look at their faces, she cut herself off, "What's going on?"

"Get out," Callie ordered her, and the younger Torres didn't question her or hesitate before reversing her motions so quickly it would have been comical in any other situation.

But right now, it just made their resounding, stifling silence come back. Her vision was still blurry with the tears that she'd shed, but she didn't take it away from Callie, who was still staring at the door, as she asked, "So what are we going to do? Because we're supposed to get married in thirty minutes and we have all of our friends and family sitting out there, waiting for us to walk down the aisle."

As soon as they were facing each other again, Arizona moved so quickly she didn't even realize fully realize it, so she was standing right in front of Callie again. Her hands were shaking when she lifted them, connecting her fingertips lightly right under those expressive dark eyes collecting the moisture there, but then resting on the soft skin, "I love you, Calliope. And if you tell me right now… if you can tell me that somewhere inside of your beautiful heart that you aren't secretly counting on the fact that one day I'll change my mind about children and that you know that you won't wake up one day and resent me for that, then I will never bring this up or make you feel this way ever again. Then I will be the best wife that you could ever imagine having, if you'll still have me."

All she needed were those honest words and then she would spend the rest of her like making up for this moment in time. She would do whatever Callie wanted or needed in order to forget her saying that she couldn't get married today, as long as they were both going to get married with the same plans for the future.

The dark eyes that so easily revealed her emotions stared into Arizona's and she could feel her heart constrict inside of her chest as she waited for the answer.

* * *

She felt… empty inside. She'd never felt like this before, not once in her entire life, and it – hurt. Callie didn't think that feeling empty should hurt, because it should feel like nothing, right? Wasn't that the definition of emptiness? Nothing?

When a hand landed on her upper back, rubbing in circles, she knew just by the feeling that it was Aria. But the circles she was rubbing in her back were supposed to feel comforting and she didn't feel the least bit comforted. In fact, she felt like she was going to be sick, much like she had for the last two hours.

Aria's voice was low as she sat on the bench next to her, "Everyone's gone. Finally."

It had been officially one hundred and twenty-four minutes since she was supposed to have been married. Since the wedding bands, identical except for the gold/white gold difference to match their engagement rings would have been slipped onto her hand, forever. Until everything had exploded.

Aria was still dressed in her bridesmaid dress as she sat down next to her, "I can't believe Arizona did this today –"

Callie just shook her head, eyes stuck to the floor in front of her as she still sat on one of the benches in the room she'd been in where _it_ all happened, "It wasn't just her. It – I was wrong, too. _She_ tried to talk to me about it as soon as it occurred to her," the words left her on a hoarse whisper, barely recognizable.

She was holding her cell phone tightly in her hands; Aria had taken it early in the morning before their day of primping and preparing began and, as well as her own, had shut them off. At the time, it had seemed like a good idea. Now… now that she saw the twenty-three missed calls and the three desperate voicemails from Arizona… now it seemed like the worst fucking idea Aria had ever had.

Forcing herself to keep going, she bowed her head, "She told me as soon as she thought about it. I'm the one who's actually thought about having children in the last few months and… I didn't say anything about it because I just – I know she doesn't want them. We've talked about it before. But, she was _right_. Because I do some day think that she's going to want kids."

Frustrated, she drew her hand through her hair, "Because who _doesn't_ want them, Aria? Everyone in some way, has to, right? And she works with them, every day! She brings home drawings that her kids make her, things that are supposedly giraffes but really, they look like scribbles – and she loves them. She loves children. And she loves me. So I just don't… why can't she love having a child with me?"

Her breath caught in her throat, and she didn't resist the urge to throw her phone down onto the ground and bury her face in her hands. She'd barely managed to stop crying in the last hour. Her eyes felt puffy and they stung and she just… wanted to know how everything got so messed up.

One minute she was going to be walking down the aisle and the next – the next her own hushed words about how she couldn't say that she wouldn't ever want kids had come out of her mouth. What she'd been planning on doing when Arizona asked for her confirmation was to look into those large, searching blue eyes and tell her that she didn't know for sure about kids, but she knew that she loved her.

Aria's hand was still on her, gently rubbing in between her shoulder blades, "Cal… I feel where you're coming from. Because Dani, Julian, and Gaby are the best things in my life, and without them, I wouldn't feel like a whole person. And I want you to feel like that, too. So, I don't know where Arizona is coming from, but I do know that –" she cut herself off and shook her head instead of finishing.

But Callie was _this close_ to having a complete meltdown and her sister hiding her thoughts was not helping her, "What? Just say it."

She sighed, "I do know that if Felix hadn't wanted children, I wouldn't have wanted to have them with him. Because… they do deserve to be born to parents who want them."

She didn't answer; couldn't answer. Because she knew that. Logically, she knew that. And she knew that there was nothing wrong with not wanting kids. But… taking in a deep breath, it came out on a shudder and her eyes filled again despite herself trying to blink them back, "Today was going to be perfect."

And now… it was the worst one of her life.

Aria went to retrieve her phone, then came to stand in front of her, gently reaching down to take her hands and tug her upwards, "Come on. Let's go back to the hotel."

Callie allowed herself to be pulled into standing, feeling like some sort of zombie. An empty zombie living in some surreal world. The rest of the day felt like a blur to her, and she just went along with what her sister instructed until late at night. Late at night when she missed Arizona and she was still confused and hurt and angry, at herself as much as her fianc-

Well, she guessed she wasn't her fiancée anymore, was she? Was she? Was she her girlfriend? What were they now? Because she just didn't know. Despite the not knowing, she left to go back to their home. Back to Arizona, because all she could see in her mind was the way blue eyes had filled with tears as she'd turned to leave.

She didn't know what they were going to say to each other when she did see her. She… didn't know anything anymore. And when she found herself outside of their apartment, her hand shook when she put the key into the lock, and turned the doorknob. Closing it behind her, she walked inside, and somehow felt both better and worse, being surrounded by all of their things.

And then she reached the living room, and stopped dead in her tracks. Tissues littered the coffee table, because that was the only surface that was close enough to where Arizona was lying on the couch, her eyes closed, breathing even. She was dressed in a pair of baggy sweatpants and one of their large sleep shirts, and she looked… awful.

She looked like Callie felt. And just seeing here there made her heart just _hurt_ in this inexplicable way that she'd never experienced before. Going to sit on the edge of the couch, she hesitated before reaching out to run her fingers over the soft blonde hair, and immediately those clear blue eyes opened, and they were still red rimmed as Arizona's voice, the kind of throaty sound it was only ever reaching that exact tone after long bouts of crying, "Calliope. I didn't think you were going to come home."

Everything felt so… unnatural between them right now. Unnatural in a way that it never had before, and she hated it. She hated it so much, "I didn't know if I was going to. But…" she trailed off, moving her eyes from Arizona's face, to the coffee table, "We have stuff to talk about. And I couldn't sleep with all of it running around in my head."

What was the matter with the two of them? It was all she could think. Why did they spend so many years together, why did they come to this point, fully knowing that they wanted different things? Why, when the only thing to do at this point seemed like it was going to completely rip out her heart?

And even though it was the only thing that was on her mind, she _could not_ say the words. They formed in her throat and then dissolved into more tears.

But Arizona said it for both of them as she drew up her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and her voice was so small, so scratchy, that Callie knew it was killing her to say, "We… we're breaking up."

And just that, just hearing those words out loud and tangible, had her closing her eyes tightly but it did nothing to make her eyes stop burning and that nauseous feeling that she'd had earlier came rushing back, stronger now, "I don't want to. I'm – I'm so mad at you and me, at both of us, for today. I'm mad and I'm embarrassed and I'm… and I'm so in love with you that breaking up doesn't even seem like a real concept."

It didn't, because… Arizona was her _life_ for six years.

Her eyes closed of their own volition when Arizona rested her head against her shoulder and she could feel her tremble, and without looking at her, she knew just by the pattern of her breathing, that she was crying, too.

"But there's no turning back from today, is there? I've been sitting here, all day, wondering what's _wrong_ with me? I _want_ so badly to want what you want, Calliope, and –" that was all she got out before she pressed her forehead against Callie's shoulder, rubbing her nose back and forth for just a second before she start to pull away.

But despite whatever she was feeling, because all of the bad feelings clumped together to form this one heavy bundle sitting in her stomach, she didn't want Arizona to pull away. She wanted to wrap her arms around the blonde and fit together like a puzzle, the way only they could, and close her eyes and pretend that today didn't happen. And live like that, for a very long time. Forever, if it was possible.

And even though it was impossible, she still reached out and wrapped her arm tightly around Arizona's shoulders, "I love you, too. And I… I wish so much that I could tell you for sure that I would be happy without kids, but I just –"

She just wanted to know how everything had become so fucked up so fast. She just wanted to know how she woke up this morning in their bed, feeling like she was living in a fairy tale to how she was going to sleep feeling like her entire world was ending.

Slim shoulders shook underneath her arm, which just tightened in response, "I've spent six years knowing you. Being with you. Loving you. And," her voice broke, a sob working it's way through her, "I don't think… I don't know how to be without you."

Her own broke from her lips, which she pressed against Arizona's temple, inhaling in a way that she'd done so many times before but now it felt precious, before she whispered in admittance, "Me, neither. And I don't – how are we supposed to do this? Our life is together. It's _our_ life!"

She'd long, long since stopped thinking about everything in terms of her life or Arizona's. What impacted one of them included the other, for better or for worse. And it had always been comforting, something she relied on. The thought of not having that… scared the shit out of her. It made her feel like her heart was being ripped right from her chest.

"Can we… one more night?" the words left her throat in a croak.

Wordlessly, Arizona nodded, taking in a broken breath before her arms banded tightly around Callie's waist, and they fell back onto the couch cushions, into a position they'd been in countless times over the years, with Arizona pressing her face right against the crook of her neck, her skin hot against Callie's.

She wrapped herself around Arizona, intertwining together their legs as her arms wrapped around her and held so tightly. Like the inevitable next morning that was going to come sooner than either one of them wanted wouldn't make her move. And she continued to swallow hard, trying to subdue the lump in her throat that was so big it made breathing difficult. Which just went to hell when she felt Arizona's tears soak into her own shirt.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think… even if it might just be to let me know that you're plotting my death or something along those lines. I clearly have developed a new plan for this story than I originally intended. Thank you for reading!**


	13. The Aftermath

"Cal?" she could hear Addison call her name from the entrance into the redhead's apartment, and in response, she buried herself a little bit more into the thin blanket she had wrapped around herself.

The front door shut and she heard her friend walking toward where she sat on the living room couch, and hastily, she covered the Ben and Jerry's container she'd been eating out of by putting it down on the couch next to her and tugging the blanket over it. She didn't have enough time to change the television away from Dirty Dancing, though, and as soon as Addison was in the doorway, she heard her sigh, "Dirty Dancing, again?"

"At least I'm not crying at the end anymore," she quipped, trying to keep her voice light, but she silently added, _usually_. This was the movie that she and Addison had both watched with each other numerous times after breakups in the past, and she'd completely forgotten about it.

Until she'd left her and Arizona's apartment to stay with Addison and on her first night here, her friend had popped in the DVD. Though, unlike most times in the past, this wasn't just one of the breakups that required some ice cream, tequila, and a little while of processing with some sadness and regret mixed in. It didn't take watching Baby and Johnny reunite several times to make her feel better.

Because she'd watched it for what felt like hundreds of times in the last few days, and it kind of just made her feel even worse. Why did Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze deserve that happy ending? What about Callie and Arizona?

And, just before they were about to master the lift, Addison switched on the light and came up behind her, plucking the remote control out of her hands and switching off the movie, before she dropped it back down to Callie's lap and stood in front of her, hands on her hips.

"Tonight marks the third night since you've come to stay here. And I'm happy to have you, but… you need to get up and do something else," she lifted her hand and moved it up and down to gesture at her, "Because all you do is sit here and eat ice cream and watch movies. Which, I thought you were done with Dirty Dancing after last night…"

She trailed off and lifted her eyebrow at Callie, and she just shrugged, vividly recalling the way she'd woken Addison up in the middle of the night after drinking some of her expensive alcohol in her liquor cabinet. And how she'd cried and asked if she thought that Johnny and Baby had ended up married after the end of the movie, and if she thought that they would have had kids in the end.

There really was no right answer to give her; Addison, in her disorientedness, had said, "Probably," which had just made her cry harder. And then when the redhead had shaken herself out of it, and said, "Actually, no, they might have broken up," she'd cried just as hard. She didn't want to see other people have the happy ending that she wanted, but she also needed to know that they were still possible.

"I know I'm pathetic," they both looked at the empty tissue box, which was one of many she'd gone through in the last six days.

Addison just sighed, and dropped her hands from their position on her hips and walked forward, sitting on the arm of the couch, draping an arm over Callie's shoulders, "You're not pathetic. You're… sad." Then she closed her eyes and sighed, "I'm sorry that was a lame word."

"It really was," she agreed, because sad was just too simple to cover nearly half of what she was feeling. Feeling sad would feel better than what had been going on inside of her, because it alternated between that emptiness that just wouldn't go away and this acute awareness of that despair inside of her.

She _wished_ for sadness, at this point.

The hand on her shoulder rubbed a little bit before Addison pulled back with a smile, "Hey, at least you're not eating ice cream anymore!" because that was really all she'd been having while hiding out in her friend's apartment.

In response, she felt a little bit ashamed, and her shoulders hunched as she pulled back the blanket to reveal the half-eaten ice cream tub she'd been having, closing her eyes tightly and waiting for Addison to comment. It was a few seconds of silence before her friend slowly released a breath, "Ah… all right, you know what? We're going out. We're going to a club and you're going to dress hot and sexy because when you dress hot and sexy you _feel_ hot and sexy, and you're going to drink and have fun. And drink."

Right after the words left her mouth, Addison stood and pulled the blanket off of her, simultaneously taking away the Ben and Jerry's, but she didn't move, rubbing her hand over her stomach, just thinking about how much she'd drank last night had her feeling sick, "I don't want to go out and drink, Addison."

"Would you rather sit here, eat even more ice cream, watch even more Dirty Dancing, and stare at your phone both hoping and dreading to hear from Arizona? Again?" She shook her head, "Too bad. Get your butt up, Callie, and put on clothes that aren't yoga pants and a t-shirt. If you don't, then _I_ will dress you myself."

Reaching up, she pulled the blanket and the ice cream out of her hands, "It's been six days since the love of my life told me that we can't get married right before our wedding, and since I told her that I still had a dream of having kids that I knew she didn't share. Six days," she repeated, sitting back down, "I'm not ready to go out."

Addison's eyes were big and sympathetic and she slowly nodded, "Okay. Then I'm going to get on my sweatpants and we're going to watch something that isn't Dirty Dancing."

As she walked away, Callie couldn't stop her eyes from landing on her phone. The redhead was exactly right when she'd said that she was waiting to talk to Arizona. The blonde was the reason she was feeling so terrible, but also the only person that she wanted to talk to and the only one who could make her feel better.

She was angry with Arizona and she was heartbroken, but when she tried to go to sleep at night, all she wanted to see was one of those magical dimpled smiles and to feel that face be buried against her chest. And it didn't make any sense.

And when her phone rang, she jumped for it, feeling moderately let down when it was Aria, "Hello?"

Her sister's voice was panicky, "Callie? Have you heard from Dani?"

* * *

"Dr. Robbins, there's a kid here to see you," one of the nurses said to her, leaning on her elbow next to Arizona as she continued to fill out the last chart she had before she was officially off-call. Well, technically, she'd been able and allowed to leave the hospital for the last two hours. Actually, she was really _technically_ still on leave for her… honeymoon.

But she'd been spending most of her time at hospital since that day, because it was easier to bury herself in work than do… anything else. And even then, it didn't make her feel less like her heart was slowly crushed or take her mind off of Callie any more than anything else did.

Without looking up, she bit the inside of her cheek and flipped the papers up to double check what she'd written, before flipping it closed, and saying with a tight smile, which was about as much as she was managing these days, "There are a lot of kids here to see me."

The nurse, a woman named Taylor who'd been working at Boston Children's for nearly six months, laughed – too hard – and rested her hand on Arizona's arm, "True, very true."

Blue eyes fell to the appendage, frowning, and she side stepped, letting it fall away from her as she hopped onto her tip toes to look where the charts were kept on the other side of the counter, sliding it in the proper place, before falling back onto flat feet, looking at Taylor with a raised eyebrow.

And the blonde nurse bit her lip, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, blushing just a little as she rocked back on her heels, "Dr. Robb – Arizona," she corrected herself with a small smile, "Arizona. I know you… I know it hasn't been long since…" she trailed off, clearly searching for the words to say.

She silently filled them in. Since her heart was broken. Since the day of her wedding that never went on. Since she was supposed to have made the woman she loved the happiest on the planet but instead crushed her the same way she crushed herself. Since she'd even seen that woman. Which – somehow, while it still felt like merely hours ago in some respects – really felt like it had been months. Maybe even years.

Just thinking about it made her throat feel clogged with tears she refused to shed. Well, in public, anyway. Clearing her throat, she shook her head and re-focused her eyes from the spot on the counter next to them to Taylor's face, "Since." And she was just going to leave it at that.

Because there was no way she could verbally describe "since" to anyone who wasn't feeling it.

But Taylor somehow took that as a sign to continue to fill in the blanks, "Since… you've been single. But I just wanted you to know that, well, I know how lonely it can be. So if you ever need anyone –"

Arizona held up a hand to stop her, and shook her head, "I'm not – no. I'm not single and I'm not ready for… _that_." She still kept the necklace that she and Callie had exchanged six years ago, on their first Valentine's Day, on around her neck. It had only been less than a week since the wedding that never was, and she couldn't bring herself to take it off. Not yet.

God, a part of her wondered if she ever would be able to, because the thought of parting with it meant that everything was real. It made the hell of everything that had happened between them become real, and even though she _knew_ that it was real… she couldn't – she just couldn't. And maybe she was single, but she couldn't bring herself to be able to think of that term applying to herself. Because she just felt like everything was so – complicated.

The nurse's eyes fell to her left hand, which _was_ bare, "I thought –"

Instead of both of them staring at the blatant bare skin, she put both hands into her lab coat pockets, and cut her off short, "I'm sorry, you said there was a kid here to see me?"

Taylor, flustered, had a blush raise to her cheeks, but Arizona… couldn't bring herself to care. She was spread so thin just doing everything she could to hold herself together that offending someone who was hitting on her right after her failed wedding. The nurse cleared her throat, "Uh, yeah, she's in the waiting room."

Confused, she narrowed her eyes, "In the waiting room?"

Before the other blonde could answer, there was a voice from behind her, "Not anymore."

Taylor turned, "This is her," she confirmed.

Arizona maneuvered around the nurse, so her eyes could land on the source of that familiar voice. For the first time in days of just going through the motions, actual emotion pierced through her, an instinctual panic as she ran forward, her eyes searching for any sort of injury, "Dani, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

But the preteen pulled back so they weren't touching, "Is that lady the reason you didn't get married to Auntie Callie?"

The firm set of her jaw and the way her eyes were narrowed revealed so much anger that it nearly stole her breath away, and on top of that, she was completely baffled, "What are you talking about? Who?"

Dani pointed at Taylor, "Her!"

Arizona waved her off, "No, she just works here. How did you even get here? Is your mom here?" then her heart started to beat faster, "Callie?"

Now she crossed her arms and looked up at Arizona, angling her chin in a sheer Torres way, "I came myself. I'm almost twelve; I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not stupid, but you're still too young to be walking around the city by yourself at night," Jesus, just the thought of it scared the shit out of her, "There are a lot of weird people out there and – do your parents know where you are?"

She knew the answer by the way her eyes fell to look at the ground and she kicked out her foot before shuffling a little bit, "No."

Fishing her phone out of her pocket, she handed it to her, instructing, "Call. Now."

"Fine," she sighed, swiping the smart phone out of her hand and found her mother's number, "Mom? I'm fine. I came to see Arizona." Then she cringed at whatever Aria must have said to her, handing Arizona the phone, "She wants to talk to you."

Bringing it to her ear, she asked, "Aria?"

The Torres woman's voice was nearing hysterical, "She's really fine, right? I – can you bring her back to the hotel? Or I can come –"

She stopped her there, "Yes, she's really fine. I can walk her back. We'll see you soon," she said, stopping her from freaking out anymore.

Slipping the phone back into her pocket, she lifted her eyebrows, reaching out to put her hand on the top of her head in a gesture she'd been doing for years. But instead of giving her a braces-full smile the way Dani usually did, leaned back, "Don't touch me. And I came here so I could tell you that I'm _mad_ at you. And I wish you didn't tell my mom and you were going to bring me back because I don't want you to bring me back. I don't want _you_."

She dropped her hand like she'd been slapped, and that was exactly how she felt. While she was still searching for something to say in response, Dani turned on her heel and started to march away. By the time she caught up with her, the girl was nearly out the door, "Daniela Reyes, slow down! I don't care if you want me to walk you back or not, I am."

She held her head high, her head that already came up to Arizona's nose, and glared at her, "Don't call me my full name, _Arizona_. Because only my family can do that and you're not my aunt."

And the way her name was spit out from her mouth, the first time in nearly six years that she wasn't referred to as Auntie Arizona, made the tears that she'd managed to keep at bay all day spring back, "Dani, I…" she what? What did she have to say? The only child she'd ever had such a close bond with didn't want to be her niece anymore, and she didn't know what to say, "I'm sorry."

Her bottom lip wobbled and she paused on the sidewalk to look up at Arizona, quickly wiping away tears that started to track down her cheeks, and she knew that Dani hated crying, especially in front of other people, "Sorry doesn't mean that you still love us anymore. I thought you wanted to be a part our family!"

"I do!" she didn't mean for the words to come out as loud or desperate as they did, but they made the preteen tilt her head up to look at her, breathing heavy as more tears fell.

Now Dani was quiet, "Yeah, right."

Hesitantly, she reached her hand out, this time landing on her shoulder. The body under her hand was stiff, but she wasn't shrugged off, "Dani… I love you. And I very much am in love with your aunt."

The girl wiped at her nose with her sleeve, but kept marching on forward without looking at Arizona despite letting her hand rest on her shoulder, "Then why didn't you get married to her? That's what people who are in love do," she said with a "duh" tone.

"Because… there's more than just being in love behind a marriage. It's complicated," she settled on, even though she knew that while it was the truth, it was a completely unhelpful and didn't give anything to count on or rely on. It gave no closure.

Her bottom lip poked out in a pout, "That's what my mom says about my dad. And they got a divorce. He left my mom and you left Auntie Callie. It's not complicated; it's stupid. I always thought you were the smartest person ever, and I – I wanted you to be my aunt, for real."

"I did too," she responded, but Dani refused to answer her and didn't even look back at her when they came to a stop outside of the hotel that the family Torres was still staying at, where both Aria and Felix were waiting outside.

He gave her a nod, before putting his hand on Dani's shoulder and leading her into the building, and Aria hesitated, but didn't follow, especially as Arizona murmured, "She hates me."

And she couldn't blame Dani; she wasn't exactly fond of herself, either.

Aria sighed, "No, she doesn't. She's been upset for months and now that this happened… she's just mad at you. I am, too," she admitted, "But you can my sister are both idiots, and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her a few days ago: you need to realize everything you just gave up." She ran her hand through her hair and looked over her shoulder into the hotel lobby, "I'm living without the person who… I still think is the love of my life. And you know what? It's possible. I still wake up every morning, and every single one of those mornings, it hurts just a little bit less, and then one day, there will be a morning when I'll move on. But it won't be the same."

"We didn't get married, Aria," the words left her in a whisper, "On our _wedding day_. The day that Calliope has been looking forward to for her entire life, and she didn't get it because of me. And we couldn't, because then she wouldn't have kids, because of me. Do you think I don't know nothing is ever going to be the same?" the words choked her and she could feel the backs of her eyes burn, "Because I know that. I do."

She'd known for six years that her life would never be the same after Callie had entered it. There was just no "getting over" Callie, not for her. Maybe one day it wouldn't hurt as much as she hurt now, but nothing would be the same.

Aria gave her a sad smile, before shrugging as if to say choose wisely, before going back into the hotel. But there was no more choice. Their choice was made and locked in between the two of them, and now they had to live with the aftermath.

Arizona walked back to the apartment, dragging her heels, dreading going inside. This was how she'd been since Callie left; Callie had left that morning after saying that she couldn't be in their apartment anymore, and they didn't want to break the lease, which ended in a month, so… she stayed.

And it really fucking hurt. It hurt when she sat in their living room, where they'd fought about what color to paint the walls – twice, both when they'd first moved in and two years ago, when they'd redecorated. And she, triumphantly, won both times, despite the fact that it might have been done by blowing the Latina's mind in bed first. Their living room where they put their Christmas tree in the corner every year and decorated it with ornaments they'd both inherited separately, as well as bought together. Where they had shelves filled with movies, their tastes mixing.

It made her stomach clench in revolt when she went into the kitchen, which was hardly used at all anymore because she didn't do any cooking. But whenever she had to go there, she remembered all of the times that she'd had a bad day and Callie had surprised her with her favorite dinner or the mornings that Callie had made them breakfast half-naked.

And the worst was their bedroom. Because she could barely sleep at all anymore, because that feeling of loneliness that she used to feel without Callie was still there, but amplified now. But beyond that… she couldn't sleep in _their_ bed. Their bed, where they made love and cuddled and had wrestled over silly disagreements.

Whatever fitful hours of sleep she managed to get in the last few days were caught in the guest room.

As she drew closer to the apartment building, all she could see was the silhouette of the body, but her heart skipped a beat or ten, because she knew that silhouette better than she knew… anything else in the world.

"Calliope," the name slid from between her lips in a whisper and her throat felt dry. God. Six days, her head was yelling at her, but her eyes drank in the woman in front of her as if it had been forever. Because, really, it had. Hadn't it? They hadn't skyped, spoken, or texted in that time, and that had never happened. Since the beginning of their relationship they hadn't gone longer than a simple day without even texting, checking in. When Callie lived in a different state for a year, they'd had more contact than they had in the last week.

That dark head snapped up, and her breath caught in her throat… and held, because she couldn't let it out when chocolate eyes latched onto hers, and even though her stomach twisted painfully because of where they were in their relationship – whatever that relationship was at the moment, she wasn't really sure what to call them – just seeing them was like putting a soothing balm over a burning wound.

She walked forward quickly, because she needed _more_ of that feeling, when Callie's voice, low and gravely came through the air between them as she held up her phone, "I was waiting for you to text me all night. I've been waiting to hear from you and you haven't… you haven't."

"You – when you left you said you needed time and space," she croaked out, despite the fact that she's written and saved eighteen text drafts to her phone in the last six days, and had hovered over the call button every single day, just to hear Callie's voice, but she hadn't wanted to make it harder than it already was on either of them.

_It had been hours later when light came streaming in through the windows, illuminating the living room around them. They'd barely moved throughout the night, meaning that Arizona was lying half on top of Callie and half on her side, firmly between the back of the couch and the cushions below. _

_Her mouth was pressed against the fabric covering Callie's shoulder. It was the thin sweatshirt she'd worn last night, and it was the same way they'd been lying down for... all night. Just lying there, wrapped up in one another, not sleeping._

_How was she supposed to sleep when she felt like this? Like the entire world she'd created in the last six years was ending. Because it was ending. Callie had asked for one more night, and now that that night was over, she didn't know where to go from here. It didn't even seem like it was real life. _

"_All I keep thinking about is how did we get here? Because this isn't us; this isn't Callie and Arizona," Callie's words were the first spoken between them for a long, long while. _

_And she closed her eyes, shaking her head as much as she could, which just burrowed her in closer. Her throat hurt when she said, "I know. But I don't… what else is there to do?"_

"_I don't know!" she snapped, and she pushed upwards, shifting them both into a sitting position, leaving Arizona practically sitting in her lap, but neither of them moved to separate, "I've been trying to think, all night, of any way that we don't have to do this. But…" brown eyes bore into hers, before she blinked and looked down at her hands, shaking her head, and repeating, "This isn't us."_

"_Isn't it, though?" she asked, mirroring the way Callie was sitting, so that their faces were only inches away from one another, "We… do whatever it takes to be together. Including – no, especially avoiding talking about things that we obviously need to talk about." Feeling like she was going to throw up, she pressed her hand against her stomach, bringing the other to rest on Callie's on her leg, just holding there._

_All too soon, Callie was pulling away so they weren't touching at all, and even though it had to happen, she was terrified that it was going to be the last time they were ever going to have that connection they'd always had, and those tan hands reached up to wipe at her eyes, "I should… go. I need time to think, and just, I can't do it here, or with you."_

Not with you, she'd said, and the words stuck Arizona like a knife. But she'd done what Callie had wanted. She hadn't called or texted and she'd given her space and it killed her and it was only going to get worse.

"I know that's what I said, but I still… I miss you. I miss you so much and I'm mad at you and I love you and it all just sucks, Arizona. It sucks," she repeated, quietly.

Finally, she was close enough that she could see the light from the glass panel on the entrance door spill over Callie's face, basking her features in a fluorescent glow that she was positive only Callie could look good under. And her eyes feasted on her, drinking her in because she was like a woman who'd been without water for six days in the desert, "I know it sucks. And I miss you, too. More than… anything. Which is another reason why I haven't texted or called, because if I did, I wouldn't be able to stop."

It was just so… weird between them, the way they were standing. Weird in a way that it never had been, in a way that was unfamiliar and new and not appealing. But at the same time, it wasn't unappealing either, because just being here with Callie made her feel so much _better_.

Pulling out her keys and bouncing them a bit in her palm, she asked, "Why were you outside? It's still your apartment, too."

"I know, I just… I wanted to wait to see you. Can I come up with you?" her eyes were wide and imploring into Arizona's.

She shouldn't feel so excited, as excited as she did at the prospect. The voice in her head kept telling her that nothing was different. They were still in a stalemate about the future, they still had a called off wedding. But… it had been a _long_ week, "Yes, absolutely."

As soon as they were upstairs, her key in the lock, she felt Callie's arms wrap around her waist from behind. Her eyes closed of their own accord as she leaned back into the curvy warmth that her body _craved_, breathing in just that smell of Callie.

They moved together through the doorway, their bodies falling back into a rhythm that wasn't like the weird standoffish one from downstairs, and it soothed her nerves like nothing else. Then Callie had her turned, her back pressed hard against the door, slamming her against it as it closed.

Her hands dug into Callie's hips as those full lips pressed into hers and her teeth nipped almost painfully into her bottom one, making a groan claw out of her throat, because god, Callie felt so fucking good.

Breath already laboring, she pulled back, "Calliope, we really shouldn't do this."

Because this didn't solve anything and they were still in the same shitty place that they'd been in for almost a week, and this was undoubtedly just going to make everything worse when they really would have to separate from one another. And then Callie's hands streaked under her shirt, scraping up her back, making her shudder and arch firmly against her front, and that hot mouth that knew her body so well was on her neck, "Don't think about it. I just – I need you."

And everything was spoken in the desperate tone, which was so clearly reflected inside of herself, too. It was an innate _need_ – to be intimate, emotionally and physically, to each other that without that feeling, they'd both felt drained.

There was only so much self-control she could have… and with Callie, it had never, ever been that much, she thought dimly before she didn't think at all, her own hands tangling into that dark hair.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! The only two things I'm going to say about this is that first, I don't think either Callie or Arizona is right or wrong in this scenario, and second, for the several people who have asked in reviews and messaged me - Callie and Arizona _will_ end up together. Thank you for reading.**


	14. Just Can't Stay Away

Callie woke up the next day in mid-afternoon. The sun was streaming brightly in through the curtains that were completely pulled away from the windows, and she dimly remembered Arizona telling her last night that she hadn't slept in their bedroom since the day of their failed wedding, which explained why everything in here looked exactly as it had the morning she'd left a week ago, after packing a bag for Addison's.

It was nearly three, and her initial reaction was shock that she had slept so late. But the fact remained that she'd hardly slept more than a few hours a night this last week, and neither had Arizona, and so, here they were.

Her bottom lip throbbed in an oddly pleasurable way, from where Arizona had bitten into it during their last round, which had been… very early in the morning, she thought. It had been after five the last time she'd looked at the clock. Pushing herself up onto her elbow, she looked down at the sleeping woman next to her, with her arm loosely across her waist.

That arm had fallen when Callie sat up, originally over her chest, with a hand cupping her breast. Some things never changed, and that was such a double edged sword, she could barely stand it. With a slight frown, she brought her hand down to stroke back the tumbled blonde hair, messy from both her hands and from sleep. It went hand in hand with the feeling of warmth that she got by being here, cuddled with her, mixed with the feeling of her heart feeling like it was being squeezed too tightly knowing that things weren't the same that they had always been.

It was so hard to think that it had only been a week since they'd done this before; since she'd ran her fingers through tangled golden locks, heard Arizona's sigh as her face burrowed farther into the pillow under her head.

She'd been hurting inside for the last week. It was the wedding and the fact that her dress was still at Addison's and the fact that she hadn't seen Arizona and hadn't talked to her or heard from her. And it was that she knew that she was to blame for the huge mess that everything had turned into just as much as the blonde, that made everything even worse.

Pulling down the sheet that Arizona had tucked over both of them somewhere around sunrise – just a few inches – she saw the angry red scratches she'd left all over that long, lithely muscled back. That was the first gloriously heated match. Their hands had tugged and ripped each other's clothes, which she knew were strewn in a trail from the front door to the doorway of the living room, which was where last night had started.

And then had continued until they made their way into their bedroom. The bedroom? God, she didn't know what to call it. Because it was _theirs_ but _they_ were… she didn't even know. No, she did know. She knew that they weren't supposed to be together because they were probably the world's biggest fools.

She knew that they'd always wanted different things in life and yet they'd avoided the issue for so long that it bubbled over at the worst possible time. And that she was angry with both of them, still, which was where the scratches had come from last night came in.

She knew that she didn't _want_ Arizona to change, because even though it didn't make sense right now, she loved Arizona. She loved her so much that a week without her felt like an eternity and that even though she knew that breakups were always the hardest in the beginning, she just couldn't even imagine it ever feeling better.

She knew that if they were supposed to _break up_ or stay broken up, that her coming here last night and the two of them being here right now, cuddled together was wrong. It was wrong to her head, but what felt wrong was not sleeping entangled with Arizona. She couldn't possibly begin to explain to anyone in her life the strange sensation of wanting desperately to be with the woman she was in love with but knowing that being here was just not working out, for either of them. She knew that she was so deeply in love with Arizona and that she was so deeply in love with the idea of raising a child with her.

What she didn't know… was what to do about it, because having it all wasn't possible. Even if she didn't still feel so humiliated and burned and stupid about the fact that they'd been _this close_ to walking down the aisle, to being officially wife and wife, even if they could move beyond that together, she didn't know how to move past this.

Falling down onto her back, she lifted her arm to rest over her eyes, and like most of the times she'd been picturing since they broke up, she saw wedding dresses in her mind's eye. She thought about how amazing their wedding would have been and what they'd be doing now if they were married.

Even as her stomach twisted, a low, mirthless laugh worked it's way out of her, and then the arm around her waist tightened, as Arizona asked, her voice low and gravelly from sleep, "What are you laughing at?"

Bringing her hand down, she hesitated for just a second before sliding it over Arizona's, and intertwining their fingers together, "I, um, was just thinking…" god, she couldn't say it now, out loud, as her laughter completely dropped off and faded. Thinking the words made the backs of her eyes burn with tears, and she just shook her head, "Never mind."

The blonde propped herself up on an elbow and looked down at her, and Callie could so easily read the question in her eyes. And if this week hadn't happened, if they weren't where they were at the moment, then it might have been asked. But she also knew that as easily as she could see the desire for an answer from Arizona, Arizona could see the tears that she refused to shed.

So instead of pushing – when really, her thought was just that if they _had_ gone on their honeymoon, they would likely be in a very similar position to the one they were in now. Having stayed up in all hours of the night to have sex, sleeping until midafternoon. Though, in her imagining about that alternative future where everything was still good, she would have spent their waking period with much less thoughts and anxiety and this awful _heavy_ feeling in her stomach.

And just because the images in her head just hurt so fucking much – she _wanted_ them. She wanted them so badly to be true, she let out a sigh and pulled Arizona in toward her, nuzzling her nose into a bite mark she'd left on the soft skin of the blonde's neck. She smelled like a scent Callie knew like the back of her hand.

A bit like their body wash, a bit like sex, and a bit like that smell that had always been uniquely Arizona. It was a smell she'd woken up with for almost every morning they'd spent together for years. It was one of her favorite smells.

Arizona let out a sigh, and ran her hand up Callie's spine lightly, drawing out goose bumps, "Only a week and I've barely been able to stand being without you."

Her words were quiet and hoarse, and they made Callie's heart feel like it was constricting, "I know. Me, neither."

Arizona drew away from her and sat up, tossing all that tumbled hair over her shoulder and pulling up her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them, while big, clear blue eyes stared sadly at her. And she knew exactly what was on her mind, and she beat Arizona to the words, "We can't do this again."

It had been exactly what Arizona had been thinking, and she nodded, squeezing her eyes closed, "I just… we can't. It's just going to make everything harder."

"It's already harder," she bit her lip, "The only thing that's felt good at all in the last week is here and you."

Now Arizona slid back down onto her side, keeping her head held up on her hand, while bringing the other one back to lightly skim over Callie's jaw. The touch was slow and light and reverent and it made her stomach tingle in a way that she'd always found so incredible that Arizona could still make her feel after being together for years. But it also made her nervous, and she lifted her hand to cup over Arizona's and hold it there, running her thumb over the back of her hand.

"This is so incredibly messed up," she whispered, and even though she had said the words before, even though they didn't accurately describe their situation and what she felt. But it was all she had at the moment.

She felt more than saw Arizona nod in agreement, her hair brushing against her face, "To say the least."

Lightly, she moved her finger down that pale back, following the line of a scratch she'd left hours earlier. There was a part of her that wanted to apologize for it, because – it certainly wasn't the first mark she'd ever left on Arizona's body during sex. It wasn't even the worst scratch she'd ever left there during angry sex. She didn't think, anyway – every time she'd ever left the marks on Arizona's body, she'd always spent time afterwards peppering them with soft kisses.

But it had felt so _good_ to dig in her nails and sink in her teeth and drive her fingers into her, hard and fast and unrelenting, because it felt like the best way she'd been able to show how she was feeling. Raw and hurt and painful. And in some way, it had made her feel replenished.

"So… maybe we just shouldn't see each other for a while, right? Because, what, are you just not supposed to be a part of my life?" the words sounded foreign to her; she couldn't imagine not having Arizona as the woman she was going to face the world with, but even more than that, she couldn't imagine not having Arizona, at all.

Minutes ticked by slowly, before Arizona slid her hand down to rest it briefly over her heart, and then withdrew altogether, "I – no. I want you as a part of my life, Calliope. Always. It's just… it's going to be a little while, before."

She didn't really know what a little while meant. But what she did know, was that it meant nothing would be happening between the two of them for a while. And she didn't know how to do that. Clearing her throat, she asked, "So, what does this whole, not seeing each other thing, start?"

Arizona bit her lip, and shrugged, before reaching her hand down and twisting her fingers in the sheets, "I, um, I don't… Callie, I don't know. I feel like I'm just floundering here. I just _don't know_. I don't know what to say that can make anything better or even just… less worse."

A frustrated sigh left her lips and she leaned back against the pillows, "I don't think there's anything you can say to make it better." No matter what words were said, there was still the fact that they didn't get married. That she wouldn't have little babies with Arizona's mannerisms. That things… were different now.

She rolled her head to the clock, for a few seconds just content to lie there, in the bed that felt so familiar and warm and comfortable. Just the thought of getting up and leaving and going back to stay at Addison's felt wrong.

Biting her lip, Callie looked back at Arizona, and her voice was low as she turned onto her side, "I don't want to leave."

Those ocean eyes, with just a hint of mischief – something she hadn't seen in what felt like far too long – scanned her face, "Well, I still have time off from the hospital. So this whole day, in theory, is free."

She could feel Arizona's hand return, drawing light patterns against her side, before sliding up, just grazing the side of her breast. Her core was already clenching in anticipation, and the sigh she released into the air as those agile, talented fingers flicked over her nipple was one made up of anticipation and she skimmed her own hand up Arizona's side, resting on her hip and sliding around to that butt, "I have time off, too."

She knew that they both had the next three days off, still. And it might not have been the smartest thing. It might not make sense to anyone but the two of them, but it was so, so easy to lose herself in Arizona.

* * *

"God, yes – fuck – right there!" the words left Callie in a breathless scream, her nails digging in and leaving crescent shaped marks as Arizona pumped in and out of her at a rapid speed.

This… this was a feeling she only felt with Arizona – had only ever felt with her and she was already so fucking close. Biting into a soft shoulder, she felt the blonde gasp against her neck, then grind even harder down onto her leg. It was all she could do to keep pumping her thigh up against Arizona's center, feeling her wet heat against her, spurred on by the grunts leaving those soft pink lips that were leaving sloppy kisses up and down the column of her neck.

The feeling coiling inside of her was quickly becoming intense enough to make her spiral into an orgasm, and because Arizona was Arizona, she knew exactly which way to curl her fingers to make Callie explode. As she dug her fingers into the blonde's back, her world splintered and she was able to thrust upwards one more time, barely registering Arizona's strangled, "Calliope!"

As her heart pounded in her chest, the woman above her collapsed onto her – Arizona's head landing face-down on the pillow, that fine blonde hair sticking to the sweaty skin of her neck and onto her face. Puffing out breaths, she tried to get the hair that was sprawled out over her lips away, then when that didn't work, tried to will herself to lift her arm up, but that didn't work either because all of her muscles felt like jelly.

It was fine, she decided. She could live with it, and the most she was able to move was her fingers, lightly back and forth over Arizona's thighs that were still straddling her hips. Gradually, she felt soft lips start to press kisses into her neck, and a sigh slipped out of her throat as she turned her head to the side, allowing for more of her skin to be kissed.

Then, with a groan, Arizona rolled completely off of her, albeit leaving her arm still around her, "We weren't supposed to be doing this anymore," she whispered.

Closing her eyes at the words for just a moment, she turned her head so that she could look into those blue eyes that had that taken on that hue – darkened to a sapphire from their love making, but slowly clearing into that pale sunny sky.

They had spent those three days, despite their better judgment, shacked up together in their apartment and living in a blissful existence where their non-wedding hadn't happened and neither did the prospect of future children.

So they weren't supposed to continue being around one another, and promised each other that they would take a break. And that hadn't gone as planned, at all.

Because two days later, Alex had gotten Arizona drunk, which led to a phone call. Which led to them meeting up, and Arizona was crying and then she'd cried. And they're had tearful sex in her bedroom at Addison's apartment – which she supposed was also kind of her apartment, too, for now. Then they'd sworn for that to really be the last time.

But then, there was the time after that, when she'd had to go get more of her things from their apartment, and Arizona had been there, watching one of her Disney movies with hot chocolate, even though it was the summer time. It was somewhat of a comfort food, despite the fact that it wasn't actually a food, for Arizona. And it had always been something she'd found endearing. So seeing here there, watching _Toy Story_ in their apartment, made it impossible for her to just turn around and leave. She stayed for a few hours.

And then there was last night that she'd agreed to go out to a bar with Addison. While she'd been nursing her first drink, a woman had hit on her. It hadn't made her feel like what attention from someone else was apparently supposed to make you feel after a breakup – at least, according to Addison. Instead, it drove her to see Arizona again.

And this time, they were in an on-call room at Mass Gen.

It wasn't either of their faults, either – not this time; really, it wasn't. Because Arizona had been asked by Dr. Tamas to assist on a consult on a patient here, and how were they supposed to stay apart when Arizona was at her hospital? And they'd both met at their coffee cart – the one they'd both gone to together every day when Arizona had still been there to complete her residency – completely on accident.

They attempted to stay apart. But… it just didn't work out so well. Clearly.

Callie felt a laugh bubble up in her throat, she shook her head, "We are really, really not good at not doing this."

Arizona shook lightly in laughter next to her for just a moment before drawing her hand down Callie's side, scratching lightly, "No matter what wasn't working between us, this always has," she gestured down the length of their bodies.

She lightly hmm'd in agreement before rolling onto her side and throwing an arm over Arizona's waist, closing her eyes just a bit. It had gotten easier, sleeping through the night without her. But it still didn't feel nearly as good as this did. This cuddling, this comfort, this way Arizona would automatically hook their ankles together.

Arizona bit her lip, and her eyes bore into Callie's which were only inches away on their shared pillow on the small on-call room bed, "What are we doing here, Calliope?"

Her voice was small, and yet it sounded so loud in the quiet, dark room. Because Callie really didn't know. She didn't know what to say to Addison when her best friend always gave her those knowing looks after she returned from being with Arizona. They would talk, but it was always about things that they would talk about when they were together. About their lives and jobs and friends, and it was never about what they both knew they should be talking about.

Like, what they were going to do when the lease on the apartment was going to be done. Or when they really were going to stop dancing around the issue of not being together because it _had_ to be talked about, to be dealt with. Instead, they both danced around everything that they needed to say.

So she gave the only answer she had, "I don't know. Not staying away from each other?" she offered. Feeling a little desperate, she leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, "Why do we have to name what we're doing right now? When I'm with you, everything's good and that's all I can tell you."

It was all she had. Being _with_ Arizona was the only time she didn't think about the two of them.

But pained blue eyes looked up at her, "Why? Why is because, Calliope, _this_, right here, what we're doing, does make everything feel good again, and it's what I want! It's what I've always wanted, with you and me – exactly what we had before. I want to have sex in on-call rooms and then curl up right next to you after and talk about anything that comes to my mind. I want this – I want _you_ so badly, that having this… this whatever it is, is killing me," the words left her quietly, but they seemed like they echoed in the small room.

Then she sat up, drawing both hands through her hair, managing to take in a ragged breath before continuing, "I am living around the times where one of us caves and gives into going to see the other one, and then every time that it ends, you walk away because we're – we're not together." She put her back against the wall, pulling the sheet up around her, and she lifted both of her hands, the heels digging into her eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to fall, "We aren't together," and when the words left her, they sounded shocked, as if they didn't feel real.

But they didn't feel real to her, either, and anger rose fast inside of her, burning her throat, "And whose fault is that, Arizona?" she sniped, throwing the blankets off of her, and reaching for her panties that had been hastily discarded down toward the foot of the bed, "We were supposed to get _married_! You proposed to me, and then… it didn't happen."

She could practically feel the words burn her throat as they came out.

"Don't you think I know that? I wanted nothing more than to walk down the aisle with you! I wanted for you to be my wife, Calliope," her hand reached out and landed on Callie's shoulder, and just as quickly as that anger came, it faded, melting into her touch. "I know it's my fault. Every day, I know that it's my fault that your dreams didn't come true."

Biting her lip, she turned to face her, "That's just it. You wanted nothing more than to walk down the aisle and I _did_. I do. It's not your fault. It's… it's… it's bullshit, is what it is, Arizona. Because every time I'm not with you, all I want is to be there. I want you, and more. I want you and a family with you. A family of little… yous. I want everything with you that there is to offer, and then… when I have to leave or you have to leave, then I wonder if I could live without it, because this feeling that I have when we're not together crushes me."

It was every time in the weeks that they weren't together that she thought about living without the tiny humans, as Arizona called them, that her entire being had always craved to have, to produce. And it was hell, all of it was hell.

Taking in a deep breath was difficult, as she tugged on her scrub top, then turned to face Arizona, who was still flushed and tumbled from the amazing sex they'd just had. And she sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out her hand to rest it on her knee, "And even though there's this whole time of complete and utter hell, I still don't know how to make myself stay away from you."

Those perfect white teeth dug into Arizona's bottom lip and Callie watched her swallow hard, before she reached her hand out and covered Callie's with it, "I know. Me, neither. But, if we're not going to change our – habit," she settled on the word, "of seeing each other even when we know we shouldn't, then we need to figure out what we're going to do..."

She shook her head back, and her eyes landed on the blanket for just a moment before they shifted back up to Callie, and her voice was nearly a hushed whisper, "Something has to change, here. And I… I've arranged some time to go see my parents this weekend, and while I'm there… I scheduled an interview at Hopkins."

And just like that, it felt like everything stopped spinning again, and her eyebrows drew down incredulously, "What? What do you mean you have an interview at Hopkins? You _love_ your job."

Ever since Arizona started that job almost a year ago, for her fellowship, she'd loved it; it was Boston Children's Hospital, for crying out loud, one of the top pediatric hospitals in the United States.

A slim shoulder shrugged, "I do. But… Calliope, I need all of you or I need to find some way to not have the option of seeing you, for some time. Because, when it's there, I'm always going to take it. And that's not what either one of us needs."

Logically, she knew Arizona was right. She knew it had been practically a month since they'd been in this cycle, and that it wasn't doing either of them any good in the long run. But Arizona _leaving_, or as she'd phrased it taking away the option of seeing her, was just – frightening. And she hated the idea of it.

And what she hated even more was how it left her feeling like she had been feeling for too long, like she was stuck in a tailspin and she hardly knew how to react. They were stuck staring at one another until she was paged 911, and she stood, grabbing the pager and staring at it blankly for a moment before her too-tight feeling throat croaked out the words, "I have to go."

* * *

**Please let me know what you think; I appreciate all of your comments so far. Thank you for reading!**


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